Waiting For You...

2007-04-26T17:39:00.000+08:00

Morning were raining so heavily lo..piang..than when at home..daddy still wan to drive mi to sch de..but mins later the rain stopped..than thought no more rain le..can walk sch..than how i noe halfway towards interchange..it started pouring heavily again..shit lo..than is damn big lo.bo bian..thought of hirin a cab..but at tis peak hr somemore rainin day..n is 7+ liao..than also don noe where to hire,.than walked to sch..by the time we reached sch..we were all wet..than took off my shoe..than wanted to dry my clothe..but all washroom hand dryer is spoil..stupid toilet..than bo bian..have to let it dry naturally..shirley don wan wear shoe..than pei her lo..haha..than took off my shoe..than walked bare footed..lolz..1st period bio..than ms wong stunned when we didnt wear our shoe..lolz..than she lend mi her slippers..very cute lo..gt fury fury ball ball infront de..haha..than shirley lend from mr yeo..lolz..2nd period p.e..played tug-a-war..compete wif one of de sec 4 NA..than every round we wins..lolz..last time lose to them..damn sian..but tis time gt back wat we ought to win..lolz..saw the unity among our class..really..impressed...after tat pysics..erm..nt bad too..quite freee..than after recess is history..haha..nth much do also..slack slack..than 2 period maths..startin eveyrone was so quiet lo..tink mr yeo not in gd mood..than all guai guai do work all tat..after tat is 2 period C.E lesson..gt the D I S C thingy..abt ur peronality all tat..its really true..haha..have to browse thru again the booklet..had a peronal booklet on mi..haha..after tat arrange the tables n chairs for tomoro's mid yr examination..than went art room.ping have to find treacher about her art..quite long.than had fun in there..walked to lot1..than went to walk ard..do something impt..than go home le..later gonna b bz wif something le..hmm..anyway..jia you for tomroo exam ba..kambateh..!! GO GO GO !!muackz..best wishes..

Is our distance gettin closer or further ? I don wan de lei..I don noe wat happen lei..Strange lei..Mayb of my self peronality or wat ??hmm..don noe la..felt so unhappy..haiz..wat bout u ? I nt don wan to open my mouth to tok to u..i'm scare of the consequences..will it turn out bad ? or wat ? haiz..so confused..I scare when i step out the first step u will jus ignore mi..haiz..many thoughts go thru my mind..how huh..cause wat i'm tinking now is nth much happen ma..all is over le..jus tat we r silent..tats all..mayb serious misunderstanding in btw ba..yup..U noe how glad i'm when i gave u de choco tis morning..lolz..at least i gt the chance to tok to u..wheneva i see u i don dare to directly look at u..i scare i will get some negative looks back..wheneva i wanted to smilex to u..i don dare to smilex directly..haiz..i wanted to find the chance to get close to u wheneva i see u..i wan to tok to u if there's a chance..haiz..y our friendship suddenly b'cum like tat ? haiz..i don wan la..yup..Mayb i shld take de first step out..but i relaly cant get to it..don noe y..strugglin..haiz..how how how..no matter wat..wanna wish u best wishes n good luck for ur tomoro english mid yr examination..kz..tc..noe u get down to flu tis few days..tc ba..Missed.

2007-04-25T18:38:00.000+08:00

Today were quite tiring..very moody everyone of us..hmm..best part is..1st 2 period..history..ms ong nv cum..wahahaha..than slack..but still doin work n studyin for bio la..than after tat is 2 period bio..aiyo..die liao lo..the test is quite fun.rotating ard 15 stations..but sure fail de..haha..cause study nt much..lolz.than physicx were fun..mr malek in gd mood today i tink..haha..than the whole class very relax..lolz..than english were very tired le..lucky is 1 period only..than mtl..funny lo..so many teacher in canteen than they go buy food to eat..from the entrance for the stall holders..lolz..than maths were stil ok..but seems like many n many things r really hard to catch up le..haiz..jia you ba..after sch went to lot 1 to find my friend in ajisen..glad to see him ard..hope he will b transfer here..than he wont have to see the SHARON MANAGER face liao..always bias de..haiz..nvm..than walk walk..than went to bought something impt..yup..than 6+ jiu reach home le..preparin for my art thingy..than arrangin all the photo in my documents n hp..than all were re shuffled..haha..so happy..than later jiu go do n revise my work le..yup..

别想你忍不住我提醒自己

伤了心有些事也要过去

心很痛痛的不想再做我自己

很想你也不是因为失去你

用尽我全心全力你

一生情只为这一次与你相遇

与你相慰我为你痴为你累

风雨我都不后悔

我又怎么有路可退

开始离不开你

一生一世的心注定是为了你

若不是因为你

我依然在风雨里

飘来荡去我早已经放弃

伤过痛过后的心情

随你的轻声细语

渐渐忘记那浮浮沉沉的曾经

2nd day le..argh...kip on gt ppl ask abt tis matter..haiz..wats wrong wats wrong ? izzit a test for mi ? a new challenge for mi ? how long do it have to last ? i don noe..sobx.. haiz..missed..

2007-04-24T21:21:00.000+08:00

Hmm..Physic 2 whole period were goin thru a mock paper..than doin correction..than time passed..than after mtl chit chat ..rest abit..than do some work..than after recess english class..erm..2 period still ok..nt restless..haha..bio..haiz..tomroo gt test on reproduction on plants..hmm,.sure fail again de la..lolz.than today no common test..than maths actually 1 period only..but stretch to 2 period..2.15 than end..haha..nvm la..learn more..than we gt a class "cheer" somehow..haha..than after sch put our bags in art room..than went to ajisen to have lunch..have "man zu gan" le..cause ate ajisen which i long wanted to..haha..but feel heartpain at the same time..feeded my mind..my stomach wif all the food it wans to eat..but my pocket will nv b feed..haha..nvm..gonna save up again le..CANT USE ANY MORE $$$ LE..than after tat jiu went walk ard help buy something for mrs tay..than go back sch le..took photos...lots of it..stupid one also have,lolz..had fun..than 6+ everything ended n went home..went to lot 1 again..than i bought a card reader..hmm..for $13..spent money again..but if it is useful to mi.tink is quite worth it ba.hm..SAVE SAVE SAVE FROM TMR ON...than went home le..tried using the card reader..than put photo in..haha.yipee..

Sry..B true..I mizz U..really.is tat kind of nt use to it de miss..haiz..i'm nt giving the attitude u r goin to b pleasant everytime..i'm sry..tats mi..i really hope i can change into a better mi b'cos of u..but another way i hope while i'm trying to change..u can try acceptin mi too..I admit..tis time is really my fault..it is..i started the cold war..Juz 1 day..but i really cant take it..so fragile..my stubborn..stupid..attitude n character..i m also wonderin..when will it stop..will u hate mi ? i don noe.No much ppl can really tolerate mi..i don wan to force u..but..haiz...i m scare i will get the coldnest from u if i were to approach u..i scare the ignorance from u..haiz..were tinkin how were u..felt the hurtx..but cant sae..saw u but can jus turn away..b'cos of my irritatin face..haiz..i'm sry..tats all..tc..

2007-04-23T17:45:00.000+08:00

Morning art..hmm..Change my theme..at 1st is "Colour Of Life"..than change to "My life"..than lastly finalist on "ME"..lolz..cause mi n mrs tay sit down there tok n discuss abt lots of things..than the manipulation all tat..than in the end still feel doin abt myself is still de best..cause i cant really focus on my friends tat much..i noe myself fully well than knowing them..n i really cant focus much n do much on them..so in conclusion we decided to do on myself..hope tis will b finalist theme..n hope i can do well n score well for it..Took mi 4 periods to do n dicuss on my art wif teacher..1st time lo..lolz..before recess i'm in the art room all the while..lolz.

Than after recess..Mr yeo didnt cum..tink sick dao very yan zong le ba..than 2 period no lesson..than were chatting n having fun wif the boys in class..feel my class is becuming more n more united..but kicking n leaving out some of them..OF COURSE DE LA !! not only mi agree on tat lo..the guys too lo..nvm..

During history class..jus 1 period..done nth much too..chatting away..than goin thru some ans n all tat..

English gt back our common test 3..than gt 17/30..nt tat well done..but at least gt improvement..yup yup..haha..than done some corrections n the whole day of lesson is gone n finished jus like tat..haha..so happy..

Waited long for the whole day lesson to b over..haha..y lei ?! cause planned to go for a movie..woohoo..been waitin n hoping the time pass faster..lolz..quite a long time since i watch le ba..n craving to watch tat show..<200>..as i heard tat it is quite a nice show..than walked to lot 1 wif valerie n vincent..than she went home n we went to watch the show at 3pm..the movie was great..really..learnt something from tis movie..yup..=x..guys r probably de same ba,.lolz..no la..anyway..nice show..than after tat were so paiseh..feel like eating ajisen for quite a long time le ba..but don dare sae..than also don noe if he wan to eat or not..than asked him..how wish he will sae ok..than i'll b relieve liao..lolz..but the ans is don noe don noe..hmm..nt an ans i wan..but as my friends they all noe i hate making decision..everytime they decide n i follow..n everyone happy..haiz..but than after tat..i okok lo..walked to ajisen there..than i noe he is playing wif mi.."eee.."as usual..i noe..but i m sensitive.jus feel so..don noe how to sae la..the feelin is like..i already so ps liao..don noe whether u will wan go not..than ask u wan eat where u don noe,,.than i ps walk there hope u would jus smilex n sae ok..to u..eee is alright..but at tat moment to mi is nt ba..jus wanna sae out how i felt..if u were to see my blog..i understand fully well u'll get angry,,nvm..normal reaction..i jus wanna sae wateva feelin in my blog..tats all..than my temper is like tat de lo..once i'm "scare" tio..at tat moment i somehow felt so ps..don noe how to express..than i can only shut up n walk on..mind was so blank..tinkin of wat to do..don noe where to go le..than today nan de no nid so early go home..in sch still thought of goin to catch a gd meal without rushing home once..as mummy is goin out at nite..n told her once i'll b out abit later than usual..haiz..n it is jus ruin like tat..nvm la..than went to ntuc..walk here n there jus to delay some time..hopin everything wld b fine by then..than i asked again..u gt pissed off{of course.normal reaction] by then le..than fine lo../my normal reaction is fine..go home then..we'll walk n go no where if we continues like tat..volcano might jus erupt lo..than jiu go home lo..how i felt like crying..don noe y..too sensitive le..guilty ?? probably..I've apologize le..acceptin or not is up to u..pls hate mi if u wan ba..makes mi more relieve..i wont b able to giv u the right attitude everytime..especially recently..i tried..but..i'm sry..

I don wanna giv u attitude de..u tink i wan ? i m gettin more n more sensitive to wateva u do..jus a normal reaction tat cums out..i also wan control..but u noe it is relaly hard ? i don noe..as u change..i expect more n more from u..i hate it..but i jus feel man zhu gan when i see u change one by one,.i hurt u i noe..but i also don like lo..as i told u..my emotion n feelin recently r swingin..i don wan to affect anyone of u..i said b4..my feelin change..my sensitivity is very strong..my aim n goal is higher n higer..i hate tat..i hate it..i told u once..for a person to love others..she must start to love herself first..ya..i do..but wheneva things happen n hurt someone..i hate myself lots..yes i do,..i really does..wat sucky attitude yu shian is giving..wat kind of knn charcarter she is showing..y cant she jus b like some other gals who cld take up wateva blow..hold back their tears..accept the fun n jokes..accept others doin..etc etc..y cant she do it ? how i wish n envy othet gals when i see their strong power in them..i m anti social..i likes being alone..i like to tink myself..i like to follow my own ways..i like to rule myself..i tink very highly of myself..tats y i m fated to fall one day..without even anyone to call an ambulance for mi..cause by then no one will eva likes mi..no one will even tink of mi..no one will cares abt mi..tats all..different feelins n emotion kip coming,..i ren n ren n ren..but i really cant stand it too long..i cry wheneva i feel like..cause too many things is stored inside for too long n once a little things aggitated mi i burst everything out..i m not a strong gal inside..nv..since young..i may b a cry baby..but i noe i'll feel better after tat..i might b hard on the ouitside...n an eye sore of others..but deep down do u all noe how to deal wif mi ? do u all noe wat i tinking ? do u all noe how hurt n regret when i noe i hurt u all ? saying sry sincerely out of my mouth is relaly really hard..u noe how much courage do i nid to do everything ? haiz.shall jus end here..

Friends out there..Accept mi for who i m if u can..if not..i urge u to leave mi..i relaly scare i'll jus break all ur bones one day,..noe my character..noe my attitude..I M HOT TEMPERED !! I have a F***ing Attitude for u all to deal wif..b prepared to go thru all tis as a friend of mine.if nt..leave ba..till now..i only met one who can truly deal n convince mi..but in the end..tat person gave up too..yup..i'm so hard to deal wif..n tats all..

2007-04-18T19:39:00.000+08:00

Lesson b4 recess were all cancelled..hooray..haha..cause mornin gt the sports heat at stadium for those runners..than teachers we there too..than morning gt house cheerin practice..statin to get enthu as the date of sports day is nearer n nearer..than i vow to myself..tat day i definitely must cheer as loud as possible..don care abt anyone..anything..even no voice also wan to cheer..tis is my last yr in sec sch life..sports day le..i wan to enjoy myself..than after tat went back to class than since no lesson..we gathered n discuss n settled the class tee..n ya,..today collected almost half the class money le..haha..hope it goes well..than after recess..lesson were ok..than after sch went to science centre..omni theatre to watch videos on Human body parts..nice lo..haha.enjoyed..than were nt feeelin tat well..but nth de la..endure jiu hao le..after tat teacher let us alight at lot 1 since the bus pass by lot 1..haha..than went to kfc wif my darlings..pei them eat..than went home..tired..later goin slp le..troubled..anyway..tc everyone..hot day drink more water..cheers..=)

2007-04-17T20:08:00.000+08:00

Morning still ok..but awhile later tat kind of freakin emotion n feelin cum le..i relaly don like it..kip on trying to restrict it but relaly cant..i cant bear to leave my friend but i have to..my face n attitude is too much for them to accept le..i don wan to affect them..friends..mi myself also don noe wat happen..so i relaly cant sae out how i feel n wat happen..sry lei..tis will nt b the end..but i definitely noe tat i'll try as far as possible to stop everything coming..sry..than after sch..b'cos of mi problem..shirley dropped tears..i'm sry..i really don noe how to sae it out..sry..after tat sat outside art room alone for very long..than tink n tink..than li n dor came out n tok things out..n today things were settled..i'm so sry..i really cant giv u all a full explanation..jus bear wif mi for tis while.k..sry..b4 tat went for GB project thingy...F*** la..i didnt noe u all made li n dor a puppet lo..scold them for wat..idiot..u all r jus a bunch of sec4 lo..idiot seh..damn freak de lo..u all wan scold or sae wat also no nid humiliate the sec5 infront of all the juniors n other GB gals de lo..idiot..enough of all tis nonsence lo..so wat if all teachers dote of u all so much..pui lo..nth de lo..only noe how to follow teachers backside n help them clean n clean..n put honey on it..eeyyer..er xin lo..siao de..tink u all big grp jiu can GL la..freak..really enough le lo..i didnt scold u all directly is b'cos i giv u all face n don wan any quarrels jus b'cos u all r my juniors..but don go over the limit hor..betta watch it...than after everything..left sch abt 6+ than watied for the bus damn long..lolz..than went to buy bubble tea..than saw wh..hmm,..than after tat vinz sent mi home again..before i gt of the cab he passed mi something..startin still thought is rubbish.lolz..than as i nid to get off fast..than jus get off n took it b4 i cld see n sae anything..haha..than saw it is a strawberry lollipop..hahax.so sweet lo..i mean the lollipop..haha..no la..but really nice of u.tks..for cheerin mi up..sry if i were to make ui angry tis few days..really have to bear wif mi for quite some times..n tks for ur patience towards mi recently..muackz..opps..lolz..nvm la..others don tink too much..is a buddy kiss..haha..lolz..lame..u all wan i also can give..muackz..take tis hor..don take wrong..lolz..so stupid..k la..anyway..conclusion is today is sad..happy..glad..n friends..really really wan to tks u all in advance..
*WO jiu shi xi huan ni na wei wei de xiao rong*
*Jing Jing de pei zai wo shen bian,chong bu li qu*
*Xie Xie ni*

Yu shian

2007-04-16T18:25:00.000+08:00

Morning woke up 5+ make breakfast for my darlings..than went out quite early today..than reach there abt 7.53 like tat..lolz..than had house meetin..will have another on wd morning..than friday is sports day le..than class were still ok..than after sch all no IP coaching jiu went to lot 1..than mi.serene.wan hui n vinz went to suki sushi to eat..i didnt eat b'cos of some prob..yup..really cant spend money le..so ..yup..sry lei..than went down cause vinz wan deposit n withdraw money..than mummy appear..tok to mi,..than different emotion came..many feelin..cant b telled.mi also don noe wat happen..jus feel really scare..really..than went back than sit there rest..n was in a daze thruout..don really dare to look at him..i scare he angry..but he was there to stand by mi..tks..he sent mi home..haiz..than reach home le..tok to mum again..than she told mi about relationship thingy..about kor n his gf..n many things..than kip on say mi n him..sure nx time together.than kip on tell her no la..than she kip on sae..no matter hwo she see...no matter which direction she look from ..she still tink we r together,,alamak..than she even sae he slim down le..grow taller n look nicer le..lolz..duhx..than since jus now i reach home till now she nv stop tokin abt him..haiyo..kip on sae abt future..argh..omg..erm..if u were to look at my tis post don b erm..yup..she is jus jokin ba..i tink..k..hahax..anyway..had a tirin day ba..tomro will b more tired ba..hmm...

HEY U..CRAZY OR IDIOT..FREAK LO. U WAN NUMBER GO ASK URSELF LA..Y MUST GO THRU MI..SIAO..FROM YRS AGO MANY PPL KIP GO THRU BY MI TO GET OTHERS NUMBER..GET GALS NUMBER ALSO MI..GET BOI NUMBER ALSO MI..SIAO AR..I NOT A PHONE BOOK LO..I NOE I NT PRETTY N NO ONE WANS MY NUMBER OR WATSOEVA..BUT CAN U ALL DON LIKE TAT NOT...TO U ALL IS NORMAL..BUT TO MI I WILL BECOME MORE ZI BEI..I FEEL MORE LOW SELF ESTEEM..EVERYTIME WAN PRETTY GAL NUMBER OR WAT ALSO ASK MI GO..EVEN IF IS THE GUY I ADMIRE MOST..HAIZ..I DON NOE LA..PLS LA..N JUS WANNA SAE..I WILL NV GIVE PPL OTHERS NUMBER WITHOUT PERMISSION FROM THE NUMBER OWNER..SO NO USE ASKIN MI DE..N IF U HAVE DE GUTS TO WAN..THAN U SHLD HAVE THE GUTS TO ASK..CAUSE NO MATTER WAT IN FUTURE U GET THE NUMBER LIAO U ALSO HAVE TO HAVE THE GUTS TO CONTACT DE MA..DON TELL MI U ASK PPL GET FOR U DE NUMBER N U EVERYDAY STARE AT IT AR..CRAZY..WARN U ALL LO..I MAY NOT B AS NICE AS OTHER GALS OUT THERE..BUT PLS NV HUMILIATE MI..I M ALSO A GALL..A HUMAN BEING..A PERSON WIF FEELIN N EMOTION..K..

2007-04-15T20:20:00.000+08:00

Ytd slept ard 1am+..Did my work n project..than mornin ard 7+ jiu woke up le..y lei..cause NATURE CALLED !! lolz..than went back to bed n saw hp msg from mummy n vinz..hahax..but too tired so went back to slp awhile..8 woke up n went to do housework..than bath..jiu go out le..took LRT to jelapang n walked to vinz house downstairs..haha..i figured the way there !! WOOHOO...yipee yeah..lolz..than saw his first smilex of de day..lolz..stupid..tis kind of thing also go notice..lolz..than pei him go cut hair..hmm..nt bad actually..nicer..than went back to his home as he want to bath..than sit at his living room watch tv..wif his sis n bro;..lolz..kids r nt tat easy to deal wif..but i like tis kind of tiring challenge..lolz..likes them alot..than stayed there till 12..walked back to LRT myself..hurx hurx..nvm..than meet up wif Qi-my biaojie..than waited for Ni..biao jie too..haha..sistax ma..lolz..than went to queensway shopping centre to walk walk..bought a bowl of katong laksa..so damn small bowl lo..n it cost $3..wif nt much ingredient n little bee hoon..n de taste is as normal as a $2.50 big bowl laksa..lol..than after tat went back home..dad cooked lunch for us..than went to bath n do my work.while they suft n net..hmm..rather bored..walked in n out..but nvm la..sunday is like tat de..haha..than 7+ went to lto 1 wif them..n went to NTUC to b an AUNTIE..haha..bought tomroo breakfast n other house needed stuff..went home..later goin to slp early le..cause have to wake up to make breakfast tomoro morning..k la..end here le..anyway..great day even if it is quite bored..cause no one will b able to b playing all day long in 365 days..ya..hehex,.anyway.nitex..take care everyone..mid yr is ard de corner le..will b focusing more n more almost whole day on study le..no playing..no shopping,.spendind less time on chatting..had to save money..really no money right now le,..than have to work hard to do well..ya..n less conflict when u tok lesser..haha..anyway..muackz..good luck..blessed..

Yu shian

2007-04-14T21:12:00.000+08:00

GB meetin at 9am..Walked to sch wif li..Had our drill test..for mi is the last stage..stage 3 test..5 ppl takin stage 3 only..we did not tat well..highest is jus 16/28..n i jus passed..14/28..nt the lowest nor i m the higest..haiz..but really have to buck up le..quite disappointed..didnt relaly look carefully at the question n careless mistake..haiz..than had drills..devotion.badgework as usual..sec 1 gals wore the GB blue muffti today..officially becum our small 50th company family le..though only 4..but i believe in their potencial to being the gals up n guide more gals thru..jia you..senior behind supportng u all.as we promised u all..we will definitely go back after we pass out..ya..than had meeting for pulau ubin camp all tat..n those who went last yr ..tis yr will b taggin along n they r being permit to b lack than others during the camp...they can b more relax n watsoeva..but i cant..last yr due to injuring my legs n nt able to participate wif them to pulau ubin..i have to b wif the juniors alone thruout..i was like..kinda..don noe how to sae my feelin la..haiz..than nt tat happy ba..they were there tokin abt stuff like..:"wow.so happy can trick them le..haha.x..still remember tat time we do.bla bla bla..ya..so fun..than tat one so nice to play..bla bla bla..n sort of many other things"..i was like..i feel so extra..i don like the feelin..my anger//my temper came up..raising. n raising..n noe fully well of myself if i were to speak up the nx moment sure gt ppl who is goin to b hurt..definitely..choose to kip quiet n listen to song to cool mi down..i listen to song wheneva something happens..cause it really cool mi down slowly as i nid nt tink so much,.i choose not to ans anyone..i choose nt to look back n continue walkin cause i don wan to confuse myself more..recently i'm like tat..somethings wrong..buddies..friends..sistax..greatly n truly sry..i didnt wan it too..i jus hope to end it sooner or later..i hurtx..really..i relaly cant control..the more i control the more hurt it is giving mi..n the more hate is coming up..i don wan..let mi b..hao ma ? pls don bother mi..i don wan to hurt u all..tks vinz for waiting..n walkin silently by my side while walkin back..noe u r having ur own unhappinest too.but at tat moment i'm sry i relaly cant entertain u..i cant giv u the smiling face..i cant b ur listening ear..at tat moment..sry..but tks for walkin thru wif mi.cheerin mi up by sendin mi ur eh..eh..exploded powder face..lolz..anyway..after tat went home stright..goin no where else..nt even goin out wif them to check on our class t..i really don noe how to face u all..went to bath n slp all the way till 7+ when mummy called home..than cum online..feelin much better le..anyway..tks for being understanding if u all did..sry for wateva i did..don noe how to convince u all..numbered of cases le..nvm..hate mi for wateva u like..i don blame..

N THOSE POINTED GALS..BETTER WATCH WATEVA U ALL SAID..WATEVA ACTION U ALL MADE..DON GO OVER THE LIMIT LO..EBOUGH OF IT LE..WINNING OVER TEACHERS LIKIN..FINE WIF WATEVA U ALL DO..NOT HAPPY WIF US JUS SAE LA..DON WAN TO SPOIL UR IMAGE IN FRONT OF THE JUNIORS IZZIT..STOP IT LA..STUPID..I M NT NICE WIF WORDS FOR THOSE WHO GOES OVER MY LIMIT N STEP HARDLY ON MY HEAD..I'LL MAKE SURE U DROP ON THE FLOOR N BEING SMASH HARDLY..PLS SHOW THE SIMPLEST RESPECT TO US..TIS IS NT THE FIRST TIME LE..I REPEAT MYSELF !! K..ENOUGH IS REALLY ENOUGH..I DON CARE EVEN IF MY JUNIORS IS TO HATE WATEVA I SAID..I DON MIND..BUT WAT I NOE IS I'M STATING N SAYING THE FACT..DON TRY HITTIN ON US WHEN WE R BEING QUIET..WE R JUS ENDURING..REN U ALL..DON TINK WE KIP QUIET N U ALL CAN DO WATEVA SHIT U WAN.K..MAKE TIS CLEAR...I'LL NV LET U ALL HAVE THE CHANCE TO BULLY OUR JUNIOR DE..DON TINK WE DON NOE WAT U ALL DOIN BEHIND THEIR BACK LO..

2007-04-13T20:34:00.000+08:00

Today is Friday 13..heard tat it is a bad Friday..hmm..probably yes ? Probably No ? Morning had house meetin..hmm..today kestrel did a better job ba..sry to give so many comments..i jus wanna enjoy myself on tat day..hope tat day nth will affect my mood..than during art we gt another 3 OHP i tink..than now we don nid to fight over usual of OHP le.haha..total gt 5..yipee..than after tat english were quite tired somehow le..than kip on enduring till recess..than went to the table outside staff room to sit..as usual practice..did my work..thought shirley they all have release..than after awhile..janicia told mi they sitting over the other side,,than asked mi to join them..i was like..i booked exact amt of place for them to sit le..than now they sit over the other side..haiz..than i was like..forget abt it ba..than do my art..after recess is history..hmm..still ok ba..time past very fast..haha.Many thought there is no assembly..n went home..alamak..sure kena on monday de..than we chairpersons also kena..haiz..nvm..than after sch went for English oral..hmm..done qutie well ba..haha..but must practice more..after tat went to help out wif the wrappin of soap which we made n is goin to b sold on sunday..to raise fund as a project n promotion thingy.than went to hall to find vinz..saw him wif the other guys..lolz..fun playing ba..hahax..than after tat do my art n wait for the gals.after tat went to hall together n they played badminton..had fun again..than went lot 1..library.walk.than go home le..bought 2 kit kat..Don like to eat chocolate..relaly don like..very sweett..but bought it to cheer someone up..see him unhappy no like;..see him smile jiu like..mayb to u is nth ba..jus a choco ma..but to mi..hmm..jus hope it cheers u up ba..than send him to taxi stand..rather sad when leaving tat part..haiz..nvm la..

Morning woke up saw ur msg..chinese text..wonderful..sry ytd nite fall aslp while waitin u le..shock to see wat u wrote..sry wor...lolz..anyway..u told mi in advance..i understand..so kip on preventing to let u gettin aggitated..especially during house meetin.but did nth much though,,..sry.than were kinda not tat nice to u..giving u attitude ba..mood was swaving..haiz..felt really bad..cause i noe u very tired n is already tired out n will b having bad mood..n yet i'm giving u the same attitude..i'm sry..i didnt ,mean it..really.i didnt..jus tat recently my mood really cant b control..haiz..kip on wanting to test u on ur patience..don noe y..jus feel like to see whether u will notice my mood change or not or watsoeva..i noe is relaly lame n stupid..but i don noe y..jus will suddenly change without mi controllin..if u were mi u will understand..it is not something u can easily control even though it seems so easy..haiz..i'm greatly sry..but after observation..u really is diferent..haiz..anyway..after sch..went out of sch..giving attitude..making u not happy..leaving u behind..n many many,,hiaz..i did many things to make u unhappy ba,haiz..but i can jus sae..i do it out of my stupid thinking n uncontrollable minds..i don wan de..pls..if u relaly hate it scold mi back for all u wan..hate mi for all u wish..scold mi wateva vulgar u wan..shout at mi..don b nice to mi..i don deserve it when i didnt return one to u..as u said b4..u respect those who respect u..haiz..n mayb u tink i will PS u..i'm sry..i didnt meann it..n i relaly nid time to control n settle well everything..i really cant settle everything at a go..i nid time..to get rid of those stupid actx..thinking..n things n movement tat make u unhappy..but saying the truth might hurt u sometimes..i'm sry..jus hope tellin u de truth is somethin to b glad about as changes n truth open up a better way for us...as we walk thru the path..k..tired le..go slp ba.tomroo st john i bet sure gt something to make u unhappy..if don have jiu shi miracle happen le..lolz..so prepare for it ba..as for the test..nvm..unable to pass or wat..nvm..getting ranks only..to us is definitely fine.to u i don noe la..last yr liao ma..affect not much..jus the face tat matters only ba..right..jia you jiu can le..n tomroo i'mm probably b goin out wif my classmate to go settle my class t thingy n go meet wif wif my 2 biao jie as they ask mi to bring them go buy something..jus inform u first..not confirm yet..than sunday my 3rd biao jie coming mi house so wont b goin out too..might b a boring weekend for u again..natural cycle..nitex lo..Final decision is always up to u..

yu shian..

2007-04-12T21:53:00.000+08:00

Whee..Long time no blog le wor..lolz..kena complain again liao..warning letter came[at the tagboard] or else it willl b pronounce dead soon or later..hahax.

Morning woke up at 5.15 to cook BREAKFAST !!! hahax..for my kor..he goin NS today..so sad..miss him lots..than also make breakfast for myself n him..haha..quite nice wor..lolz..i tink la..than today everyone was early..haha..so happy..no nid to rush to sch..haha..everyone reach interchange b4 7am..haha..than he asked mi to help him do survey..cause don noe who don wan do..than in the end write 1/4 le than sae actually wan ask who who do de..than i was like..ok lo..like tat ar..than liquid away everything n let him go ask them do lo..was kinda..erm...don noe how to sae la..not tat pleasant lo..aiyo..yu shian ah..crazy izzit..over tis kind of small matter..haiyo..silly gal..YA..I also don noe y..haiz..nvm la..quite sensitive ba..nvm..than lessons were alright thruout..during C.E we do de don noe wat thingy..abt international friendship day de thingy,.haha..than we were sepearted into 4 grps..than we were to choose from the 4 question to do one..than i was de first to pt onthe question i wan de lo..hahax..than we were in charge of drawing the 10 ASEAN flags..thought it was easy in the begginning..no lo..nt at all lo..than completed it..tks sheng qin for jumping over from other grp to us n helping us to draw n colour huhx..haha..than slowly more n more ppl came to our grp..complaining their grp very boring.our's more fun.hahax,.wahahaha...than after tat had a break until 3.45pm...during the break..ate our lunch in class..than play n joke ard..started our mock test..thought i will b the only one who will b able to do so less n score badly..but didnt i noe tat shirley did not tat well too...hmm..mayb today only ba..haha..after tat went home to bath..than help kor return his CD at sunshine place..than meet up wif connie.than went lot 1 meet my "darlings"....lolz..than went to sch..went to sit at mr yeo consultation table..haha..means no one is to ask him or seek him for help..hahax..than were qutie fun thruout n learnt lots of things..walked home wif them..went to take cab..oh my goodness..there goes my $5...now even a cent also impt to mi..haiz..how cum i b'cum like tat huh..don noe la.reach home le..bath..very tired le..later goin slp le..vinz not feelin well..cant slp early due to the coursework to b hand in tomoro..jia you ba..no choice,.endure..k la..end here le..

Yu shian..stop being like tat can or not huh.haiyee,..so sickening lo..i hate tat feelin..i relaly hate it lo..ARGH !!!!!

Kor kor..miss u so much,,though is jus the 1st day..but i miss u le..mayb not use to nt seein u at home ba..nvm..2 weeks later can see u le.hehex..muackz..must take care..the most i concern is..pls don cum out smoking.i don wan a smoking brother..ok..pls..muackz..luv u..tc..

Yu shian..

2007-04-02T19:43:00.000+08:00

Woke up 5+ in morning.Make breakfast for my friends..than Dor will b walking wif us to sch from now on..cause of her family thingy..than mrs tay today no cum..so art lesson were doin bible reflection as it is GB project..than p.e also..Mc..were doin the project thing also..than recess also..means i'm doin it for the 1st half of the day..than after recess..maths lesson were ok..like the topic very much cause i noe n understand how to do..than during S.S..heard a shockin n saddening news..felt really heart pain..really depressed..confused mind..don even have the strength to tink of anything..than the whole history lesson my mind were in a blank..haiz..than when waiting outside my class to go in..i cant bear wif it anymore..i cried...cried badly..really badly,.,li they all bought mi to the toilet..than i cried my hearts out..really very very pain n xin ku..been bearin wif it for damn long le..really very long le..pretend everything nv happen b4..it is relaly difficult..than missed a english period..than 2nd period than go back class..than sry ping dor n li..for missing lesson..tks for being by mi..really tks..as miss lai said..i m lucky to have u tis bunch of friends..jia jun..tks for asking mi how i m feelin le..after sch waited for ping to finish her detention..than went to watch the guys play soccer..than jun kai was hurt by nigel..nigel also hurt too..lolz..games r like tat de la..hurtin here n there..if no hurt jiu is not game le..after tat went to lot 1 walk ard,bought present for my biao jie n daddy as tomoro is their b'dae..than went home le..clarified the matter..ya,,broken heart..i feel hurt,.seriously..knew tat saying out will hurt another..but i'm sry..as wat others sae..tok to the person involved to get cleared to the matter n tok it out..don bottle it up to make urself so xin ku..ya..i have a confused mind..feel like avoiding every single one..but i noe avoiding cant solve anything..will b quite quiet from now on..have to take time to simmer down..let time take the course..
In the end..i'm still left wif who ? i m not sure..i jus wan to treasure wat i have now..hope no one will leave again..too much is leavin mi le..
Many thoughts r hidden..Don noe how to express out..felt relaly xin ku..words r really restricted..

2007-03-31T21:17:00.000+08:00

GALS !! We did it..Well Done..we got bronze for the competition..yipee..after the hard work putted in..though time might b limited.short..but we did it..we nv gt any awards for all the competition..1st time n it will nv b the last time..jia you oh..we r goin to march in A&D..b prepared oh..muackz..Keep It Up..

2007-03-31T20:06:00.000+08:00

http://www.findyourfate.com/deathmeter/deathmtr.html

Wanna noe ur death date ? wanna noe ur fate ? Go tis website..haha..its fun.jia you..might b lame..but nth to do la.haha..believe it or not..try it ba..^_^

My date of departure stated is : 14 july 2073 - 83 yrs old..hahax..

2007-03-31T19:56:00.000+08:00

You are longing for some love and affection at this time - not that you have been deprived of tender loving care - but there are times when everyone needs to try something new or to go 'somewhere' else to perhaps experience that little extra 'understanding'.

For some time now you have been feeling rather insecure. You are looking for - and needing - an environment that can offer you roots, stability and a position that will relieve you of excess tension and stress.

Nothing seems to be going right for you and you are thwarted every way you turn. You are not at all happy with the situation but it would appear that there is very little that you can do about it at this time. Sit back and let the situation take its course, because at this time you feel that there is nothing you can do to change whatever needs to be changed.

You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.

You don't like conflict and you endeavour to avoid criticism. You want to do your own thing and to be able to decide what is right for you. You have considerable personable charm - and this is used with considerable effect on those that keep your company.

--Its very true to mi..wat bout u ? Go try it..Good luck--
http://www.paulgoldinresearch.com/cg/index.htm

2007-03-31T18:26:00.000+08:00

Will i b regretting in wat i said out to u ytd? Will u b scare of mi ? Will it b a exploded bomb to us ? after tellin u..i've been blaming myself stupid..cant jus shut my mouth up..cant i jus lock it in my brain..haiz..but i jus have the urge to tell u.i don wan to cold war for so long n in the end u still don get wat exatly happens to mi..haiz..jus now after Gb..mi.shirley n dor went to seng siong..n after tat walked to bukit panjang..on the way thought of last time when we went there..the same route yet different ppl..than when walking round Bp..don noe y u kip flashin in my mind..mayb too close le ba..u jus live nearby..bluetooth too strong n is connected easily.lolz..than kip on tink..the whole day u no contact mi..izzit i hurt u again wif the truth ? izzit i m too much ? izzit u don wan to bother mi anymore ? Have u eaten ? R u alright.. i m not trying to control u.u understand ? stuff n stuff..haiz..mayb u r already my eevryday practice ba..haiz..blamin myself..really..y m i so sensitive..so easily jealous even though the other parties is jus ur buddy..haiz.many thoughts run thru my mind tis few days..jus afraid losing u tis gd buddy..haiz..even if to let go also impossible le..but wat i have to sae i already said..u have already mature much..hope u understand..other than tat..it is up to u if were to remain n go on as who u r or either tink thru n try to change into a better u,,.u r already great nt saying u no gd..but everyone nids improvement to get to the end which is the PERFECTION..mi too..changing to a better one everyday when my friend n i sit downs n tok things out n change each other..sometimes..frank words might b very hurtin sometimes..but if ppl have the courage to sae it out..than tink thru it..cause they have to spend times to consider to whether to sae out or not..n if u tink is possible..change it..ppl will nv regret having saying out n will treasure u tis friend..cause they will tink tat u r willing to listen to other comment..n will b the star of eveyrone..wats the strenght of we tis few friends to b together for so long is tat we took long times to communiacte n tok things n bad points out to each other..though will angry..but we will think thru out n change slowly..n believe we did it out of everyone gd..no harm btw..anyway..goes to eveyrone..true friends relaly will meet jus once in the wholelife.n is ur responsibility to kip it by ur side..I have no regret knowin u guys.. n U..take care..sry if i were to hurt u.

2007-03-31T17:29:00.000+08:00

Mornin woke up at abt 7.Went to prepare GB thingy..than shirley was late again..argh!we came up wif a plan..if 1st time late,she will give $1..2nd time..treat a packet of french fries..3rd time..a set meal..4th time..swensen or any place n order wateva we like to eat..haha..than during gb..went to do creative drills for videoing n takin photo in full u..than after tat went to change out..help the sec1 get try on their attire size..than 1 of the gals wanted to quit..but in the end..after being persuaded by the 3 sec 5..haha..than she stayed..haha..so happy..a cute gal she is..than i really don noe wat the sec 4 is thinking lo..
1st : When the sec1 gals said she wan to quit..did u all persuaded her to stay on ?Did u all tok to her ? did u all ask her wats the reason n tok things out ? NO..u all didnt..nvm..
2nd : After we persuaded her to stayed..n when we returned to the room..n i interuppted n asked can we let her try out her attire in the room ? n the reply back to mi is:"HUH..i thought she wan to quit ? [N gave a black face]" wats is tis man ! we jus expected a ans: "Oh really..sure..welcome..[n wif a smile]" But jus wat attitude u all have given..u noe how will tat person feel when she heard tat..put urself in other shoes..Gb is getting smaller n lesser..n u all r not even trying to save it..everytime jus stick to urself n the ppl who u all likes..
3rd : Can u all show some respect to us..though we r the same rank..n u sec4 have higer position than us..does it mean u all can step over us ? answering back in attitude when we suggested something..n tok back nicely when the others sec4 friends suggest..wat is tis..shirley jus tok to u all nicely n u all jus pretend didnt hear..don care..we r jus sitting beside u lo..even miss leong sitting at the back also can hear lo..
4th : N a particular gal ! pls hor..when miss leong sae the passin down of leadership..than she sae the whole company squad will b re-shuffled..than she said the 3 sec5 will b seperated as usual in different groups..than the sec 4 will b also arrange by her..than u all said :"aiyo..don wan la..we want to dicide on ourself..we wan to arrange ourself..bla bla bla"..than shirley said:"wow..sec5 nv sae anything u all still argue so much.."n wat tat GAL said:"u all sec5 3 person only ma !!" so wat ?sec5 not ppl la..not consider inside GB la ? only sec4 rules the whole world la..only u all gt the right to tok la..
5th : don eva giv us attitude..enough of it lo..wheneva u all not in good mood..u all can jus shout at ppl jus like releasin stress n anger on everyone..n eveyrone have to b obedient to listen to u guys..we r not dogs lo..we have out limit too de lo..nt good mood is ur own problem..nt happy either tok to ur friends..vent it at ur friends..or go bang the wall..DON eva try venting at us anymore..enough of it le lo..not first time lo..jus don noe wat excatly ahd happen after passin down to u guys..all is in a chaos;..only noe how to scold..vent anger..wats the point of rasing ur voice n nth changes is made,, n wont b up to any help ?
6th: Every time ask we all not to b late..n u all late urself..is tis the sense of urgency u all shld b doin..ya..everytime when we sec5 have something on before any GB meetin n will b late..n u all sae we sec5 r always excused..always no nid come or come late..n not serious in anything..Don even sae others when u all cant even manage to control ur own self timing..RIDICULOUS..wans us to fall in punctually...the least u all shld do is at least open up the GB door 5-10 min earlier ma..to let us put our bags n settled ourself down n prepare to fall in n start the whole activity..but did u all do tat ? no..than after tat..dilly dally,.take ur own sweet time moving here n there..in the end start punishin ppl when u urself take ur own time..blaming others.wat the lo..haiz..nvm.

Many things we sec5 jus see n kip in our heart..saying it out will hurt u all..n bring unhappinest..so we decided not..but the longer it is..the more guo fen u all get..tell u all tis..we sec5 dont deserve it..others lvl thought said nth but they also don deserve it..we have been under u all for almost 2 yrs le..its enough for us to bear wif it so long le..pls wake up ur idea k..don ink we all everytime jus quietly let u all scold n push ard means we cant feel anything or hao qi fu lo..make it clear..u all may sae we can jus don go if we don liike it..ya..true..but b'cos of the teacher..the promise we gave mdm..n pastor..we will fulfill it..we will nv let the GB fall jus like tat..our PROMISE ..telling mysely to bear n ren wif it for jus a few more while..it will b over soon..better don regret.. !! How u treat others..others will treat u all back the same..remeber tis..

2007-03-29T20:06:00.000+08:00

No secret between us..Promised..alright..but i relaly don noe how to tell u how i felt..cause i don noe how u will react when u knew abt it..avoid ? retreat ? step back ? go as far as possible ? or best not to have any contact ? haiz..i don noe..feel really confused n vex..Ya..I'm jealous..wheneva i see u n others so close i m jealous..jealous not b'cos i like u..but b'cos of a unknown feelin in mi..i jus don like it..mayb not use to it when seeing a guy behaving so closely to a normal girl friend..u can sae i m sensitive..i m petty..i tink too much..n is scary..but wat i can sae is the truth feelin from mi..i feel so xin ku kiping in my heart..i don noe who to turn to..no one wil understand wat i excatly wans to express out..i also cant express much..i don really noe how to..wheneva i see those senerio..i jus pretend i saw nth..i jus pretend nth happen..jus smilex n walk on without turning back.i scare when i turn back i will see something unexpected..which makes mi hurt..ya..wat u said b4 might b rite..being relationship wif mi might nid a lot of courage..n real luv put in..n wif a over sensitive.attitude gf..no gd living life..ppl change..will i change b'cos of u..? i don noe..didnt have much conversation btw u n mi today..i don noe how to tok to u,..my mind is split to 2 parts..evil n angel..evil asked mi to stand strong n maintain ur thoughts..let tis b the chance to see if he notice n understand ur feelin..thoughts..n knows wat excatly wat to do not..while the angel sae..go on..tok to him..b nice n gentle..forgive n forget everything..nth is impossible..go on..haiz..with tis 2..i really don noe wat to do..everyone might sae he is jus ur best friend..best buddies..best partners..but will it b one sided ? did he really treat u as how u treat him ? r u really his best friend ? ur best buddies ? ur best partners ? tats wat others ask..n without any consent,..i jus replied..yes.definitely is..even if it were to b a lie towards myself..i might also b contented..jus wanna b selfish..kip u by mi..cause when i noe u r close to someone else..wat it came to my mind is jus:"will he goes to others ? will he leave? will he still b by mi?supportin? guiding ?"..i don noe..y y y ? i also don wish it to happen..wat i cld do is jus restrictin myself from any moves.. U grown up le..i noe u understand sometimes..tats y everyone is being more open to u ba..

Didnt really look at u face to face..cause i scare to face u..i don dare to see ur face expression..i scare i might cry..i feel hurt..guilty..when my heart don wan u to b alone as promised..but i feel like putting on a temper to tell u i m angry wif something..n hope u wld jus step forward n console mi..haiz..noe u might nt b good in speakin ba..nvm ..i don noe la..wheneva i cried is b'cos i cant take it anymore..sometimes when u feel like crying despite nth happens..jus cry it out..it is b'cos everything stored too long in ur heart is already numb n no more hurt is noticed..but emotion is still there to b vented out..so crying is really gd..now many might sae i m not strong enough to hold back my tears n cry silently..i might nt control my own tears n moods..wanted attention or wat so eva..nvm..by all means go n sae ba.. i jus wan to express out my feelin at the particular moments..so no more tears to b kept on..feel really better..haiz..

Went to dor house do project..when walked out of lot 1,u said u goin home..wat i get from shirley they all is..huhx?how come so strange de ? thought he will b coming along wif us..yet he is so sensible to go home instead of following..they felt guilty..feel like neglecting u..yup..tats true..nvm..its over..anyway..today were quite alright ba..jus really feel the hurt..really painful..restricting myself from doin the normal daily life actions..haiz..pls..come ot mi..help mi..tell mi wat i shld do..haiz..

I says wat i wan to sae..i express my OWN feelin..being nice..if don like wat is written u may choose to leave anytime..choose to hate mi any moment..jus nv able to stop how i feel..n remember..don make use of mi to get a motive done..nv eva..don treat mi so gd jus b'cos of a hurting reason..pls leave if u have no confidence to deal wif a stubborn n attitude gal like mi..don tink u noe everything abt mi when u don noe anything..don eva judge mi on how i look n behave..look thru my heart...Leaving mi wif some fresh air breathing for some times..time will prove everything to mi n everyone.lub u all lots..B TRUE TO MI !!!

Seprating slowly..My heart Dropped to the end of the sea..I cld understand how u felt.as we r goin thru the same process..Do u feel the hurt too ? Sometimes i relaly wish i cld b ur cells livin inside u..knowing wat i happening..how u feel..haiz..

Shian Always..

2007-03-27T19:40:00.000+08:00

Long time no blog le..being asked to update by my sistax de lo..haha..no la..too busy n many problems occur n don have mood to update..anyway..here i m again..haha..

Ytd sch were alright..quite fun..felt the happinest when u noe how to release n let go of the problems in ur heart..i told myself..when in sch..all i shld care n concern is my studies..if friends r in nid they can find mi anytime...i'll help..but i shan care too much abt all those difficult n irritating problems goin round..it not only takes up my time..use up my brain cells..also affects my studies..wat for when the consequence is so bad..isnt it..haha..than after sch i'm damn hungry lo,,.in english class i was writing food names on a piece of paper..so hungry lo..than after sch went to lot 1 eat pizza wif vinz..dor..li..ping..serene n valerie..EXTRA ppl involve...but nvm..anyway pizza hut is not i open de ma..than hab fun..than after tat went walk walk jiu go home le..dor is quite stress up abt some friendship prob..but she say out jiu feel better le..so all settled..haha..she is understanding..friends will always b friends so long as heart is always there..ya ?! haha..than reach home le..very tired..but bo bian have to do housework..do my homework..than look after my mummy..she is sickk..haiz..very long le..hope she recover soon..than at nite daddy on air con she don wan slp air con jiu slp in the living room sofa..omg..sure back pain de ma..than took out a chuang dan n her blanket n pillow gib her slp..than the whole nite i pei her by her side..i slept on the floor...very xin ku lo...more worst than goin to a camp n slp in a sleeping bag lo..lolz..than cant really go to slp..than mummy kip coughing.than i kip on wake up..scare she xin ku or nid anything..haiz..overall didnt really had a gd slp..than 3+ than go slp..

today morning 5.30 jiu wake up le..made breakfast for my buiddies n sistax..haiz..very tired..but no choice..promised le..than go sch le nor...Very tired..noe my mood will b bad..but controlled..so still ok..haha..than classes were fine..quite tired sometimes ba..than went for morning run..haha./pei shirley..knew very well i cant do any exercise anymore..as the advice from doctor..or else my skin will become really worst..even a doctor cant even notify wats wrong..only can gib mi medicine to maintain..n the proffesional skin care doctor also have nth to do n don noe wat is excatly the problem of my skin..haiz..he still sae cant recover so fast de..hab to observe..haiz..relaly sad n depressed..but can do nth..haiz..but pei shirley run cause i don wan her to run alone..cause sec 5 girls almost all no run..haiz..than ytd 2.4 also pei shirley run..in order to let her pass..at least i run behind her she will feel more relax as she noe someone behind is slower than her..happy for her cause she passed..beared wif my pain n run thru...haiz..really pain..its relaly hurt alot..it is like thousands of needle poking into the back of ur skin...haiz..getting from bad to worst..tats y i always shun away when my friends wants to hit on my back..we r use to it..but jus can bear wif it when being hitted on..some firends even hit so hard till the blood stain on my uniform..hiaz.today also..my back of my uniform is covered wif little n little patch of bloods..i hate it..i don wan my friend to b scare of mi..though is jus skin problem..but i relaly scare my friend will scare of mi when blood start coming out..than kena my shirt..all those stupid thing la..my friend wil definitely b scare tio if they were to see my wounds..hiaz..but friends..don worry la..it will not b spread..it is not a disease...k..i cant do anything too..wat i cld do is jus to bear wif it n telling myslef n others its alright..not pain not pain..hiaz..God..pls let my skin problem b settled soon..i really cant afford to bear wif the painess..it really hurt..sometimes i jus wish my skin cld b change into a smooth n nice skin jus like the others..than no worried made..haiz..especially when the water touches it..i cld hardly scream out..
haiz..so friends..i m excuse from pe..i'll try my best to pei u all to all the exercise u all wans to do..even if ppl were to shun away from mi after lnowing bout my skin problem..i would accept it..i will not b surprise..cause its normal..very less ppl can really understand n accept the skin..its too..eee..nvm la..let nature take it course..ya.cheers..

after sch went for luinch than went for art Ip..till 5+..than go home le..now goin to find reseach pic for my art..than go do my work..jiu go slp le..very tired..everyone take care ya..oh ya..hope the bread i made for my buddies is not tat bad..nice ba..haha..more to come..lolz..

sistax..happy le ba..updated le wor..haha..k la..go do my work le..chat again oh..muackz..

Tks vinz for helping mi find the song n sent mi..tks..

Shian Always..

2007-03-16T10:33:00.000+08:00

I cried ytd nite..feel really xin ku..i really cant control.. even if i m big in size but my inner heart is fragilecant even take up jus a little blow..All i do is jus giving my friends trouble..wateva i do will somehow affect my friends ard mi..i'm sry..nt only u all feel hurt..mi too..cause all started b'cos of mi..wheneva things happen i jus feel so lousy..i can do nth,..but the one who started all is mi..yet i could do nth but jus cry..many words in my heart..my mind..i don noe how to express it out..i really feel xin ku..ya..wat he sae is right..everytime the things i do,he will tio..mayb i really did wrong since the beginning..but i really don noe wat to do..how to treat everything equally ? i don noe..all i noe..all i cld do is jus protect n protect..i noe u wont wan it..but i jus don noe y..mayb tats fate..i try all means to kip every friends by my side..even i can b'cos of friends n kena everything..all silent action..no one noes..i really don wan my friend b'cos of mi than quarrel again..history start repeating..tats y i hate it..y does it have to b mi everytime to make a chaoz in my friendship n involve so many ppl..i really don noe wat is right n wat is wrong now..i don noe..i don noe anything..i m so confuse...jus wat had happen..argh,..my head hurtx now..ya,,everyime i only noticee i hurtx someone after the hurt is gone..ya..indeed..all i wish nth has been startted..i m slow..i m stupid..i can always help others yet i don noe how to settle problems myself..wateva i do is jus bullshit..wat ppl doesnt wan..Hurtx n more HURTX..sry to invovle u all..stupid mind stupid thinking..wat to do from now on ? hack care everything..let everything happen on its own..wateva thinking jus kip it to myself..as i noe wateva things happen jus will afffect n hurt others when said out..kip it to myself..hurt myself..if feel xin ku..cry..than go slp n another day is here..forgive n forget eevrything..let bygones b bygones..today will b the start of everything...ppl..hate mi for all i care..hate mi pls..hate mi....i can nv stop the hate from anyone anybody..i'll understand if u all did hhate mi..cause i simply bring unhappinest to u guys..really..i understand..mayb i'll feel much better if u guys hate mi..pls don cum close to mi if u wan no hurtx..pls..i beg u..don let mi have another chance to hurtx u,,i don wan ..i shall b the only one..living on my ownself..tinking for myself..being selfish..protecting myself..i relaly don wan another hurt n make a chaoz in my friends friendship..i don wan..all i wan is peace n harmony btw friends..i don wan history to repeat..pls..protect her..she nids love n care too..gave her her apology ytd le..charmaine.sry for wateva thigns tt occur..no one will eva hurt u again..bless u..vincent..i'm sry..even though sry can cure nth now..its too late..but nvm..one last sincere sry to u..sry....

Let it b..move on...a gal tat needs reflection le..did too much wrong things..unforgivable..nv forgive mi when i cant even forgive myself..let mi b..tat is mi..a gal who makes the worls turns upside down..n cant even turn it back to the original place..eveyrone..stop it..for those who care abt mi.pls..i noe..i can feel the care n love from u all..but pls..any comment jus kip it to urself..for tis matter,.let it cum to an end,..let everyone hate stop..pls..don b'cos of mi n u all get into quarrels n cold war again..i beg u..beg everyone..no one is blame to b in wrong tis time..is mi who start it..if i did tok to qw..nth wil happen..sry everyone..

Hurtx..HuRtX..HURTX !!! ARGH....
y cant i jus make things right for jus one time ?!?!?! aint i stupid..goodness..
tats the punishment i get ba..wats de point of acting everythings gonna b alright when u now fully well disaster is coming ur way..mayb jus to act blur till the last moment..last sec b4 eevry bad things happen ba..jus wna to enjoy wif u till the last moment..
telling myself everything..smilex thru n nths gonna b unsolve..everything wil cum to an end..

I knew it..nv will us b together 4eva..nv..tks for u reminding mi.."Hold tight n Never let go"..such a wonderful phrase..a promise..a vow being said..n it will b gone soon..hope i wish i cld turn the time back when nth starts happenin n grab hold on ur hand for as long as i cld..u giv mi the warmth..the strength to carry on..but no more for now..no more eva..facing all the consequences..tink n tink..gone...

2007-03-15T20:14:00.000+08:00

Ytd went to udnerwater world in sentosa..took 188 there..on the way it was rather fun n happy..than reach there..than found out gt so many colour de bus to take to different location..than took yellow..than blue than red..i tink if i not rong..than went to bought tickets into underwater world..$19.50..wat a bomb..but nvm..it has been ages since i last went there..than all i thought is to enjoy there in order not to waste money..than went to see those sharks..jellyfish..n BIG turtles..than a man told us to take a pic as a ji nian..than still sae FREE de..than in the end when we about to walk out he told us to go see the 2 photo..than choose one n can make into watsoeva thingy..than i immediately shoot..i thought jus now u sae is free....than he no reply..duhx.nvm..than charmaine wanted to make into a keychain..than 1 for $12..2 of $15,,so i pei her make one lo..than after tat than knew we already missed the 3+ show at dolphin lagoon..than haev to wait for another round which is in 5+..as we nid about half n hrs to travel from underwater world to dolphine lagoon..than went to delifrances..after tat went to find cai hui they all at siloso beach..cai hui..rui fen..lela n mustakim is there to picnic n relax..than startin thought to go there meet up for awhile since there is stil time to travel to dolphin lagoon..than in the end ended up playing there..i sitted at the beach..thinking wats goin on..wheneva things occur wat i could do i either to cry than slp n forget..or sit down alone n tink thru..than they bought beers...drank some..sitted there for qutie long time..all i could hear is laughter n happinest..which made mi thinks tat nth is to worry about with the laughter always ard..tks to cai hui who taught mi many things..knew the strong friendship btw ming jie n her..even thought normally ppl tense to see their friendship is like so de funny lo..like not tat gd..but then i jus realise tat their bondin is really strong..they tok things out..cai hui..i relaly don have ur courage.we 2 n u 2 de friendship is totally different..haiz..i realy don noe..the more i sae the more i hurt him..n hurt myself..wat to do wat to do wat to do !!!!! argh..don noe la.aftter tat went to vivo city to hab dinner..raining heavily..than went to walk ard jiu go back le..been scolded.nt tat happy too..sry,..all i cld do is to act..no matter wat..tks for the day to everyone..

..How i wish we cld hold on a little more longer before all the disaster drop on us..

..No point saying sry when things already happen right in front of ur eyes..Agree ?! yup..
..All i cld do now is to tink how to improve on..watto do when things like tis occur again..

Cutted short alot..don noe how to continue writting out..wat to do..jus to tink..

2007-03-13T18:51:00.000+08:00

Went to meet up dor n ping at cck interchange.than li board the bus at her busstop..took 190 to far east..than went to walk..nth much de lo..many shops don noe is not open or closed down le..lolz..than walked to wisma atrium..takashimaya..than went to shop ard..li they all went to find their breadtalk manager..than after tat went to bought many things to eat..dor they all go buy corn hotdog..damn big lo..$1.50 only..lol.than ping bought bacon..than also ate tori-Q chicken..haha..than went to eat ajisen..mi n dor shared a set..tom yum ramen n the side dish is dumpling..than li n ping shared..chicken teriyaki ramen n side dish is fried prawn..haha.in the end each person only pays $5+ for ajisen..haha..than wrote suggestion..i dislike the manager there b'cos of wat she did n how she treat mi for the day i went there to work..jus one day is jus like suffering in hell..than now i left ajisen le..its time for revenge..haha.. no la..than all the suggestion abt the manager is qutie nasty..lolz..but we wrote the staff there is perfectly fine..haha..she will b damn angry when she sees it..might also jus tear it away..haha..nvm..than after tat bought double scoop ice cream cone..than bought double cheese hotdog..than after tat walked out n go to the heeren..[tink is spelled like tat ba..don noe haha..don really notice the name..=p] than went shop ard..took neopriint..than they wanted to make into badges..than ok lo..suit them lo..thruout i was quite quite ba..cause tired le..than headace..than went to take 190 back to cck le..somehow somewhere it is really enjoying..took lots n lots of pic..in bus..in toilet..in shopping malls..in restaurant..though might b lame but it is really memorable..n fun.,..nv will i forget..too long since the 4 of us last went out tgether..hope to have tis chance again..really hab fun wif u gals today..muack..lurb..

Yu shian..

2007-03-13T11:22:00.000+08:00

Morning woke up at 6.30 than went to bath..ate breakfast..than went to sch le..hab maths Ip from 8 to 9.30,.we started late than end early..haha..only 1 hrs of ip..lolz..than learn new things again..yipee..slowly i can absorb le ba..hope i really can buck up on my maths..cause nursing nids maths..than after tat pei li they all go minimart buy things than go home le..than prepared le..now goin out again..cause ping jio us out..she sae we 4 hardly goes out toegther when she start to date wif jie ming..n when we have some friendship prob..so tis time round we r goin out to gain back our friendshipness..hope we have a fun day n time together..D.SKY 4 life..blog again when i come home..

Jux SmileX n everythings gonna b alright...
yu shian..

2007-03-12T22:18:00.000+08:00

Today woke up early jus for maths ip..thought is 8.30..but in the end when goin to sch than receive call saying is 10 to 11.30..sian diao lo..than went to limbang mac..waste time there..than most classmate is there lo..than after tat went back to sch.than knew tat mr ang mix up the timing tha gave the wrong timing..it is for 3A..than many ppl jus go home..cause of the change in timing,,than mr yeo quite sad n angry ba..nvml..thna learn new thing..quite great tat i understood..than went to english ip wif dor..than practice for the oral too.tks their teacher for teachin mi too..even though i nt her student..than waited for li..ping n vin..peng.than went to lot 1 to eat in food court..than went to walk ard..than pei vinz go eat..than jiu go home le..than reach home pack things for tomroo..do housework..watch tv..than goin slp le..heard tat dor they all goin out tomoro..they sae having aDSKY outing tomoro..see first ba..long time sionce the 4 of us go out together...yipee..quite happy ba..hope i can join u all tomoro..see u gals lo..muackz..

2007-03-12T18:30:00.000+08:00

Long time no blog le..due to too many things happen..friends..families..n quite stress over work..therefore personal mood affected..

On 10 & 11 march..went for drills camp in sch..2 days 1 nite..wake up very early..Fall in at 8 in the morning in Full U..than started drills..devotion..service.short period of time only,..than drills..lunch..drillss..dinner..than drills again..than until nite..we r really tired n no much energy left le..but still nid endure..than at the end kip on encouraging each other..than we really made it..we really improved our drills very much within tis 2 days..relaly impress..even normal basic drills we nid a few mths lo..but shock cause the other cca r all havin their camp too..except st john..haha..everyone is askin..st john not having camp ar..st john not having camp ar..lolz..than if they gt camp too than we r really having a combine camp le..haha..but doin own things la..but also fun lo..than thru out the camp all happinest though tired..gain many..saw the unity in our gals..really great to hab u gals ard..though we might not have much recruits..but nvm..so long as we stay unite..let those who quited gb get jealous one day when we gals start building up..than 1st day after lunch mi dor n li went out of sch cause they both forget to take something,..haha..than go home lo..than i go back wif shirley cause nth to do..everyone noes we 3 cant b sepearted de ma..haha..than peter n jun kai damn funny lo..everytime tryin to di siao us.lolz..but had great fun..still ask us to go out have supper at limbang..lolz..we kena caught sure die ar..nx time ba..lolz..than at nite tok to miss leong bout my studies especially my maths..than she said she wil help mi out no matter wat..tks..relaly..she even gave mi a stack of info about nursing courses the 2nd day..i was shock.late in the nite she is still searching in the net about the nursing course in poly..than she sae she will no matter wat help mi wif my maths till i get at least a pass or a B3 or 4..than i was rather touch..tks..i didnt ask her to help mi check out..i merely jus told her when she ask mi wat course i wanted..tks u..relaly..i promise to do well..k..

Than the 2nd day is pastor ben's b'dae..than gave him a box of choco..n sang him a b'dae song.he is also tired out..he had been preparing n planning forour competition long time agoo despite he still nids to work..tks.than tis camp makes him lost his voice..we r competing over others cca voice..he nids to shout in order to let us hear him..sry..but tks..than morning fall in at 8..than ate breakfast..than all the way drills..till 1.30..than it was damn hot tat day..than pastor ask us to fill up our cup.than drink it up..than the 2nd round of cup water..is to put over our head n when he counts 1 to 3..than we hab to overturn our cup n let the water splash on us..than we were all shock lo..than ncc..BB all were in the canteen n they were resting..diaox lo..everyone is looking at us.but it is really greatn shiok..so cool lo..cold water splash on a hot day..lozl.but when we start marching..my shirt dry up very fast cause the sun is far too hot..but still ok la..than the 3rd time is to pour the water on our face..;lolz..than the sun too hot le..we all kena sun burnt..than hurt my hands..my palms there..my junior march n hit on my hand cause her timing is wrong..haiz..relaly huts..blueblack le..very palm..swollen ytd nite..hiaz..nvm la..over le..than go home still thought of goin out..but cant le..cause relaly too tired le..somemore i didnt have a gd rest in the nite..than is too tired out le..relaly...cant imagine de..than go home le..straight away bath le jiu fall aslp on bed le..too tired le..than till nite than wake up [pack mi thing for the nx day ip coaching..than go back slp again..too tired le..but really had a nice camp..really..tks everyone..gals..having competition for tis sat n nx sat..we can do it de..jia you ok ?! we can de..let not waste all our effort for the fast mths..put in our best..jia you..luv u gals..endure thru together..without u than it is equal to without mi....=)..

2007-03-02T17:12:00.000+08:00

Sry for the delay update..many things happen in my house n ard mi..sry..so no mood to update..

Ytd..sch were ok ba..quite enjoy ?! lolz..forget le..than after sch dor,li,vinz came mi house to practice sing song for the competition nx day..haha..than practice practice in the end were playing..listenin n singing other song..lolz..but still gt practice la..than cooked noodles to eat..haha..so fun when we were eating together..than li sae we were like a bunch of friends living together..under one roof..haha..than after tat vinz took one cab home..li took one cab home..haha..than dor took bus..but in the end failed..lolz..she went up the bus than tap le than realise no money inside..than she came down the bus n shouted my name so loud lo..i jus walk not far yet..haha..than i was laughing all the way when she told mi tat..lolz..than her expression damn funny lo..lolz..than after tat she walked back home..i go home than bath..prepare my thing for nx day..than online..chatting while doin my work..haha..than those who r taking F&N r piaing thier corsework.haha..all so hardworking lo..AT THE LAST MINUTE !!hhaa..no la..anyway..than waited for vinz to complete his coursework liao than go slp..

As for today..hmm..okok la..morning sry if i said wrong things ba..i was jus playing..nv expect to affect u tat much..cause li they all use to it le thought u too..but sry..than after tat lesson were ok la..haha..

During recess..dor n li went to compete in the kranji idol..u all did well..dor..though u r very nervous n made mistake but u did well..u r alreadyvery great as u dare to take the first step out to take part n stand on there to sing..not many have the courage jus to stand there..so u really did very well..li u too..nice voice..even if we were not able to go into the nx round.nvm..at least u all tried b4..no more regrets..k..there r still other dreams to b fulfill ba..lets go..haha..jia you..kip it up..u all did relaly great,,luv u guys..mauckz..

After reces.s.the whole sec 5..were split into half than half walk the p.e room staircase there up to 3rd floor..than hald walk the art room there go ip 3rd floor..cause the teacher who offened we sec 5..he is too much le..use tat kind of language n words..than the whole lot of sec 5 wans to go against him..haha..than everyone was making a din when walking pass..damn funnny lo..haha..if he nx week come to our class to take over mr yeo maths class..tink he will die ba..haha..don noe la..anyway..really saw the TEAM SPIRIT of sec 5NA le..lolz..when anyone from us gets into trouble..tats wat the whole lot sec 5 will do..ya,haha..don offend us then..haha..

Than after sch waited for li n dor to finish their english IP coaching..than after tat actually wan go eat pizza de..but too many ppl le..than go eat kfc as dor wan to eat so much..haha..than after tat they go home than i go kranji meet my mum..than meet wif biao jie there.than go shop shop first..than heard tat someone jump off the track n the train will b stopped for about 1 hrs..haiz..than no train to n fro..so stuck..than mummy happen to b in the train..haiyo..than bo bian..wiated awhile than got the shuttle bus for them to go to their destiniation..haiyo..than waited qutie sometime..but bo bian..who ask tat person choose to jump at tis period of time..lozl..than after tat i went home le..they went malaysia le..than recieved a call from aunt..heard tat grandpa sickness worsten le..haiz..somehow regret not goin back wif them..haiz..even if i stayed..i also wont have the mood to do other things..tomoro training sure many mistake here n there de..haiz..no choice la..

god..pls bless my grandpa..pls..i'm already trying to press the pressure i'm having everyday le..smiling n smiling..which hopes to get the smile back from my grandpa too..pls..i jus hope if everyday i'm smiling..my grandpa will b doin the same..pls..i m facing much problems recently..all i cld do is jus to kip on smiling n telling myself nth is difficult to pass by if i kip on smiling..hiaz..but somehow really xin ku..all i cld do is to smile n not frown..cause i noe it will affect others n myself..haiz..god..pls..bless everyone..especially my grandpa..i don wan anythuing to happen to him..he suffered enough le..pls..`^`..

I nid a break somehow too..haiz..sry friends if i did anything wrong..n as for u.take care ba..don eat too much panadol..will not take effect again when u really nids it..if u really cannot tahan liao than take..k..take care anyway..cheer uo if u r unhappy..try to..nths impossible..everyione have their unhappinest..n can overcome it,.u too..jia you ba,..

Signing off..Yu shian..

2007-02-26T21:14:00.000+08:00

Today most ppl were in not tat gd mood ba..but anyway..is dor's 17th b'dae.happy birthday.haha..though tis yr ur b'dae might not is the way u wanted..but no worries..no matter how..we're still there..kz..than lessons were ok..jus tat until the later part very tired..than after sch went back class to put a book.than saw my table had quite many rubbish[to mi la]..i hate ppl who anyhow throw rubbish draw on my table..i hate it..than i was like asking who is the one who sit there..than tat indian black guy..don noe wat isatan or iskanta..don noe how to spell la..don even feel like noticing lo..than anyhow shout at mi..it is my class,.i have the right to speak lo..who r u..jus a freak..anyhow tok..don tink u black jiu can anyhow bully ppl hor..u wan bully ppl u at ntie than cum out bully la..daytime better not lo..easily spotted lo..hiaz..than were so angry when get said without his business concern..somemore my mood is very worst le..than he still add to my anger..of course kena la..haiz..friends..sry huh..i don mean to scold cb de..cause when i damn angry i don even noe wat i scolding..it came out without goin thru my brain de.sry lei..haiz..gonna change another thing le..haiz..than after tat went to foyer..meet dor n li..than were angry till a few drops of tears drop down..haiz..than after tat went to lot 1 eat pizza wif wen n dor..as a form of celebrating her b'dae at the actual day..haha..than after tat they went home..than i rushed back to sch..i mean i waited for vinz under the block..i was all wet..n cold..than the wind kip blowing..i was already dry by the time vinz appear..lolz..than after tat walked to lot 1 than pei him go suki eat..than gt coupon !!yipee..wahhaha..than after tat went home le..haiz..somehow caught a flu le..mayb get wet in the rain ba,.my health is like tat de..everytime after caught n wet myself in rain i sure sick de...hmm..somemore went into air-con..haiz..nvm la..will recover very fast de..haha..than go home didnt really do my work..were watching tv..haha..anyway..goin slp soon..tired le..nitex..

God pls bless my grandma..she had fall sick..she nid the strength to take care of my grandpa who had jus go for his operation..he is in great pain n everynight have to b look after n alerted..grandma hasnt been slping well since the day of OP..pls..bless her health..don let her fall.she is the pillar of strength..pls let grandpa lessen his pain..let him clean his wound wheneva needed..pls..i';ll promise to go back visit u all when time is available..hang on..love u all..

Yu shian

2007-02-24T23:09:00.000+08:00

Ytd were still ok..but somehow gt misudnerstanding..but i really hate it lo..haiz..don noe wat to sae bout u..it is not the way as how to show mi u care abt mi..no..its not..haiz..even though u r my gd friend..hiaz..don noe la..i gt my own reason in doin anything..jus to tell u..don try to control mi.i'll nt b living wif u foreva..kz..let mi decide on my own future n tinking..than after tat went to lot 1 to eat wif my sista..wen..sheilina..n also vinz n connie..than eat finish than go walk walk jiu go home le..than went back rest abit than prepare to go out le..

Went to sch for the fund raising dinner..meet up wif shirley.dor.valerie.wan hui..than saw nicol.nigel n keng chun..nicol very formal n handsome lo..lolz..than nigel were jus wearing t-shirts n jeans..look worst when both of them standing together..one is like a bride groom than another is like a cleaner in the hotel..lolz..than keng chun were wearin quite nice also..than went to sch..went up to the hall..hahax..first time take out the hp in front of all the teachers n principle..haha..cause function without wearing sch U ma..lolz..than the table were small lo..than the speaker is jus beside us lo..damn shit..so "LUCKY" lo..starting still ok..than after tat,wow..eardrum burst liao lo..relaly lo..oh ya..my table gt 8 ppl...Mi..dorothy..shirley..nigel..nicholas..keng chun..nicol..mark..were very fun thruout lo..really..with their entertainment..were very gentlemen too..haha..than they really noe how to drag our time lo..diaox..than we got lao yu sheng..1 full plate become 1/2 a plate left..the guy is too violent le..handphone all kena..cause the yu sheng anyhow fly..lolz..than the dishes were still ok la..got yu sheng.sharkfin..oat prawn..steam fish..fried slice pork.veg..fried yam wif veg.dessert..than the other 2 forget le..than only 1 malay uncle entertained the whole atmosphere up til the end..eveyrone was falling aslp soon..they invite so many old artist cum lo..sian..than when we go toilet the nx dishes is up..than when we cumn back already cleared..lucky the gentlemen help us put on our plate..hahax..than they compare the plate..dor n li has very less de..than mine many veg..many food..than nicol sae is him who help mi to the food de..hahax..tks huhx..than i also pay u back liao..i peel the prawn for u hor..lolz..see u eeat until so xin ku lo..use chopstick to bite off the shell..to u is damn difficult de lo..hahax..peter out of 2 lucky draw ticket he won 2 lo..wow seh..our table not even one lo..lolz.than after tat we took photo together..than after tat the guys still ask us go play lan..lol..siao lo..we don even play de..lolz..than dor father drove us home..tks..n its very late le..than go home bath prepare for nx day gb jiu go slp le..very tired..

Today morning wake up as usual..damn tired lo..the nite b4 so late than slp..but no choice..have to go for GB..today training n meeting quite fun..haha..how i wish everytime is like tat..than after tat went to lot 1 than meet up wif ni n go home..than rest awhile..chat in msn.haha..he long time no tok to mi le lo..gt a few days no contact le..haha..on the way back we were smsing..than his msg is always funny lo..of course laugh/smile..than the gals kip ask mi tis n tat..haiyo..nvm..than go out again..went to west mall wif vinz to watch NORBIT..very nice lo..haha..so funny..strange lei..last time find mi trouble de tat unity sec gal is standing outside the toilet there wif a guy tink waiting for whoeva..than i see her very familiar..than she told the guy very loud n staring at mi..sae"neh..tis one la.."diaox lo..y ur hate so long de..somemore u jus a peanut lo.b'cos ur friend is ah lian ah beng gt gang..n u r jus a distant friend n yet u still so xiao zhang..dotx..even last time ur friend sae nth liao..we r stil friend now lo..u noe ur face really very irritating..haiz..don noe la..DON LET MI KNOCK INTO U AGAIN..DON WISH TO START A FIGHT OR QUARREL..NO TIME FOR IT..O LVL TIS YR..U PLS GROW UP TOOO..BY USING UR FRIEND WONT HELP DE..K.HAIZ..than after tat went back to cck..walk.than meet up wif dor n her bro go seng siong than to bukit panjang..than rush home in cabs..haha..tks vinz..u noe wat i mean le..=)..than now reach home stomach not feelin tat well.goin slp le..tomoro have to go dorothy early b'dae party..hahax..hope to have fun..hope everything go smoothly..

,Many problems occuring..making mi feel really miserable.haix..really bad till i feel like hitting on something..haiz..than kip on control very xin ku..haiz..bo bian..anyway..jia you ba..nitex

2007-02-24T22:12:00.000+08:00

Ytd were still ok..but somehow gt misudnerstanding..but i really hate it lo..haiz..don noe wat to sae bout u..it is not the way as how to show mi u care abt mi..no..its not..haiz..even though u r my gd friend..hiaz..don noe la..i gt my own reason in doin anything..jus to tell u..don try to control mi.i'll nt b living wif u foreva..kz..let mi decide on my own future n tinking..than after tat went to lot 1 to eat wif my sista..wen..sheilina..n also vinz n connie..than eat finish than go walk walk jiu go home le..than went back rest abit than prepare to go out le..

Went to sch for the fund raising dinner..meet up wif shirley.dor.valerie.wan hui..than saw nicole.nigel n keng chun..nicole very formal n handsome lo..lolz..than nigel were jus wearing t-shirts n jeans..look worst when both of them standing together..one is like a bride groom than another is like a cleaner in the hotel..lolz..than keng chun were wearin quite nice also..than went to sch..went up to the hall..hahax..first time take out the hp in front of all the teachers n principle..haha..cause function without wearing sch U ma..lolz..than the table were small lo..than the speaker is jus beside us lo..damn shit..so "LUCKY" lo..starting still ok..than after tat,wow..eardrum burst liao lo..relaly lo..oh ya..my table gt 8 ppl...Mi..dorothy..shirley..nigel..nicholas..keng chun..nicole..mark..were very fun thruout lo..really..with their entertainment..were very gentlemen too..haha..than they really noe how to drag our time lo..diaox..than we got lao yu sheng..1 full plate become 1/2 a plate left..the guy is too violent le..handphone all kena..cause the yu sheng anyhow fly..lolz..than the dishes were still ok la..got yu sheng.sharkfin..oat prawn..steam fish..fried slice pork.veg..fried yam wif veg.dessert..than the other 2 forget le..than only 1 malay uncle entertained the whole atmosphere up til the end..eveyrone was falling aslp soon..they invite so many old artist cum lo..sian..than when we go toilet the nx dishes is up..than when we cumn back already cleared..lucky the gentlemen help us put on our plate..hahax..than they compare the plate..dor n li n very less de..than mine many veg..many food..than nicole sae is him who help mi to the food de..hahax..tks huhx..than i also pay u back liao..i peel the prawn for u hor..lolz..see u eeat until so xin ku lo..use chopstick to bite off the shell..to u is damn difficult de lo..hahax..peter out of 2 lucky draw ticket he won 2 lo..wow seh..our table not even one lo..lolz.than after tat we took photo together..than after tat the guys still ask us go play len..lol..siao lo..we don even play de..lolz..than dor father drove us home..tks..n its very late le..than go home bath prepare for nx day gb jiu go slp le..very tired..

Today morning wake up as usual..damn tired lo..the nite b4 so late than slp..but no choice..have to go for GB..today training n meeting quite fun..haha..how i wish everytime is like tat..than after tat went to lot 1 than meet up wif ni n go home..than rest awhile..chat in msn.haha..he long time no tok to mi le lo..gt a few days no contact le..haha..on the way back we were smsing..than his msg is always funny lo..of course laugh/smile..than the gals kip ask mi tis n tat..haiyo..nvm..than go out again..went to west mall wif vinz to watch NORBIT..very nice lo..haha..so funny..strange lei..last time find mi trouble de tat unity sec gal is standing outside the toilet there wif a guy tink waiting for whoeva..than i see her very familiar..than she told the guy very loud n staring at mi..sae"neh..tis one la.."diaox lo..y ur hate so long de..somemore u jus a peanut lo.b'cos ur friend is ah lian ah beng gt gang..n u r jus a distant friend n yet u still so xiao zhang..dotx..even last time ur friend sae nth liao..we r stil friend now lo..u noe ur face really very irritating..haiz..don noe la..DON LET MI KNOCK INTO U AGAIN..DON WISH TO START A FIGHT OR QUARREL..NO TIME FOR IT..O LVL TIS YR..U PLS GROW UP TOOO..BY USING UR FRIEND WONT HELP DE..K.HAIZ..than after tat went back to cck..walk.than meet up wif dor n her bro go seng siong than to bukit panjang..than rush home in cabs..haha..tks vinz..u noe wat i mean le..=)..than now reach home stomach not feelin tat well.goin slp le..tomoro have to go dorothy early b'dae party..hahax..hope to have fun..hope everything go smoothly..

,Many problems occuring..making mi feel really miserable.haix..really bad till i feel like hitting on something..haiz..than kip on control very xin ku..haiz..bo bian..anyway..jia you ba..nitex

2007-02-22T21:43:00.000+08:00

My dear sista wen didnt go sch today..OVERSLEPT again !! hahax..i must start giving u morning call le..lolz..anyway..today were quite alright..nth much happen..lesson were fine..most happy thing is tat the maths teacher taught today i understand n able to solve it out..yipee..i really nid alot of practice than others..believe in urself !! Go....hahaz..than knew tat saufiah cut away the chinese new yr decoration..i was damn mad..though there is nth for mi to b so mad about..but i get fed up cause tis yr i noe i have the responsibility in many things..especially class..n the decoration i put in lots n lots of effort..n at the day of decoration she didnt even do anything n sit there slp..didnt even help much n yet is the first to destroy our hard work..haiz..it really matters much to mi..even the malay bois also diam diam don noe wat to sae bout her..when others ask her izzit she destroy..she even ans back wif a guang rong tune lo..haiz..nvm la..better not let us defeat u one day..wake up ur idea...after recess..we faced mr yeo for 6 period plus IP coaching..cause he will not b in sch the nx week cause he goin for reservice..than we will b missing lots of maths lesson..so today he pia as much as he can to teach us n let us do revision during the period when he is not in sch,..than were quite tiring n headace..cause used my brain too much..hahax..than after sch..vinz waited for mi at the block there..tks huhx..noe u rushed back home than rush out again..nx time no nid wait for mi le ba..waste time..than also very tiring to wait for someone de..lolz..but really tks..so touch huhx..lolz..than after tat went to lot 1 to eat at foodcourt..than wan hui went home n rush out again jus to meet mi to have lunch.tks anyway..such a good friend i have..hahax..than eat..than have fun..wif cai hui..sheilina..dorothy..shirley..yi ping.wan hui..n vinz..haha..such a funny bunch..haiz..shao le 1 person..which is that OVERSLEPT qian wen..lolz..nvm la..nx time still have tis opportunity to go out together de..yipee..than vinz starting kip sae no wan go..cause his leg pain..haha..than in the end leaving mi his choco n left..haha..such a stun senerio..i wash shock..lol..but ya rite la..mayb he shld go wif them ba,or else i will jus bring bored to him..ya ?!?!haha..anyway..tks for the phrase..ur time will b for mi tomoro..lolz..lets see if we really have time ma lo..tks..muackz..opps..lolzl..than after tat went to buy things jiu go home le..Reach home mummy was quite sick n voice is getting softer n softer..hiaz..than heard my grandpa foot 1st toe is already been chop off le..cause of diabetes..than already rot very long le..haiz..felt really really sad..but no choice..if it is not bein taken off..it will spread more..bad to worst..haiz..jus now called back to check out how is it le..the doc sae now is stable le..but grandma will nid to suffer more..more xin ku ba,,cause she will nid to spend extra care for grandpa..nvm la..couple is like tat..yong yuan xiang yi wei ming..how sweet it is..than today no much work to b done..prepare for tomroo thingy jiu goin slp le..very tired..vinz..enjoyed urself today ba ?? haha..u gals too !! nx time than go out together ba..

我发现我不能再那么自私了。。我真的很自私。。你不会永远在我身边。。我不能永远依赖你。。我已经拥有你太久了。是时候把你还给大家了。好不舍得。我真的发现我们的感情已超越好朋友了。但还没达到情人那接段。如果真的要放开你真的很难。。很难。。虽然我们只是朋友但是你是一个比朋友还要朋友的朋友。。我真的很依赖你。只要你一离开我的视线，我就感到不自在。怎么办？我真的应该让你和朋友相处多一点。你身边的朋友比以前多了，把握吧。。我好喜欢我们每一次在一起的时候。带来很多欢喜，悲伤。。一起度过难关。好开心！真的~你就像我手中的风筝，不管线放的多长，多远。。永远都会留在我身边。好矛盾。。不知在想什么。我有想多吗？不知道。。只知道当我看到你的笑容，即使是在下雨，也会变成晴天。
请不要离我太远。陪伴着我当我需要你。。你是一个可以让我依靠的超好朋友。。
我不要自己一个人去面对未知的迷宫。。陪我走下去。。我这段时间会很不稳定。。不要离我而去。。陪在我身边如果可以的话。。我要拥有属于我自己的守护天使。。好希望他会赶快出现。。保护我，爱护我。。

My Angel...lub..
take care everyone..
muackz..

Yu shian...

2007-02-21T20:07:00.000+08:00

Morning were so tired tat i don even feel like goin to sch..than during sch were still ok la..all the work were undone..lolz..so everyone were there trying to chiong their work out..lolz..than were somehow still in the mood of new yr..lolz..than after sch there were no IP..woohoo..yipee..than after sch straight away go out of sch..lolz..than went to lot 1 walk..than go west mall..thought of watching a movie..but as usual still many ppl goin for a movie.haiz..than nv watch go eat burger king..haha.x..than after tat walk n walk..go lot 1 walk n walk..lolz..than took cab back as vinz hurt his leg..hope u r fine now..take care ya..than reach home same timing as mum..,nv thought tat lo..than she face black black..than were like suspecting something than nv sae out..don noe la..strange atmosphere..than were quite all the while..went to sunshine place to buy shoe..but in the end forget it is not open yet..lolz..haiz..than bo bian..tink of goin home straight away..but thinking tat go home have to face my mum..than knew tat she is goin to ask lots of question..haiz..either is money or whereabouts..haiz..i felt restricted..i walked slowly..everytime i walked shortcut..but tis time i not only walk the long way but also walk damn slow..i was tinking n tinking..how to face her when i go home..i hate the atmosphere when nth is being said n yet coldness came.haiz..i hate it..really,,than all the while when i reach home she was doin her things n i was doin mine..every min every sec..jus hoping daddy would cum home faster..i felt so frighten..don noe y..i don like being in a house of cold atmosphere..i don wan to b stared by the cold eyes..an eyes tat is trying to show mi something n yet didnt sae out..haiz..i scare..i really am..pls..mum..i noe u restrict mi in many things...i noe u don like mi to loiter after sch,..haiz..sry..i have my own reason...i don noe how to sae..but,..don noe la..i'm jus sry..but i'll promise to kip to ur restriction as possible as i could..haiz.sry..today no homework..yipee..later goin to edit photo than go rest le..very tired..nid the energy for tomoro..hahax..vinz,.tks for the pic...wen n maine..happy moments r kept..luv u all lots..

Pls..tell mi wats happening or else i will nv noe even for the 100 yrs down the road..don kip it from mi anymore when u noe u r already affecting mi tat much..

Don let mi suffer in the place of coldness n frighteness..don let mi b'cum like the past..nv..don let history happen..i don wan to b tied up in a room..i don wan to face the darkness n emptiness..pls..no..i don wan..help.....i'm really really frightened now..really..pls cum..

2007-02-19T22:34:00.000+08:00

Hahaz..in the end still gt go out..than waited for vinz..than went to west mall..thought of watching a movie..wow..the whole shopping centre is damn quiet..than go the cinema there so long queue lo..haiz..than queue awhile decide to change place watch..mayb lesser ppl..than went to causeway..haiz..same lo..also many ppl..than decide not to go watch movie liao..than went to eat sakae..also many ppl..cause not much eating stall is open..than eat abt $50 lo..than leave le..gio back lot1 than walk walk..jiu go home le..very tired..now settling tomoro thingy..see who is available who is not..haiz.so many ppl not free..sae cannot go their house ..sian..less many ang bao lo..haiz..nvm la..see how lo..hope tomoro is a fine day then..muackz..

Yu shian..

2007-02-19T16:25:00.000+08:00

CHU XI went to my shu shu house to eat reunion dinner..than sit there followed ALL the rules..lolz..damn many to follow man !! hahax..than tok..had fun toking to my relatives..didnt play much cause all small kids..lolzx.than 10+ like tat go back than packed my things for the nx day..goin to malaysia !! my mum side relatives.long time no go back le..

CHU YI early morning wake up go malaysia..dad drove there..our speed is damn slow than normal lo..cause heard many "hardworking" malaysia police will b catching speeding car..duhx lo..jus b'cos new yr than wan kopi money !! no righteous..lolz..than than reach grandparent house..not tat much of new yr atmosphere..haiz..no choice..than eat tok eat tok..slp...than my cousin they all came liao than gamble..sing karaoke..had fun..than drink red wine..so hot lo..lolz..than the whole day were jus like normal visiting..nth much..than watch tv most of the time..clime up n down the stairs at my grandparent house..lolz..exercise..than like tat 1 something than go slp lo..

CHU ER which is today..hm..wake up early n came back s'pore cause kor nid to go work at 12.30pm..than were very tired..went to bath than go slp..actually wan ask everyone over de..cause thought of gambling..than have fun..till late also can cause tomoro no sch ma..but cannot..most ppl not free today..cause if today play liao tomoro no nid spend time on my house gambling than go bai nian..nvm la..than actually wan go watch movie de..than prepare hao liao in the end sae cancel..haiz..nvm la..only lucky i haven go out..he must have met wif prob..angry till my house here also can see his anger smoke lo..don noe wat excatly happen..jus noe something happen n make him dan angry..hm..jus hope u simmer down..don noe will b goin out later not.haiz..mummy n daddy goin out to watch movie later..thought i'll b out too,..but..don noe la..if no go out than stay home alone lo..no choice..no worries la.got tv ma..haha..

Yu Shian..
Happy New Year..

2007-02-16T22:43:00.000+08:00

Morning went sch for New yr celebration..so many ppl nt there lo..than 1st programme to decorate our class..a competition..haiz..spend so much effort in doin it..n yet didnt get any prize..haiz..nvm la..a competition as many ppl said..but it is rather gek xim..hm..anyway..as long as we noe tat we did used our effort in it..n class unity to complete the whole thing,it shall b a prize for us..we r still the winner of them all..hahax..than after tat is the celebration in the hall..many programme arranged for us..erm..still ok la..cause not tat attentive.hahax..playing n joking ard all the while..but anyway..being entertained..had fun...after tat went home..change le than waited for charmaine..than almost fell aslp le..relaly very tired le..than went to vinz house wait for him to change..than as i lie on his bed..fell aslp...lolz..than wake up ard 3+;..than stun tio.cause we r meeting wen..oh my goodness..than wake up still blur blur..than they told mi they delayed the time le..so i can slp on when they ready to go than wake mi up..than 4 like tat went out,,.sry huhx..very late...they don wan to wake mi up cause i was very tired[as wat they said]..tks anyway..but sry wen to kip u waiting..=p.

Went to jurong point..walked ard..than went to pizza hut to eat..wen ar wen..don complain le hor ! tis time round i did bring u go eat hor ! haha..than after tat walked round n round..haiz..saw the shoe very nice..fit well..but wats de use of buying when u noe u r only goin to wear once or twice..cause too inconvinient.haiz..don noe la..than in the end did not buy any shoes..go seiyu saw the apir i like..but only left wif the display..haiz..fate..than at JP..bought 3 shirts..$7 for one,.cheap n nice..hahax..mum also sae nice.than bought jeans..than go back lot 1 walk ard jiu go home le..send wen home first than follow by mi n vinz.the taxi uncle very nice,..very polite.good service..

Now home le..bath out..took all my clothes to wash..than online..later goin to pack some stuff jiu go slp le..very tired..than jus knew tat one of my new skirt is being "ran" by my mum's new clothes..somemore red colour..lolz..anyway..jus hope the stain will go off..pls..lolz

Vinz..noe u must b in unhappy n moody state..but jus can sae FATE LO...no nid care la..he is the last to cum n first to go..its jus a period of time to test him..actually we noe tat too..i mean we sista noe he will leave..cause he don really belong to tis kind of "activity"..nvm la..u see..we others were so long liao also have "break"..hahax,,.means we r strong to b a family..k..don broad over tis le..help nth but jus to affect u..kz..try to cheer up..we family nt leaving u..nv..b strong n walk on..
Family :: ~Wan ting~Jia Jun~Dorothy~Shirley~Yu Shian~Yi Ping~Nigel~Vinz~..Don forget u still have others not so impt kor..but in the end they r still there to concern bout u..k..no fate to b brother than b friends n "idol" lo..nth de ma..rite..jia you..we r always there..

Wen..promise mi nt to shed tears unneccesary le oh..k..later one day no tears produce jiu die le..hahax..anyway..had a great day wif u guys..really..had lots of fun...hope there is nx time..hahax..kambateh !! Friends cum buddies 4eva..muackz,..love u all lots..my dearies.....Cheer up for those who r unhappy..kzx..muackz..

Yu shian...
Luv always..

2007-02-15T20:23:00.000+08:00

Hmm..tat qian wen no come sch..no gd no gd..slp till so late huhx..haha..anyway..sch were alright ba..than today total defence day..hahax..save money in sch lo..canteen not open..cant buy things..than bought biscuit in the morning b4 sch than bring sch eat..we very lucky lo..when having war or so..our sch stil have water cooler..fan..lights..toilet stll have water to wash hand..lolz..so lucky war huhx..than the first 2 period is exchange wif the last 2 period..
than last period is P.E..than went to hall..played tug-a-war..than we gals vs 4A gal..sai lo..nt fair de..they 7 vs we all 6..diaox..than lose..argh..nvm..jus a game man !! hahax..anyway..have to see our bois play..they won !!yipee..than also very united..than after sch stayed back to pia our classroom preparation for the decoration tomoro..hahax..put lots of effort in it..hope will at least get a prize..=p.hahax..jus hope la..than tks nicholas.nigel.mark.keng chun for staying back..though sae wan to help us n didnt help much la..but tks for entertaining us..wif ur music n song..hahax..n tks some of the gals for helping out..charmaine n wan hui..tks u all..u all from other class n yet come over to help us..felt quite paiseh..hahax..anyway,,tks..vinz..tks u too..waited for mi..n helping mi..after tat went to lot1 to have meals..went to pizza hut..hmm..4 person ate $55.20..argh,,.tat $5.20 hai mi cannot use tat discount voucher..sob..nvm la..nx time..than after tat went to take taxi jiu go home le..very tired but jus feel happy today ba..than later goin to continue doin the things le..hahax..btq..everyone was like goin to sch to have a picnic..bought so many food as if really war has occured..haha..anyway..tomoro half day..yipee..than goin out wif my sista qw n buddy..muackz..luv u all so much..so happy..haha..jus hope tomoro is a happy n enjoyable day..celebration for half day than go home change le zai go out..wahhaha..so glad..than wan go buy shoes..hehex..so happy..God bless everything goes well tomoro..u shld noe wat my wishes shld b le ba..tks ya..dear jesus lord..hahax..anyway..take care everyone..see u all tomoro..muackz.

SHIRLEY GOH !!how long have u noe mi..almost 5 yrs le hor ! still don noe how to spell my name..my name SHIAN is spelled like tat..Not. SHAIN !!!!remember hor..tis time round i forgive u,..better no nx time..remember my name n nv forget..if u forget i'mgoin to haunt u everyday every nite to remind u..hahazx..

Tracy..Yu shian..

2007-02-14T21:57:00.000+08:00

Morning like a santa clause..hahax..gave out valentine present n cards..sry for those whom did not receive anything..but i'm jus too tired to continue..i do till very late than slp..n also sry for those who feel unfair abt the SIZE of the present..haha..different ppl different present..lolz..anyway..had a great time in sch..received a few small gifts..than maths lesson mr yeo gave us a 5C card which is made by him n a pen..so nice..n we were not having any lesson..we were watching video instead of studying,..valentine day ma,,haha,..than after sch waited for vinz n charmaine..than after tat went to lot 1..than go jurong pt..then to west mall..sry to qw n vinz as i wasted the 2 of u time..i choosed the wrong place to go as it is a crowded place n waited for the cab for so long..noe u all r tired n somehow pek cek..mi too..but i'm sry..i didnt expect it..than took cab to west mall..than went to eat burger king..than walk..jiu go back le..went to fountian for a while than sit there tok..after tat jiu go home le..

Wen...finally decision is still up to u..k..don b influence by friends,..friends advise can b taken but jus browse thru it..positive de take it..negative de throw it away..kz..i noe u r having confused mind bout ur relationship..it is like tat de..no one relation is perfect..k..it will get over soon..give each other some more time ba,..k..tok to mi if needed..don forget we r sista oh..=]jia you..glad to b celebrating wif u tis yr..

Vinz..happy valentine day..tks for the day..though mayb make u feel quite stress up when waiting for cab..wasting of time goin to another place..but really tks for the day..hope u like the present..though is might not b from any expensive shop..but it is neither cheap..jus hope to giv u a present thru my sincerety..ya u r rite..ur attitude is better than anyday..but nvm la..jus b urself..kz..happy to spend tis yr valentine wif u..memories kept inside..nv forget..=]

Dear other friends who i cant celebrate wif today..jus hope u all did enjoy even without mi..ya ?! haha..happy valentine to u all..muackz..

Feel so gek xim when see so many couples walking ard..somemore taking bouquet n bouquet of flowers..haiz..so sweet..holding hands..walking ..smiling together,..its been a very long time since anyone holds my hand..i miss it..really..jus hope times pass faster..jus hope to find my right one..to hold mi once again..it feels really a sense of warmth when being held onto others hand..really..haiz..its ok la..jus hope every single couple in tis world will treasure ur partners..k..don change anyhow..cause must save the best for mi..hahax..no la..jus wish all the valentines in the world "HAPPY VALENTINES DAY !"..b faithful oh !! love each other..muackz..

Yu shian

2007-02-13T20:09:00.000+08:00

Sch were still ok..than today no common test for art..than went to art room to do our art..haiz..very stress bout it..nvm la..endure thru ba..than after tat were "learning english" in art room wif mrs tay..funny conversation n learning..after tat went to Gb drills training..erm..quite hyper today,.but not tat properly sone somehow,.,fault might also b the cause of the DRILL COMMANDER !! haha..jk la..not bad la..still can b seen..cause today learn new things..so is a beginning..but jus hope u all brush up ur drills fast fast..mi too..my drills all drop into the drain le.lolz..anyway..after tat went to lot1 walk..than pei vinz go eat..bought crane..i like it b'cos it giv mi a sense of peace n warmth..n romance..after tat jiu went home le..very tired..than jus eaten mi dinner..later goin to prepare things..than do work..study for my bio practical test tomoro..haiz..try my best ba..lolz..

Valentine Day tomoro !! such a wonderful day..it is consider friendship day too..for those without stead..hmm..i prefer valentine ba..haha..it is the day when ppl tense to express their feelin towards the one they admire or like..so romantic..haha..wonderful wonderful..so such a wonderful day jiu must b a happy day..haiz..but quite troubled over where to go or watsoever..he asked mi out..still deciding n wondering..haiz..don noe la..very confuse..see first ba..anyway..hope to have a wonderful valentine day / friendship day tomoro !! Nv frown oh..for those guys who r goin to "propose" to the gal they like, jia you for u all..use ur true n warmth heart to let the gals heart melt..lolz..gals r easily to get soft hearted..hahax,..jia you for all of u !!

Luv Yu shian..

2007-02-12T20:14:00.000+08:00

Nv say my friends..especially my best friend..NV EVA...u r not tat perfect too wat..isnt it..u noe jus now i nearer slap u upside down..i m really damn angry lo..i diam diam b'cos u r my neighbour k..i hate ppl sae him de lo..u idiotic freak..haiz..don noe wat to sae..anyway he is not like wat u all sae lo..he is totally good de lo..to mi ...nv sae bad abt him,,.i hate it..better watch ur words before it spill out..no one will sae u r dumb if u kip quiet..k..better watch it..i don like it means i don like it..no matter wat,,UR HIM IS NOT TAT PERFECT N GOOD TOO LO..SIAOX..

2007-02-12T19:16:00.000+08:00

Today sch were alright ba..but getting more sleepy after recess..than after sch waited for vinz top finish his IP coaching..waited for quite long..but still ok la..,lolz..erm...wen n charmaine..sry huhx..to let u all wait together..=p..than after tat went to west mall to walk..actually wan to find my shoe de..than in the end walk n walk jiu saw a shop where many nice shirt is..than go in n find vinz shirt..all very nice lo..than bought 3 pieces of clothes..erm..sry huhx..brought u to so expensive place to buy the shirts..=p..than after tat went back to lot1 than go seiyu buy jeans..also very ex de..don noe y u wear ex de shirt very nice..wear normal also very nice..lolz..but u really look great in the jeans..erm..letting mi decide u tis yr de clotheing must b spent too much le ba..hope u like it..but sry too..than after tat went to buy somethings to jiu home le..later goin to do my work..anyway..valentine day coming le..haiz..still deciding n feelin confuse where to go n who to go out wif..haiz...anyway..jus hope everything goes well..surprises is all i wan..see ya..muackz..

Xiao Zhu..

2007-02-10T23:12:00.000+08:00

Noe u r not in good mood recently..many things happen too..can understand.anyway..jus kip goin on ba..time wont stop b'cos of us de..kz..tis weekend cant pei u..i have too many things to do..all delayed de..so must fast fast do finish b4 another scolding..cause by rite shld b done during the last few weekend..sry huhx..hope everythings fine by now..kambateh..noe u don like staying at home..but u can go out de..jus tat u cant find the suitable person to pei u go out rite..haiz..see how ba...cheer up ya..world still turn even we r troubling over something..lolz..tok crap..hahax..

I'll bear wif everything..wheneva i thought tat valentine day is coming..chinese new yr is coming..i feel really great..wheneva i',m down..i try to tink of some positive things to cheer mi up..at least a bit..endure ba..everyone,.life is hard to go on when u cant let go..

-= ForGiVe N fOrGeT =-

Yu shian

2007-02-10T23:04:00.000+08:00

After gb..went home..than bath le jiu go out wif biao jie..very hot today..hot till my head is on off pain..lolz..than took bus 190 to go far east,..than walk all the way to lucky plaza..than went to shop ard..all the things we saw today is cheap cheap de lo..lolz..than bought some clothes..after tat went to plaza sing to check my hp..haha..now i can sms everyone le..than go chinatown..wow..chinatown is jus like everyone runnning for their life..as if like singapore is goin to flood..so pack seh..like sadine..everyone squeezing their way thru..lolz..cant even move much in the crowd..hmm..than choose not to go walk in the "market"..than went to buy my grandma shirt..than after tat went to buy things..eat..than walk till abt 10 jiu go home le..n at tat late hr..still alot of ppl there lo..lolz..than took bus home..very tired le..now reach home later goin bath than do housework jiu go slp le..not feeling tat well too..mayb too hot than drink not enough water..getting sick,,,god..pls..don let mi fall sick..new yr coming..=]..

2007-02-10T22:56:00.000+08:00

Morning went for GB training..erm..still ok la..wore FULL U..so long nv wear le..lucky still can fit..lolz..than haiz..somehow gek xim when i saw others especially those sec 4 getting their badge..damn many lo..i cant get mine yet cause i haven complete the project..cannot promote to sergeant b'cios haven complete the project..haiz..wat is tis man !! argh..nvm..than expected more than the number of gals who turn up..on the sec 1 cca list saw abt 17 gals who r joining GB..n yet only 4 turn up..haiz..rather disappointed..seeing the st john enjoying themselvcs..feel really great if i cld b in the fun too..really sometimes envy st john..really..how i wish one day my Gb cld b like tat too..haiz..nvm.God has his purpose in doin everything..during training..lots of unhappinest..but as not to affect others..jus gek my smilex out.lolz..than during break time..my mood is damn shit lo..than when i see the st john how they enjoy themselves...i literally smilex..yes..i really smiled..tats the happinest i wan ba..anyway..gals..we r running out of time le..our drills relaly have to buck up le..its horrible terrible vegetable !! pls...i jus beg u all not to skip any GB training if not neccesary..really..if u wan to skip..u can..but is after the drill com..k..n pls turn up regularly for every tuesday drill's training..we'll b teaching different things..gals..no matter how tired we r..endure..k..time will pass..our effort will not b wasted after all the hard work put in..k..jia you..God bless !

2007-02-09T23:19:00.000+08:00

Hmm..blog abt ytd first..haiz..really confused..y is she so stubborn..aiya..don noe la..small matter can explode like volcano..haiz..jus feel vex bout it ba..than morning go sch act as if nth happen..but the feelin is still there de la..hmm..don noe la..than during recess..haiz..after toking to him..don noe y feel so fan than walked away..when i walked away..i don even noe where to go..than my tears dropped down abit by abit..feel hurtx in the heart..but don noe y..mayb jus don like to see friends quarrel ba..at tat moment i jus feel like finding a place where no ppl is..but every place is fill wif ppl..haiz..than walk to the 4th floor..than the prefect ask mi not to go back to classroom n yet i jus hack care n shout back:"I GO BACK TAKE SOMETHING LA...!"..than the few prefect were stun lo..lol..sry huhx..who ask u all to tok to mi at the wrong timing..lolz..than after tat walked down to the 2nd floor..than as i walk pass nicholas n keng chun..they shouted n called mi..but i jus walk on..than they shouted very loudly my name..than ask mi wat happen..than i sat down..i told them is bout my friend things..than somehow tears really drop again..than they comfort mi..than cheer mi up..than when bell rings..they were abt to go n ask mi if i wan to go or not..than i sae..i don wan to go parade squade..i don noe how to face my friend n i don wish to entertain any question..so they acc mi back to class.than very cute lo the both of them..as they walked infront,,than i walk very slow..than when they reach 4th floor..i still at 3 half floor.lolz..than nicholas walk back to find mi..than keng chun hide behind the wall n pop his head out to see if i reach already not..lolz..than they stand at the spot waiting for mi to catch up wif them than they walk on..i feel so touch..really...i didnt noe tat guys is also so caring when everytime we only see their rough side..than at tat moment i felt tat i'm not lonely..the both of them acc mi all the way..a friend indeed..haiz..but is the first time being so not use to it without him there..wheneva i m sad or cried..he'll always b there..but he is also having his own prob..i understand..but tks for the msg which really cheer mi up really really much..knew tat everything would b alright..

As for today..hmm..nth much..time pass quite fast i tink..than during history lesson..haiz..nigel was mad till he shed man tears..=s..than jus walk out of the class..but by rite ms ong is really bias..than tat jun yong..pls la..stop aggitating ppl..especially when u noe jolly well tat he is sensitive..n cant b played..u everytime rub salt into the wound de lo..see liao also gek lo..not ur business jus shoo..n diam diam..don so k-po n hai ppl quarrrel..u tink very shuang izzit..siaox..pls la..b a real christian if u wan..b more devoted..being a christian is not jus goin to church,.to cell grp..read bible..to attend tis n tat..but the most importantly is to obey wateva god's sae..no vulgar..but it doesnt seems to work on u,.no gossip..didnt work too..respect others..did u ? try to stop all the conflict than starting one..wahahha..u r always the one starting it..rather than ending it,,.duhx..pls la..tink thru when u sae others..others is not perfect so r u,.,.kz..siaox..nigel..as for u..hack care them la..a bunch of monkeys only,,.u noe y..b'cos monkey see monkey do ma..ppl give them eat banana..than they eat banana lo,..ppl gib them eat shit they eat shit lo..simple logic..no use getting angry over those monkey..k..than tat ms ong..aiya..she siao de la..hack care her..no use broading over when she didnt even care..ya ?! bear n endure wif it a few more mth n its over man..!wioohoo..haha..anyway..than didnt go for assembly..pei nigel in class..than as not to waste time..when toking to him i did my class duty,,haha..than let him cool down..than time pass,,.sch is oevr..than they come find mi..nigel jiu go le..haiz..hope he is fine now..than went to minimart wif qw..char..vinz..hiaz..don like tat minimart anymore..feel so uncomfortable..haiz..nvm la..than after tat go back sch take result..haiz..take back result..still de same..B3M..no change..i noe it might b nth to someone,..but to mi although is retake..but it really matters much to mi...i feel really depressed n disappointed..still ask mi go health zone ?!?! go ur head la..go there eat up all the food to lessen my disappointment huhzx ?!?! haiz..than after tat walked out of sch..sry to let u both trying tio catch up wif mi..i relaly don noe wat to do n sense of direction..all i could do at tat time is to continue wlaking straight..without any destination..than as i walk..my sadness is still there..i controlled n controlled..than suddenly a few drops of tears drop down..i relaly feel like crying out,..i feeel realy xin ku..really..but i scare others will sae it is jus a retake result..not impt//cry for wat..so i ren n ren..haiz..than reach lot1 thought to myself not to b so sad..must cheer up so will not affect my friend..went to causeway too..wlak ard..have fun..than go back lot1 vinz bought his new shoe..haha..i choose de wor..sry if u don like..but the one i last time saw which suits u is no more there..tats de second i tink is nice de..hm..looks great on u..=] .. than after tat very unwell jiu go home le..reach home..quickly do all houseworkk..than prepare my tomoro thingy,,Full U,..polish boots,,,than watch tv abit..online,..than later goin to slp le..very tired..must wake up very early tomoro..like daily routine like tat..must fall in at 8..hmm..hope i walk up on time,.

Anyway..tis few days cried..mayb too many things happen inside out..for mi..the way to destress or help mi feel better is to cried out loud or go to places which i feel tat is quite for mi to stable my emotion b4 goin back to the noisy n distracting life,..sry friends if i bought trouble for u all..i'll try to control more..tks for those who r wif mi..really tks..anyway..hope everything's goin to b fine soon..b4 chinese new yr..*Try to forgive n forget,,.it will make everyone feel better,,.really..no use dwelling on it when it will nv come to n end..*k..friends 4eva,,family 4eva..jia you..

With Love,
Yu Shian...

2007-02-02T23:06:00.000+08:00

Hmm..long time no blog le..busy busy..haha..anyway..today..hmm..okok la..up n down..haiz..jus wat is the job of a vice chairman..?? is it mi who r the one who r so k-po ? or i tink too much..is it my fault to do everything..but do i nid to do everything when my chairman will do it automatically n do it well enough for everyone to see ??!! wateva info he got he will nv explain it to class n our info will always b the last to reach..n always will b rushing for it..haiz..wats the point..i relaly don noe..I helped u out n yet kena scold by u..pls la..pls b gentle wif ur words can or not..scold F*** to mi..sae mi words not pleasant..jus wat u wan mi to do ??!! U r driving mi crazy u noe..i kip on telling myself its ok its alright..nth de..but in the end it turn out to b more worst..u ask mi not to care so much..fine..than i shall not do so much..but u lei..kip on ignoring every single responsibility the chairman shld b doin..than in the end almost kena scold by mr siah..halo ! B very clear tat wateva punishment we got is double from others...can u b more considerate ??!! haiz..i really don noe wat to do le..I hurtx my knee when closing the class window..scratch from the eletricity pluck..the side of it broke off..but at tat time i was really sad n haiya..don noe how to sae the feelin la..haiz..than even the pain i cant feel it..but when i m already calm..i felt the pain of it..bleeding..the pain in my leg..haiz..than now realise my knee still gt the scar n big patch of blue black..than now is very swollen.haiz..nvm la..endure..than as i do the class duty when i'm not suppose to..haiz..nvm..than i tink n tink abt the matter of the chairman thingy i felt so unhappy..really feel very gek..than broke into tears..mayb ppl might tink b'cos i hurt my leg so i cry ba..hmm..nvm..jus let ppl treat it as tat lo..than tks for friend for coming up to mi..i cried..than i smile..b'cos of them...tks u all very much..than after tat went to lot 1..than along the way,..lots of laughter..we all look like a gang lo..12 ppl walking together..than go lot 1..acc them go eat..than drag time..than after tat go back sch again...cause shirley they all gt english Ip..than after tat mi n vinz sit at canteen do our work..than after tat go kranji 'This Fashion' to look at clothe..wow..i noe the fashion tis yr le lo..lolz..so many design almost the same..lolz..than dor kip on ask mi go try..hahax..than bought a skirt..hmm..still some to go..than after tat went back to lot 1 than go back home..than reach home jiu pia my GB thingy...than very busy all the way lo..lolz..than later goin to slp le..gonna b a very bz week for tis week n nx week..chinese new yr is coming..hmm...must prepare lo..haha..k la..end here le..very tired..go slp le..muackz..nitex..

2007-01-23T22:14:00.000+08:00

Ur sickness is still wif u..i don noe when u will change it..i don noe when u will get better..i don even noe wat u exactly wan..i realy don noe..i thought u really had change..but indeed u did not..i realise it recently..haiz..wat promise had u made to mi..do u exactly remember not ??!?! haiz..i really don noe wat to do le la..B ur real self then..i'm washing my hand off u soon..if i cld..take care then..

NV promise mi anything when u cld not do it out..
Nv promise mi when u r not ready to face the consequences..
Nv promise mi when u noe u r unable to fulfill it..
NV EVA .... I'm scare of being hurtx..my dears....

Yu shian

2007-01-21T11:25:00.000+08:00

I dont need a friend who cant accept mi for who i m..i nid a friend who can understand my surrounding..problems..n help mi thru it...n not those who will jus look on the outside n not the inside..friends jus need understanding to get along well..tink for others before self..

2007-01-18T22:42:00.000+08:00

Oh..btw..hope u r fine by now..noe tat u r sick n also not in a good mood..hmm..everyone have tis day,,.i understand..mi too ma..but nvm la..endure over jiu hao le..jia you..yong yuan zhi ci ni !!take care..

Yu shian..

2007-01-18T22:13:00.000+08:00

Sch were still ok la..only tat some prob ba,.but during some lesson can sae have some sort of fun ba..than at about 1 pm..went to foyer to gather..than set off to ngee ann poly for a visit..hmm..on the bus they opened the potato chips n eat..gt 3 packet..than nigel kip on snatching from the ppl at the front so tat we gals behind cld eat dao..haha..nice of u huhx..lolz..anyway..reach there..than went to their lecture hall..than after tat went out..free time le..haha..than met vinz..went to walk ard together..went to nursing course the first..haha...than vinz wan life sceince jus beside only..haha..than after tat went their canteen..wow,..so cheap lo..all poly de food all cheap cheap de..than something happen..than all kena shock..hmm..anyway..went to walk..than after tat have to gatehr back le..though might b short abit in time..but still ok la..not much to explore actually la..haha..than went back sch,...go take bag..1 of my sista cried..haiz..b'cos of wat...bf thingy..haiz..don noe la..i cant b bothered too much too..than after tat went to sit under blk..she cried again..cryliao stop..cry liao stop..cry liao stop..haiz..than after tat walk to lot 1..finally the couple is fine..haiz..than went to eat at 'Let's eat' than ate so many thing..very full..went to walk..don noe y suddenly feel so tired..mentally n physically,,mayb 1 of the reason is i eat medicine ba...than another is kena influence..than mayb jus happent to b unhappy lo..lolzx..than haiz..after tat jiu go home le..seems like everyones in a bad mood ya,..don noe who to tok to le..i don wan to add onto others burden when they themselves carry 1 at tat time..haiz..see them so unhappy i also feel xin ku,.no matter how difficult..i still have to face them in a positive manner..have to act like a clown..haiz..i jus can b myself infront of him..haiz..sometimes i jus feel so sad,,..haiz..but wat can b done ? jus let time pass n walk a step n count a step lo..many other things tat i m disagreed about..jus don noe how to sae out..let it bba,.hope it will b alright one day,..i don wish tis time round my immagination is right,..i hope it will turn into a negative way..its really a big challenge to mi..anyway..tomoro my sista they all wna go temasek poly tomoro after sch..go home change first..hm,..see first ba..nitex.. God bless..

Yu shian

2007-01-17T20:43:00.000+08:00

Start eating "healthy meal"..haiz..b'cos of my skin prob lo..hmm..nvm..have to endure..i wan to b like others..have a nice skin..hahax..anyway..schs were alright la..jus tat eat the medicine feel really damn tired..feel like slping all the while..even if i was in a very tired state..i still entertained my friends..i don usually do tat..hmm..jus wan to b the same like others..don wan to giv a face or wat when i not feelin well or wat..cause i don like it when ppl do it to mi too...yup..than after sch went suki..walk walk..than go home le..erm,...ya..something strange lo..mayb i not use to seeing the situation ba..erm..yup..very weird lo..erm..nvm la..i noe he is trying to void ba..don noe..jus feel kinda strange feelin even though there is a smile..ya..hahax..than took cab home..everyone was tired..
I noe u very tired n not feeling well..cause sick ma..jus take care ya..will not b use to a quite u..lolz..or rather serious looking u..fierce oh...hahax...anyway..cheer up wif anything happens..all written in the letter..yup..
Tomoro during C.E lesson goin to Ngee Ann poly for visiting..hmm..though don quite like tat sch..still ok la..for some stupid reason i don like..lame rite..let go ...let go..let go of everything..remember to let go...hahax..anyway..jus hope is a "wonderful" trip ya..haha..combining wif other class too...cool man !!
Kor..sry..i was born stupid..or rather slower than others..i noe u had ur difficulty in teaching mi..very very very less ppl have the patience in teaching mi..or rather not even have any..especially teaching mi maths,..my friends also gave up on mi wheneva they repeated many times..haiz..guys tense to b hot tempered at time..n heard from mummy tat day u also in a bad mood b'cos u met wif some prob..so i don blame u..really i don..u have done ur best le..I promise to study real hard..i wan to bucker up my maths..not to disappoint u..i will try my very best..counting down the days u goin for army..is nearer n nearer..feel really sad wheneva thought of tat...being together for 17 yrs living under one roof..though is go for only a few mths but..relaly not use to it when i cant see u in tis house at least one day..somemore i haveing my 'O's tis yr..n if Ni move out..haiz..i'll b alone..no one there to guide mi,.haiz...feel really really sad when i thought of tat..Nv sae u r a failure..U r always the best brother in tis world..u guide mi thru..kor..I luv u..tks for everything u did to help mi..foreva the best..Kor N Mei eva n eva..life time promise..muackx..
PPL..weather is rather bad,.so remember to take good care..drink lots n lots of water..haing bad headace today..take care everyone..endure.....

Yu Shian..

2007-01-13T22:34:00.000+08:00

Morning went for GB meetin..from 8 to 12..meet up wif vinz n li..than today de training not bad..still quite good. a good start..hope it continues..taught drills..hmm..great improvement though nt tat perfect yet..but really iimprove very much..somemore u all so long no do drills liao..today first day can do until the standard we expected is alrealy well done le..kip it up..proud of u all..than gt promotion..than gave out badges n prize..haiz..we cant get our staff sergeant rank b'coz we still have 3 more project haven hand in since last yr..cause of 'N' lvl ma..haiz..bo bian..now must faster pia n get the staff rank..rather sad when the sec4 is the same as our rank..feel rather weird or wat lo..hmm..don noe la..than vinz waited for meeting end than walked to lot 1..haha..forgot to giv back his book..lol..Went home prepare than went out again..gave vinz his book than go chit chat awhile..than went to my ex-workplace there to get my pay..than after tat went to jurong entertainment centre..had class gathering...went to k-pool for pool..hhaa..than after tat they went to bbq at a fecilitator condor..at the last min than i knew is a combine bbq..somemore is wif strangers lo..sec4 de..we nt even close wif de lo..haiz..than sort of sian diao..than decided not to go..thna in btw many things happen..matter of friends..haiz..disappointed..no one noes it ba.only him..than kept very quiet on the way back..feel so xin ku when u wan to get angry but u jus have to act as if u r not..haiz..than reach cck i seperated from them..i feel like crying..very xin ku...all jus came out from my heart..haiz..than i ren n ren..than went to walk ard lot1..tinking where to go..contacted quite a few close friends n yet none replied..some having own activity..haiz..i feel the lonliness at tat moment..haiz..vinz reply mi late is b;cos of silent mode..the others.......haiz..forget it..Walk n walk..haiz..than suddenly walked into k-box..first time go k-box myself..i'm really very stress up n sad at tat moment..jus feel like being alone n don let anyone find out bout my whereabouts..hiaz,,but someone still manage to find out..i can hide everything from everyone but not him,..everytime i jus feel like being frank wif him n sharing everything wif him..picked up his call n hearing his voice..makes mi feel quite warmth..than he rushed down[i tink la] than came into the room..when i see him..my tears really cant hold back anymore..i cried for quite a long ba i tink..thanks for ur shoulder..sry ar..ur shirt r almost all wet..lolz..but i really cant help it..haha..anyway..u really made mi smilex..tks..Everything had passed..hope everything is fine le..after the heavy cry..feel much better le i tink..plus the laughter given by him..nitex..muackz..

2007-01-11T23:08:00.000+08:00

Coming to the end of the week..hmm..my feeling shld b quite happy ba ?! i guess...hmm.. anyway...today had a small misundestanding during recess..hmm..at tat moment of time..i was wondering..jus wat had change ? did anything changed ?? i was shock by everything..i mean at tat moment of time la..choosed to b silence in everything so tat no one gets hurt further more..cause i believe in us..we can settle everything peacefully..it jus nid time..but 1 question also cross thru my mind..how long will it last ? 1 hr ? 2 hr ? 1 day ? 2 days ? or up to mths ? cause last time it is like tat..n it affected mi damn much..tats the worst i ever wanted..jus to sae..i cant care bout much tis yr as i said..though jus now it really affect my mood very much..but i jus controlled myself to kip normal n act as if nth happens..haiz..knew tat it would happen again 1 day,.see her cry i also feel guilty,..i felt i can do nth being her friend..gals r "soft"..mayb not on the outside but deffinitely in the inside..at tat time i put myself in her "shoes"..i thought..if it was mi who met wif tis kind iof things..wat will my reaction be ?? ya..i'll cry too..cause my heart jus cant take it when guys raise voice on mi..others still ok..but our love ones..we tense to b more sensitive..cause we tink we r close one..no pt raising voice when it is a misunderstanding..haiz..mayb different ppl have different saying.but i jus sae out my feelin..i noe vinz temper..he's changing..ya i noe..but..she did it out of no harm..real..she jus raise her voice at u jus b'cos she wan to alert the 2 gals beside to move to other place..n she looked at u jus b'cos u r jus rite infront..aiya..nvm la..i noe u noe de..jus sae out how i felt..cause i kip in myself from jus now till now le;.very xin ku..don take it to heart for whoeva sees my blog..wateva i write cums from my hearts..so i jus wan to freely n feel very relax when writing my blog..anyone feel uncomfortable reading it..i suggest u can leave tis page..nv to enter it again..i don wan my feelin to b affected..i don wan to hide it..i blog jus to write out all my feelin..than during CE[character education] lesson..had a great time..took class photo..by mr yeo..he took our photo cause we told him its time to change his laptop wallpaper le..he put his last yr form class photo..so we said..tis yr is 5C who is his form class..so must change le..haha..so he took our photo to change it,,after sch rain so big..than go lot 1 wif one big "gang",..haha..than also kena wet abit..reach lot1 seperate from shirley they all..spilt into 2 groups..than went to long john wif charmaine..qian wen.serene..wan hui n vinz.than they ate but mi n him no eat..don feel like..than after tat vinz sae wan go eat sushi..than went sakae..haiz..stupid idiot freak sehz..so many things happen in there..than wateva we ordered r not being serve..wateva we did not order or rather jus order 1 serving n it came 5 serving each..siao lo..haiz,..than all i have to pay for it..cause i order de ma..the computer think something wrong ar..haiz..click 1 n it appear 5..haiz..so gek xim..than nvm lo..but still had a happy chatting there ba..it cost a bomb again,..haiz..so irritating..haiz..but no choice la..vinz..sry ar..everytime u had to use nets..cause i don like to..so i orefer giving u cash..haha..i noe u don like to too..but no choice la..u no withdraw money..haha..than after tat went to library..do work than do something weird.haha..than after tat jiu go home le..cause very late le..erm..vinz ar..look at ur blog i really got a shock,..cause u noe wat u doin n sort of erm..eh..aiya..don noe how to sae la..haha..than good la..but jus hope u n jj wont have so much of "hate"..he means no harm to u too..really..he jus like to play wif u..n make u angry than see u angry de expression..=p..hiaz..don noe la..let u decide hao le..its ur choice..haha..than tks for letting mi len on u..i'm really tired..feel like dropping down anytime..u r always the pole to hold mi up..tks anyway..recently feel really stress up..really very..than things kip happening day by day..i jus hope i can take it n accept n adapt to it as time goes by...i feel like dropping down..feel like my head is so stress up n tight up..makes mi feel breathless at time..haiz..mayb i'm still not adapted to it yet ba..haiz..feel really really very tired..really..even the strength to tok is also fading soon..haiz..give mi strength pls..haiz...Being voted as the vice-chairman today..hmm..wat would it b like ?! i tink i'l b doin all the thing jus like the chairman do ba,cause as wat others feedback is..our chairman is nth..doin nth but hack caring everything..haha..a tough job for mi again ba..hmm..endure..jia you..now headace..mayb jus now kena rain so affected..nvm la..no prob de..haha..tomoro will b a long day,hmm..open house for sec 1..or rather is cca open house..haha..than 1st time is in the nite de lo..tink start from 6 something to 8 something..than we go see see lo..help out if possible..senior ma..haha..k la..end here le..gonna go rest.nitex...muackz..

Tracy..

2007-01-10T21:41:00.000+08:00

Arghh... A brand new yr started,..as well as a stressful yr..haiz..'O' lvl tis yr..major exam..our final lap..work so hard for the past few yrs is jus for tis final yr..i mean most impt..cause after tis yr..we'll b seperated..tis week is jus the beginning week..but i can already feel the stress in it..haiz..i bet everyone is facing the same prob as mi ba.hmm..no choice sehx..though noe tat its tough for mi tis yr..but also must endure thru..tis yr really no time for any game..any fun le..not sae no la.but not tat often,..last few yrs already played too muchh..too much of k box..too much of fun outside..no more,...really no more..i bomb my result until so jia lat liao so tis yr i must work double hard,,not to bother anout any unimpt thing anymore..which make mi feel so fan n affects my study..so bo liao lo..now think back also feel so childish..haiz...pls la..don bother mi with all tis idiot thing again hor ! no offence to anyone,,jus reminding,.i'm slower than u all so i nid more time than u all to study..k..money also must b saved liao..used really far tooo much liao..so now must save back..than can buy the things i wan..than can help in my house incomes..new yr new revolution..gaining all my friends back again...hope nth or no one ever changes it,,as we r grown up now n noes how to tink..than as for those unwanted history memories..suggest to flash down the toilet bowl...don repeat it again..no use de..ppl jus can continue walking straight so must well start again..kz,..everyone's changing..jus it is to depend whether to change into a better one or worst one..tats all..so jus hope everythings goes well for tis entire yr..jus hope we can endure thru n help each other thru out the yr..no disaster..no unhappinest n no seperate from anyone..jia you..

Tracy

2006-11-16T11:09:00.000+08:00

DO U ALL NOE HOW XIN KU I AM NOW..DO U ALL NOE WAT PROB I'M FACING ?!?! DO U ALL UNDERSTAND MY FEELING N THOUGHTS..I FEEL SO STRESS UP..WORK KENA SCOLD..CUM HOME ALSO KENA SCOLD..JUS WAT IS IT..PLS LA..CAN U ALL JUS TREAT IT AS DOIN MI A FAVOUR..FEEL FOR MY FEELIN SOMETIMES CAN ?! DO TIS NOT RITE DO TAT NT RITE..THAN DO WAT RITE..EVERYDAY WORK N WORK TRY NT TO TINK OF ANYTHING.BUT IN THE END..PROB CAME OUT AGAIN N AGAIN..WTF...I M REALLY UP TO MY LIMITATION LE LO..PPL WHO R CLOSE TO MI NOE TAT I WONT SCOLD WTF WITHOUT ANY PURPOSE DE LO..I WILL ONLY SCOLD TAT TO THE PERSON I DISLIKE THE MOST N WHICH THE PERSON HAD CLIMB TO MY LIMITATION.. I'M REALLY REALLY REALLY VERY STRESS....ARGH....CAN I REALLY BEG EVERYONE TO B MORE TOLERATE TOWARDS MI..PLS GIV MI SPACE TO BREATH...ARGH................................

2006-11-16T00:41:00.002+08:00

Bloggy Bloggy..I'm really very stress out..work..friends..n the suroundings..met wif too much prob everyday..I drank after work jus now..mixed alcohol..feel so xin ku at mrt..feel like vomiting..n jus can kip telling myself to control,..feel really no energy..I noe i cant take alcohol drinks..but everytime when i drank means i did have a serious prob n feel like avoiding it..wat i can tell everyone is i drank for fun..but it is nt.. I've really been really stress up..really..I cried..i feel vex..everyday..everynite..I cried during work..i cried b4 slp..i jus feel so fan..really..too much prob le..how i wish i can throw away every single unhappinest thoughts..but it is coming again n again..sry for treating quite coldly everyday every nite..listen to ur phone calls is wat i everyday hope..but i jus don noe y i really feel very bad mood..wheneva i bad mood i don feel like toking.jus feel like being calm first..especially to u..cause i noe when i nt in the mood i will vent mi anger on anyone who toks to mi..i tried to control it by keeping quite silent..i'm really scare to raise voice on u..i don wan to..sometimes i relaly don noe wat to do..i drank n drank n drank..how i wish to hear ur voice jus now..i waited for ur calls even though at tat moment i don feel like toking..but i don noe y i jus feel like listening to ur voice..I don noe y u find it hard to communicate wif mi,.u cant communicate wif jj i can inderstand..but i don noe y it is mi..we contact everyday..is it b'cos of my attitude..i don noe ..i really don noe..,mayb at tis time others might b more free than mi to acc u..n have closer contact wif u..but i only can contact u when free time..aiya..i really don noe la..Do tis nt right do tat also nt rite..i work n work jus for tat final purpose..i work n work to try to let time pass..i work n work nt b'cos i wan to neglect u..i work n work also thinking of where to go during my off day wif u..yes..we might b distancing from each other slowly..its true b'cos i really can said tat i really had no time to pei u..really i don..B4 i start working..i knew tis day wld cum..haiz..i really don noe wat to do le..i hope all tis is jus a dream..a test in a living hell..which wld let mi feel some of the sufferin..n let mi out once i've been through all the test..Yes..i suffered..i endured..i tried..My very very best..

-Really very sry-

Tracy..

2006-11-07T00:18:00.000+08:00

Long long time no blog le..hmm..rather miss my blog ya..many feelin n thoughts not written down..everyday jus kip inside..everyday so early go out so late cum back..don even haven the time to rest how can it b possible to have the time to blog..lolz..

Hmm...recently still ok ba..so far so gd..i tink so la..haiz..many up n downs..but really sometimes bother mi till i wan go suicide ar..feel so pek cek sometimes..my up n down nt everyone noes..or rather nt let them noe so nt to let them worry..but sometimes i really cnanot tahan liao than after work go home if they haven turn in than i will automatically break down in front of them..store too long liao than really damn sad liao..than see love ones sure will break down infront of them de..at least i can feel the warmth n luv from them..

Friends r too bz for mi to reach for..other than HIM..the only him,,.lolz..He is my 24 hrs doctor..i'm almost sick everyday..so i'm use to it to "visit" his clinic often..His medicine is so powerful..jus his simple facial expression can make mi cheer up..jus his simple warmth hand can make my whole body warm n make my heart cum into a piece again..n jus his shoulder make mi feel tat i'm being held up once again after having a great fall..yes..its him..the only him...Wheneva i'm down i jus feel lyk him being by my side..nt anyone else..mayb yes..but i jus wish everytime he is the first to reach mi side..haiz..i'm sry..i noe u ar also facing lots of prob although u r staying home almost everyday..but i'm sry i don have much time to kip u acc..hope u understand..He is de one erasing all the unhappinest of mine..

Haiz..now i finally noe tat singaporean is really rich seh..almost all go ajisen eat de all use master card..or visa or wateva card de la..of course nt phone card la..lol.than very less ppl pay by cash..if is pay by cash than it will b $100 note or $50..lolz..rich ppl..than so many ppl so bear to eat a meal for over 20 or 30 dollar..lolz..Today saw pan ling ling the mediacorp artist n her whole family..lolz..manager gave thm 10% discount..lolz..than..wat else.....hmm...oh ya..met quite a few stupid kuku customer..idiot seh,..think they r only the customer in the shop when there r still long queue outside waiting to b sit..than hurry tis hurry tat..they also have to wait for their order to b ready de ma..nan dao they wan eat uncook noodle or food meh..siaox..if rush time than see many ppl than don cum tis kid restaurant eat la..go those foodcourt upstaris than can sit there whole day without waiting for ur food to b serve..somemore self service lo..lolz..haiz..but CUSTOMER R ALWAYS RIGHT..tats the thing i most unhappy abt lo..idiot..hiaz..though i sae so much..but customer r still rite..no matter how much we argued..even when sometimes is customer de wrong than also we kena scold by kitchen n manager..haiz..nonid further explanation de..cause they will nt give it a damn lo..haiz..no choice,.working is like tat de..so....bear wif it lo..everydya jus can tell myself to endure thru endure thru..everyday as long as i noe he's there i have tat slimmer strength to endure thru till closing..can u imagine workng from early in the morning..do opening of the shop till closing of the shop..how stress it is..how difficult it is..a machine will also break down la..nt sae a human being..hiaz..there's still many unhappinest ba..jus tat it is almost forgotten..too much to b written down,..so jus let it pass n start anew..haiz..endure ba..tink tis shld b the way of working ba..

How i wish somtimes i cld jus open up ur heart n mind to see wat u actually r tinking..Pls don cum back hurting mi once more.since u noe u hurtz mi once..n since u noe i'm very soft hearted..i'm easily touch by any nice wording..nv cum back to mi..y is it always like tat..the person i hope for i wish for will nv b there,..whereas the person i on even wan to care abt is there..haiz..don noe la..i'm nt goin to let myself regret anymore..no more..I've said many times..LOOK CAREFULLY INTO UR OWN HEART..ASK UR HEART WAT EXACTLY U WAN..

Tired tired tired..damn tired..stress over customer complain..when i did no wrong..if i really in wrong i sure will admit n be scolded..but the prob is i didn't..haiz..than cashier thingy..losing money everyday..every day closing when we count the final amt there is large amt of losses..haiz..than manager sae from tomoro onwards if tis continue to goes on than we all really have to pay le..divide into all the ppl who can b incharge of the cashier..haiz..really had to b extra careful..than somemore sometimes have to see the customer face..see the kitchen chief face..see friend face..

Vinz..sry..nt i don wan tok to u..is jus tat my batt is really low..than somemore i nid to settle something wif mi manager..haiz..i'm really stress out..sry if i were to have attitude..i really cannot control sometimes..haiz..

[Love n Miss all of u..i really do..]
[Take care everyone..]
[Stay in contact ya..muackz..]

Tracy..4eva the only one..
oO Pls b there still to hold my hands n guide mi thru.I nid U Oo

2006-10-22T00:00:00.000+08:00

Hmm..On thursday[191006] went to Funan IT mall ajisen work..aiyo..so wulu..nv been there b4..than very difficult to fnd tat place la..lolz..than in the end reach there..starting see the manager very fierce..than in the end..she is very nice de..will smilex to u..than tok nicely to u..the kitchen chief also..very nice de..only dislike 1 anuty working there..as if like she is the boss there lo..argh..nvm..1 day only..gt nice n bad person..than 1 funny thing is tat the kitchen aunty..they inside don noe gt wat unhappinest..than quarrel till very loud..lolz..than the outside customer ask mi wat happen..cause they relaly damn loud lo..as if like wan to take knife n kill each other liao..haha..than very funny la..haha..b'cos of small matter quarrel..;lolz..than bout 9.something jiu can go home le..cause there relaly no ppl de lo..tink 1 day earn bout $1000 or less..lolz..than quite bu shu fu ba..than have to walk a long way back to mrt station..than the toilet is also very far away from the ajisen shop..very slack jiu dui le..haha..still can sms de lo..lolz

Friday[201006]..hmm..very sick..very tired..very xin ku..very bu shu fu..haiz..but no choice..now must work n work n work..than earn n earn n earn more n more..lolz..lucky no mistake when doin work..than mummy came my workplace..kena shock lo..surprise lo..than so ex..haiz..lol..than she act as customer lo..lolz..i also act like nth like tat..cause don wan gib manager noe ma..than when break went to find mummy..walk walk wif her round the mall..wow..its really gd when there is someone walking or pei u when ur break time..or else everyday stay inside ajisen will bored till die lo..so sian..than 1 person go walk more sian lo..haha..jus hope one day my friend wld cum n find mi when i having break to pei mi..haha..than mummy treat mi eat ice-cream..sick liao still eat,,haha..but had a great chat wif mum..since i start work..i spend lesser n lesser of my time wif my family..we harder had communication..especially wif my dad..haiz..miss them so much..than when go back to work..feel much more energetic..haha..than do closing..sian..hate closing the most..haiz..do till so late but no salary de..lolz..i mean for the extra hr..lolz..than go home..chatted on phone..than midnite bout 3 something than go slp..waited for him to go back home though my eyes is closing..don noe y jus feel uneasy or worried ba..though nth will happen de la..but jus tat feelin lo..than went to slp..than mid nite kip wake up..saw his msg..reach home le..relieve liao..jiu slp til morning liao..haha..

211006[Saturday]..Morning wake up jiu cannot than le..very unwell..than went to see doc..no choice liao..wan fast fast hao jiu nid to go see..mum sae de la..so i go lo..though nid spend money..but no health..no work.no income,.so health mst b strong b4 earning..so ok lo..go lo..than doc gi mc for work..haha..1st time get a mc for work de..lolz..than went home prepare..eat lunch..than eat med..than rest awhile jiu go work liao..haiz..very tired after eating the medicine.than i still borad the wrong mrt lo..board wrong side..lucky i'm still abit awake..realise liao jiu fast fast change..lolz..than kip on wan to fall aslp..reach there..very no energy..feel very light..haiz.than bo bian..nid endure.than i actually 5pm than break de..as ther is nt much customer..than they gib mi 4pm break till 6..than start work again..very tired ar...wan to slp liao..than when i wan eat medicine..than my manager ask mi nt to eat.cause she sae:" U eat liao will tired..sleepy..as it cause drownsiness..than eat liao how to work.."..than i was like..diaox lo..siao de..where gt ppl lke tat de..ask ppl nt to eat med..sot..if a person gt heart attack than she ask tt person don eat the med to control the heart attacking,..than tat person sure very fast die ar..lolz..than start work liao;.many many many customer..also many ma fan de customer..than i m losing my patince n temper slowly le..than plus my bu shu fu..more die lo..than my face..lips all tat were damn white..they le mi go home at 8..haiz..earn less $10..nvm la..health impt ba..than went to lot 1..than find dor..she finish work than we tok tok lo..haiz..she or rather they all met wi probs too in their work..than she cried as she toked..see liao very xin tong..a friend work till like tat..though is normal but sure will xin tong de..than after tat jiu go home le..late liao somemore i cannot take it liao..than haiz..vinz ar..b careful ya..hurted urself..wif a wound 10 cm..lolz..b careful k..drink more water too..hmm..today hope u had fun ba..sry..cant pei u watch show..i cant take it..

haiz..manager jus now ask mi.,.nx mth de last week ..the whole week no off for mi can or nt..haiz..than at tat time i very sleepy after eat med..than i yaya ok ok la..haiz..now tink liao abit regret..but nvm la..gt extra money..lolz..anyway...Dec coming le..so must fast fast work n work n work n earm more more money.lolz..work till my health also cant take it..lolz..don care la..gt off a time every week jiu can le la..

I miss ya..
Long time no see ya..
I'm tired..how i wish n thought u r by my side n lending mi ur shoulder to lean on..
I'm sick..how i wish u cld use ur hand n put on my forehead to se the temperature..
I'm sad..How i wish u r here to lend mi ur back to cry on...
Noe u also been very ji mo..no worry..i'll pei u when i off day,..ya..endure..Hang On..

Tracy..[Missin u de most.]-[Simply no time]-[Take Care everyone]-[Luv u guys]-[Muackz]

2006-10-19T11:11:00.000+08:00

Long time no blog le..hmm..simply no time lo..haiz..everyday same style..wake up..work..cum back..slp..than another day wake up..go work..slp..repeating n repeating..than very tired..my health is also tired out le..sick tis few days..no go see doc..cause tink tat mayb it will b a waste of money..work so hard than use the hard earn money go see doc..makes no different..jus hope it would recover soon ba..than almost gt well of everything le..i mean my job..so no much worries..but some unhappinest is unavoidable..than ytd jus went to another job..very strange thougg..its quite risky for sec student also..n we have thought n troubled by it very long..but fial conclusion..even though we wan to step out of it now..but as wat i see..its damn difficult le..so lets walk thru together for the time being..i'm always there..u r always here..so i seems no worry in it..as long as i noe i'm nt alone i m safe..we shall suffer the consequences if we r really meant to b "cheated"..we shall also share the happinest together if we were to success..ya ?! glad to noe tat u r ready to work..i noe its ur first time working..no worries..u can do it de..lets risk together ba;..we;'ll nv b beaten down so easily wif our hands close together..nv eva.. Hmm..now preparing to go work le ba..today kena transfer to Funan IT mall aijsen to work..sian..n enough ppl jus hire more la..DUHX..than ask mi go so wulu de place..sianx..than sick liao also cant take leave..sae wat..already told the manager there.bla bla bla..BULLSHIT..nvm..anyway i nid money now..jus work harder...don care..haiz..goonna settle the $250 fast..than no worries liao..hope so ba..really really tired..but i noe he's always there..wheneva i thought of his smilex..my misery will b cut by half..lolz..really..but if he is unhappy..nth change..jus worried bout him..as long as i noe he's there..always there..i'm relieve..hehex..jia you ba..i'll always b there..

== NV PROMISE MI ANYTHING WHEN U NOE U R UNABLE TO FULFILL IT !! ==
== I HATE PPL WHO BREAK PROMISE..U ALL SHLD NOE ==
== DON ALWAYS SAE SRY TO MI WHEN U BREAK IT ==
== IF PROMISE WERE MEANT TO USE IT IN TIS WAY.THAN THERE SHLD NT B HAVIN JUDGES N LAWS IN TIS WORLD ==
== 1ST TIME..2ND TIME..OKOK..NV EVA 3RD TIME..DON TAKE IT FOR GRANTED !! ==
== I'll try to b as gd as i can..i'll try nt to do the things i doesnt wan to get from u all ==

tracy..

2006-10-14T23:47:00.000+08:00

Wao kao..today so damn tired..phew,,very tired..many customer today..than almost all is family family cum de..bu ran jiu shi couple couple..wah lao a..those couple don noe how to zi dong de lo..the hot green tea cup so hot than i saw excuse mi so loud liao than they still hold hand together so tightly a if like tat restaurant will eat up the opposite ;like tat..than as for family..so many kids..than the table as if like their hse dining table like tat..put so many no use de stuff..than i serve de noodle than shout so loud..:"B careful..its hot.."..than they didnt even do anything lo..jus sit there look at mi..than als don noe how 2 automatic shift those things away so tat i can put the noodle on the table ma..so stupid lo..the whole tray very heavy n hot lo..i cant properly balance yet de lo..than they still.....hiaz..don noe la..shucks lo..than everytime in order nt to hurt those ppl i kena myself lo..today kena spilled by the hot noodle soup as well as the hot green tea,..haiz..working jiu shi like tat de ba..hmm,..than go home very hungry..than only gt noodle..but i see noodle i also..eeeee...very er xin de feelin..everyday see noodle liao also don dare o eat liao..lolz..haiz..k la..go slp le..tomoro still gt work from 12.30-5...than 6.30 to 10..hmm..a long day again..lol..nite..oh ya,..but i'm quite happy too cause i didnt make any mistake for every order i took today..hehex..tats a success lo..hiaz..but also quite sad..cause so many friends sae wan go my work place there find mi ..than in the end..empty promise..hmm..nvm la..they might b bz too...anyway..take care everyone

Muackz,,miss ya,.,
Tracy,,

2006-10-13T00:59:00.000+08:00

Morning went to sch for MTL IP coaching..than time is running out..quickly do finish the ying yong wen than rush to work..reach there nt much ppl le..lucky..than b4 tat they told mi gt lots of ppl..lolz..than all the while my stomach hurtz like don noe wat lo..haiz..so unbearable..than bo bian have to endure the pain...than during rest teached the new guy to order..today teach 2 guys..lolz..than overall still ok la..i noe almost everything le..than the manager ask mi to go n memories every single price in the menu book than after tat jiu teach mi how to bill..than i can go cashier there le..yipee..lolz..than after tat i can go b manager le..lol..no la..jk..than 1 of my friend accidentally spilled the miso soup onto a gal hand..n is a bit swollen as the soup is hot,..lucky nt the ramen soup..or else the gal hand sure rotten liao..lolz..than bla bla bla./.lucky tat customer nt so ji jiao..jus forget abt it..help the gal to clear the wound n put lotion,.than at tat time cause manager all go tat table..than customer is coming in more n more..than very bz..,lolz..than my friend cried till eye swollen..haiz..don sad le wo..nth le..jus b more careful ya..tks God the gal is fine..than after work very tired..went home do housework,..chat wif him on phone till 12 something jiu wan go slp le..manager gib mi off tomoro..suddenly de..mayb enough ppl le ba..but don noe the gal gt work nt..she sae after today tis incident she kena shock liao than don wan work;.than ask mi stand by go work..haiz..hope don wan ba..aiya..don noe la..nth to do jiu go work lo..but tomoro stillnid go sch for IP coaching..till 12 something..haiz..nvm la..see to it..
Stomach pain the whole day,,hurtx man !! I m very xin ku..

Tracy..

2006-10-12T09:47:00.000+08:00

So long no online..So long no update my blog le..lolz..

hmm.ytd is my 1 n only OFF day for tis week..actually don have de..but since gt 1 more worker being transfer from plaza s'pura..than i can relax abit..so they giv mi off lo..been waiting for tis off day for very long le..haha..=p..than plan n plan for the day..but erm..nt worked out..went to k box..than walk than eat..than i went home first..cause they seems to have much to catch on in their chatting..than somemore my stomach hurtz..than very tired..than mood no gd liao..so better go home first..than went to take cab n go home..reach home prepare hao the next day thingy liao jiu go slp le..

today still gt MTL Ip coaching..haiz..from 10.55-12.15..sian..than after tat i have to rush to my work place..which wld take mi half n hr..n i start work at 1.30..n have to b there 10 min earlier,..sure die de lo..haiz..nvm..endure...lolz.

Haiz...sry,..i cant accept u..my heart is in a chaos now..i m very confuse..u hurtx mi once,..n i took quite some times to mend my wound tat is cause by u..n at tat period of time..only he is by my side,..giving mi confident..standing by mi.."holding" my hands n bringing mi thru..cheers mi up..helps mi to forget u eventually....but now when i have totally forgotten all the memories u gave mi,..u wanna start a new memory of ours again..u wanna hurtx mi once more izzit ?!?!?! i really don noe la..i don noe to believe u again nt..all the promise u made r broken once..n i'm deeply hurtx..r u here again to break it once more ? or m i jus HER REPLACEMENT ?? jus to forgether u wan mi back ? i really don noe..i have so many doubts uncleared..can u jus show mi once u r sincere ? let mi tell u tis..i hate to b a spare tyre..nv eva treat mi tat..i seen ur real colour..for gd..pls let it continue like tis..so pls..tink carefully b4 u ask mi,..i rejected n rejected u is b'coz i wan u to b clear of ur tinking n heart..u have feelin n is been hurt recently...but mi too have feelin..k..U asked mi a question:"If 1 day he ask u tat question will u sae 'yes' ? "..My ans to u is..YES..i will sae yes..B'cos he is always by mi..wheneva i nid someone,..u said u will b there..but the feelin is different u understand ? if u really wan mi back..than lets see how long can u endure..i nid time too,..It's worth waiting for the someone u luv..As u asked mi out for movie..ok..tats wat i promised u long ago..i'll go wif u once..tats a promise..i hate promise to b broken..so i fulfill it.wait for my OFF day ba..

Tired..

MIss everyone..

Miss ya so much...

Take care..

Tracy.. [ One n only Him ]

051006..Thursday..

2006-10-06T01:35:00.000+08:00

since morning till now..i haven stop doin my art..i've been drawing..shading..painting..colouring..pasting for more than 12 hrs..all abt art n nth else..haiz..y cant art b the 2nd paper for tomoro..y cant it b in the afternoon so tat we cld at least get a rest first..than tomoro still can do some final touch up during the break..haiz..now i haven even studied any maths thingy..haiz..die liao la..i now damn tired de lo..eyes goin to close liao..everytime is art de lo..wheneva the day b4 art exam sure will pia till morning de.haiz..really tired of it lo..nt i don wan to do it earlier is jus tat i jus cant finish it..haiz..don noe la..jus feel very vex n tired..tomoro my head sure very pain de..than mood sure DAMN BAD de lo..cause when i lack of 1 or 2 hrs of slp my mood jiu no gd liao..wat more is tat i am lacking of many hrs of slp..argh.......................so...those who r seeing mi or gonna bump into mi tomoro better watch out,...don provoke mi..tomoro i shall b a slping tiger..nv "wake" up mi..*WARNING*...n if u don wan to b affected by mi than don cum close to mi..cause i may nt co-operated wif u de conversation..i might vent anger..but i'll try to control..JUS LET MI DO WATEVA I WAN TO !!!!! Don control mi....I'll noe the limit n control myself.. Tomoro will b a damn long day for mi..than also will b a black friday for mi..n a bad mood day..tired day..sleepy pig...don try to b funny wif mi...i might jus turn n sae bye bye..or rather no need bye bye la..jus walk away..lol..anyway,,,i wont entertain anyone..b prepared..i'm like tat de..when i'm tired i don talk much...no energy to walk liao don sae talk la...anyway..jus hope no one drop into my trap tomoro...good luckk...hoping tat i cld jus slp n do art at the same time...lolz..go continue my at le..take care..buai...remember..i have my patience too !!Beware...Getting out of hands....BOMB !

TIRED TIRED TIRED.........................

Tracy...

041006...Wednesday..

2006-10-04T22:16:00.000+08:00

Morning along de way go sch,,were goin thru physics..nv stop reading since i wake up..haha,,too kua zhang le ba,..or rather nv waste any time on any other things..haha..than physics paper were still ok..than break..went to canteen to have a few hrs break..than were eating as while as readin n revising bio..hmm..than the paper were still ok la..jus hope tat my science cld get a B3 or B4..hhaa..hope so la..lolz..than after tat went to canteen again..than went to sit outside the cca room the table there do my art..than wait for vinz..he gt f&n exam..when they finish their paper..than all cum out complaining difficult..than hmm..don noe..jus hope u all can do well or rather pass..anyway..after tat went to lot 1..walk n walk n walk..than go kiddy palace..wow..a guy who work there went o play the keyboard..wah seh,..so damn nice lo,...so LOMANTIC..hhaa..than after tat meet biao jie.than went library slack awhile than go buy food than go watch movie....nice nice nice,..really nice nice..haha..the baby so cute lo..haha..kawaii neh,..haha..than after tat went home le..hmm..now left maths paper 2 n art..tmoro no sch..haha..than tomoro the whole day cannot waste time again..haiz..have to lock myself in home n complete the art..cause it has nt evn completed 1/2 of it lo..haiz..jia you..haiz..now very tired..so damn tired..than the whole day wuite tired cause lack of slp ba..cause studied my science till very late ytd n other sub previous day..than mood also nt gd..cause i tired jiu shi like tat de..mood will b damn bad de..so..,make sure u all catch my emotion,.ya,..anyway,.,left 1 or 2 sub le..kambateh..we endure very long le..endure 2 mor days..kkz..jia you..nite..muackz..

Tracy..

031006...Tuesday.[2nd post]

2006-10-03T23:38:00.000+08:00

Argh..goin to breakdown le la..don noe is giving myself too much pressure or wat..haiz..feel really xin ku..really very very xin ku..i wan to do well in my science..yet i've been wasting my time again n again..really regret it.despite knowin time is nv to cum back when it passes..haiz..than at tis time i'm still revising my physics n bio..i really feel very hard for mi to absorb everything..after toking to vinz on phone..request him to go slp first cause he is also tired le n need enough rest for tomoro paper..than msg a friend of mine..indeed a good friend ya..sms u nv reply de..still sae wat will reply no matter wat..shit la..sry ar vinz..send the msg to u accidentally..cause the both of ur contact is close..tats y press too fast than press dao urs..but tks for all the advise..glad to hear u sae all tat..it makes mi more confident n feel more comfortable..tks..don noe u wld have such reply..cause i thought u wld jus .. or jus orh..lolz.. as for U tis kuku..beta watch out ar,..nt goin to reply u nx time round..anyway..goin to pia now till morning..nt giving up..i'm stress up..really stress up..but wat can i do..nth..jus study n study n study...haiz..vinz..nitenite..tks..muackz.

Tracy
[nt goin togib up till i get all knowledge into my head.kambateh neh...]

031006...Tuesday

2006-10-03T18:42:00.000+08:00

Morning woke up abit late.but stil manage to get to sch on time.haiz.damn sian..morning thought meet shirley only.but jy also pop out..urh..nvm..than i walk infront lo..than they 2 behind tok tok lo..who giv it a damn man..than reach school fast fast go ask my friends all the solution for the question tat i don noe..than okok almost each n every question is covered..haha..than go into examination hall..hmm..the paper is quite easy le..but everytime when i sae easy,than sae can do can do..the outcum sure is negative de..lolz..but i noe definitely i will lose 10 over some marks..haiz..maths gonna fail again..nt goin to break records..nv pass b4..haiz..than during the exam..it rain heavily..the tree were shaking so hiong lo..than the pots n plants banners were almost all blown down..even our sitting arrangement paper placed in the foryer board is also wet n torn..lolz..than our hall roof top still will drip water de lo..nigel told mide..than i see n its true..lolz..after tat mi.vinz.serene went to canteen to sit sit first b4 the rain gets smaller..than after tat went to limbang mac..eat breakfast..so yummy,..i long time no eat the mac breakfast..miss it so much..tats y i wantedt to go mac so much..hmm..than tok tok study nth much..lolz..than at there slack slack..than abt 1 like tat go back sch..than played..hmm..tis batch of N lvl students is so slack lo..aiyoyo..haiz..haiz..haiz..than waited for vinz..revise abit..after tat jiu go lot 1,.walkwalk..than go food court..than do physics..bio..haiz..nv study much..than go home le lo..like tat ba..today also kip on want o fa pi qi..hmm..how neh..don noe..jus hope no one really provoke mi ba..anyway..left science..art n maths paper 2..kambateh..holiday is nearer n nearer..ya..yipee..anyway..jia you..gonna pia my science now..i must definitely do well in it..gogogo..

Tracy..

021006...Monday..

2006-10-02T18:58:00.000+08:00

Ytd nite did nt slp well..ytd while studying my history..i fell aslp as i lie on my bed..than when i woke up is already goin to 11 pm..than i quickly msg vinz,..tink he slp le ba..than i continue study for a while more..than go to bed le..than turn here turn there jus cant get to slp.haiz..than slp liao jiu wake up slp liao jiu wake up..so irritating..than at 4 am..i woke up..jus feel so alert..mayb i'm stress over the exam ba,.than i went to watch tv..than 5 something tired liao jiu fell aslp..6 something wake up jiu prepare go sch le..than morning mood swing here n there..feel quite vex in the heart..but don noe y..jus feel very xin ku..than feel like exploding..than jus can gek inside..felt xin ku but rather than venting out n letting everyone unhappy..ya..than the english paper were still ok..paper 1 more difficult..paper 2 were still ok lo..than after tat went to canteen for lunch n had a break in btw for my nx paper..history..nv pass b4..so don have any high hopes on it..so jus browse thru..so pek cek.indeed the paper is damn difficult lo..haiyo..don even noe wat toking it..tis time round getting a single digit again..xi guan jiu hao..=p..have to depend on other sub now le..tks for waiting for tat few hrs..than after tat went to food junction study..eat..than biao jie cum find mi..jiu go home le..lolz..after tat felt very tired..mayb too much knowledge today le ba..than went home..clear 2 sub today le..still gt 4 sub to pia..go go go..jia you everyone..especially my buddy..family..friends...lurb..muackz..

[ Believe in urself even when u r goin to giv up..]
[ How i wish u were jealous ]
[ Do i dare to live in a world without ur presence ? ]

Tracy..

011006...Sunday..[2nd post]

2006-10-01T20:15:00.000+08:00

Afternoon he cum mi hse..than cook noodle eat..haha,..than he help mi install the super dancer..yipee..finally hab le..but cant activate..lolz..in the end.the conclusion is still de same..cant play..lolz..anyway..after tat went to lot 1 walk walk.than go watch hahax..than after tat went to buy something jiu go home le.. haiz..exam tomoro liao yet i stil can go out enjoy,.hmm..nvm..anyway at home i also ne i won study de..cause mayb i nid to b last min de work ba..later goin to pia liao..hmm..tomoro eng n history..eng till 12 something..than have to wait till 2 something for history paper..argh,,nvm..at least 2 sub will b clear tomoro..ya..hehex..jia you ba..happy moment today..yipee..jia you for the nx week..go go go...

[WAITING for the end of Exam..so tis few days..jia you for all sub..n rest after tat..]
Tracy..

011006...Sunday..

2006-10-01T12:12:00.000+08:00

Very tired..ytd very late than slp..2 something than slp..than today 10 something wake up,.ate breakfast.than chat wif vinz..went online..than so qi ji lo...he see my nick liao than wll ask mi wat happen..haha,.tats wat i expected long ago le ba..lolz..=p..feel so happy..myab u will sae mi siao.but u all will nv understand the happy feelin of mine..haha..haiz..slack for very very long le.but don noe lei..no feelin to study..jus can force myself to..cause N lvl is tomoro le..so damn fast..haiz..than see la..later goin to study ba..haiz..anyhing jus update later..friends..kambateh neh !!

Tracy

300906..Saturday

2006-10-01T11:48:00.000+08:00

Ytd..morning slack slack at home..than afternoon went out to meet biao jie n her student n vinz..than went long john eat..than her student paiseh..don dare to eat infront of us..haha.than he da bao than go mi hse eat..after tat mi n him go walk walk..than go home..than he gib mi see the jay chou mv,.than after tat start revise history..wah..damn many info lo..sian.than read till headace..than somemore very tired le..than lie on the bed than fell aslp le..haha..so comfortable lo...lolz..sry ar..hahax..than slp for quite some time than wake up..scare mi lo..dark dark the..than eyes jus open than blur blur..than look ard for him..than saw him lying on the sofa..than don noe gt slp de nt..haha..than after tat went out to the living room..than see fish..walk walk..haha.nth to do..than went back again..than saw him missing..lol...scare mi more lo..i nt xi guan ba..than after tat go out pick up a call..than go back room see him on the bed,..wah..like playing game lo.lolz..than after tat slack slack..than 7 something go out le..than go meet wei hong..went to take my belated belated belated b'dae present.is he owe mi de lo..than after tat went to eat wif vinz..go buy things..than go home le..very tired..than the whole day also do nth much..jus kip on slack..haiz..don noe wats goin to happent to my result..mayb i shld start preparing for the worst..than at nite,.wh call mi..tok n tok..i bery tired liao lo..haiyo..than tell mi the reason the both of them de relationship ended b'cuz of wat..bla bla bla..than ailing sae is partly bcoz of mi..cause mi n him still gt contact..than she tink so much sae wat he still like mi so break wif him..siao de lo..i rather like my buddy than like him lo..pls..i see his real colour le lo..i'll nv drop into his trap again lo..nv..n pls la..make tis clear..we still gt contact is b'cos we r still friends..n we nt everyday contact lo..pls la..tink so much..don use s much reason for a break up..k,..tupid..don ea drag mi in..its none of my business..

Tracy

290906..Friday..

2006-09-29T22:43:00.000+08:00

Schools were still alright..jus tat under stress ba..very unstable my mood..but he manage to make mi laugh no matter wat..tks ya..than after sch went lot 1..sot de lo..a bunch of better for nth de ppl cum find mi trouble..very wu liao lo..nth de..than wan find dai ji..diaox lo..very strange de lei..tis kind of ppl..backside itchy as if..nth to do than go find ppl troubled..than call tis call tat cumdown settle tis settle tat..siao..wasting my time seh..tis matter is a long story..than some more almost kena slap by tat unity sec stupid idiotic freak gal.whom only noes how to shout only when her "GANG" is behind her..her friend sae forget abt it liao than she at there like the dog like tat bark n bark..forget to eat medicine seh..than still raise her hand kip on wanting to slap mi..siao..only she is the one there whom cannot tok nicely de lo..siao..than the finger kip pt pt..sot ar..finger gt problem ar...siao de lo..than still warn mi tis warn mi tat..siao..no rights for her to sae tat lo..she wan warn mi..CAN OF COURSE..go b the GANG da jie first la..tok so much when the real ah lian diam diam..wah lao..sae liao very pek cek lo..forget abt it..fire very big..anyway..tks ya for sayanging mi..=p..at tat moment of time i really can tink of nth else but u..i don noe y everytime when things happen u r he first whom i tink of..only u can kip mi calm n feel safe..haiz..strange huhx..=p..than after tat went food culture..than after tat went to find him..bla bla bla..than after tat 9 something like tat go home..very tired..jus now almost fell aslp..lol..haiz..today can sae a memory of gd n bad..ya..anyway,tks for those who r there for mi..luv ya all much,.as for those who find trouble out of mi..pls la..grow up ya,..don b'cos of small small thing n so ji jiao..than wu dai ji bo dai ji jiu cum find ppl trouble..nt everyone have time to entertain u all tis kind of stupid n childish act de lo..can tell u all i scare of u all..but too bad..u all might b more scare of my GANG ...999..oh pls..than also learn from those "AH LIAN" many new words lo..LOL..anyway..exams jus 2 days away..kambateh..pia pia pia...nitex..muackzx

[counting down 2 days to Gce N lvl examination ]

Tracy..

280906..Thursday..

2006-09-28T21:31:00.000+08:00

Don feel like blogging...LOL..hmm..exam is nearer n nearer..haiz..am i prepared ?? am i ready ?? will i b able to take up the challenge ?? Will i b able to make to sec 5 ?? i jus hope i cld..i must believe ya..k la..endure n have confidence ba..anyway..goin to do my work now le..jia you..kambateh..nitex..muackz..

[ Counting down 3 days to Gce N lvl examination..]

[[ Its coming nearer n nearer..Nothing cld stops it..wat can i do..jus take it up n endure thru..]]
Tracy..

270906..Wednesday

2006-09-27T22:13:00.000+08:00

Haiz..days r lesser n lesser..countin down to N lvl..left 3 days..omg..relaly nervous..but jus can try to maintain calm n do my very best for the last few days of revision..tats all i cld do for now..than today lessons were ok..haiz..had bio mock exam..my mcq jus gt 8/20,..the lowest for the whole level..haiz..relaly don noe wats got into mi today..gt so low marks..haiz..than Mtl also gt back prelim marks..still ok..my paper 2 jus pass..35/70..than ying yong wen gt 16/20..compo gt 33/50..than english also gt back mock exam paper 2..40/80..many ppl fail lo..cause tat day also lots of thing happen,,.than duistracted somehow..so friends..don b sad if get low marks..cause i noe u all can do it de..only tat tat day some prob tats y..ya..don worry..u all can make it de..than after sch..went to itc 1 to do the Ne quiz..than after tat went to lot 1..than went to food court..saw jof they all again..bla bla bla..than ate lunch..do some work..than went to walk walk abit..buy something..haha..someone bought the cross stitch..wonder tat person will b able to finish it up all BY "ITS" OWN or not..haha.. Than pei vinz went to LJS..than after tat saw charmaine..than went home le..tired..later goin to do my work..pia pia pia..haiz..very tired i noe..but..stil must endure..many ppl no go sch,,.aiyoyo..nvm..jus b bothered by my ownself hao le..ya..lol..tomoro long day again..argh..nvm..endure..wan ting.vinz..thanks for teaching mi maths wif lots of effort putted in..cause i noe i'm difficult to teach..yet u all still can teach mi till i can remember..tks lots..luv ya all..goin to buck up buck up n buck up...kambateh..muackz..friends..take care..exam is nearer n nearer..it is jus at the door now..jus waiting us to walk up to the door n open it up n tats it..ya.. muackz..

[ Counting down 4 daes to Gce N lvl examination..]

Tracy..

260906..Tuesday..

2006-09-26T22:18:00.000+08:00

Today sch can b said sian also can b said enjoy..lolz..Mtl we went library..for wat ?? STUDY lo..DO work lo..haiz..but when teacher went to AVA to find miss LIm..than we went to take the board game n play..haha..than when teacher cum back we anyhow throw the game..than fly here fly there..haha..though teacher is very angry at us..but she still act act like clm n control herself..than we kip act act kip joke wif her..lolz..than after tat is history,.wow..sian lo,,.i almost fell aslp seh..so tired..than boring..mny ppl no go sch lo..than in order to kip mi awake..i kip on toking,.disturbing dor..than kip on do tis do tat..very noisy jiu dui le la..haha..than after tat went to lot 1..pei dor go LJS makan...than meet some..erm..very G.L de gals..very wat lo..sae la..sae some more..make sure ur mouth rot ar,..=p..than after tat went to library study..than saw jof,s.q,q.x,d.j..than don noe they do wat there la..jio gal again i suppose..lolz..than tat de jun kip di siao mi huhx..took the pic i put on the table than pian mi to look elsewhere..yuan lai is wan to take my pic..lolz..than vinz thought us bio..wow..pro huhx..if from now till the day of exam..i kip on revising n drilling all the bio notes in my head sure can do well de..vinz..i have confident in u tat u can help mi along..pls help mi..jus bio tis sub..though i might b difficult to teach..but i'll put in all the effort i cld to learn n absorb everything tis few days..than after tat went to LJS to pei him have dinner..than went yakun..than went mac..lolz..thru out..lots of joke.laughter..n stuffs..quite enjoy ba..though might b tired the whole day..but stil ok la...than go home..goin to do work later le..kambateh neh...really tense up now..jus counting down 6 days lo...argh...nevous seh..friends..jus buck up now..don tink of any negative thoughts now..ya..jia you..noe everyone is able to make it to sec 5 de ..best wishes..take care too ya..

Tracy..

[Counting down 6 days to 'N' lvl..]

250906..Monday..

2006-09-25T20:56:00.000+08:00

Morning rain big big..than kena all wet even though had umbrella.cause 1 small umbrella share btw 2 big elephants.lolz.than reach sch.when toilet dry myslf abit.than tks vinz for the tie again.hmm.sry,.i don mean to borrow from u again n again.i realy cant find my tie.than if buy 1 more very bo hua..only nid to wear a few more times.than left 1 yr.nt worth.so sry.i'll try nt to borrow from u..TRY la..cause i noe u also don quite like ba..hmm..lessons were alright.during physics very tired le..almost fell aslp..wahahaha..ms ong no come..qi ji lo..haha...than the whole day were damn happy lo..really enjoyed...no nid to elaborate cause happy in heart jiu hao le..haha..really happy..my day is so bright though is raining today..haha..than after sch don noe gt IP or nt de..awhile sae gt..awhile sae cancel..diaox..than in the end don care than went lot 1..than went to walk walk..than go library study.do work..hmm..after tat went to yakun n LJS..pei him makan..than lots of fun in btw..haha..called home kena scold abit..but hmm..tat little bit of scoldin also nvm la..cause it cant cover the happinest today..haha..reach home..bath.than eat dinner.later goin do work liao..haiz..exam is damn near le lo..even the foyer also gt out a notice counting down to GCE N lvl exam..jus 7 days away..argh...heart is beating damn fast,,goin to drop out liao..lolz..k la.jus calm down..endure..jia you...NO MORE SLACKING !!!!! must make full use le..after exam wan do wat also can..but nt now...now is jus simply study study study..kambateh neh...

[ Enjoyable day]
[ Happy moments ]

! Lets see who will b the one who is bored first..we shall see who will get jealous first b'cos of the circle of friends...lets see who will giv attitude first..who will lose temper first...U will nv win..,mayb once.mayb twice..but nt always..nt foreva..remember..1 had its tolerance..its temper..remember tat..!

Tracy

240906..Sunday..

2006-09-24T19:17:00.000+08:00

Ytd went to malaysia..some prob..haiz..than reach there already evening le..than things to settle..bla bla bla..than at nite..tok to my 2 biao di..many prob ar them..haiz..than sit by the bedside..4 am something than slp..tears were dropping n dropping..rolling down my cheeks..than eyes also quite swollen..than morning 7 something jiu wake up le..went to eat breakfast wif everyone..when biao jie wake mi up i still blur blur..cause too late slp liao than very very tired..than almost roll down the stairs..lolz.cause i slp at biao di room ma.than the bed is jus beside the stairs to walk down to living room..lolz..than after breakfast suppose to b coming back to s'pore de..but cause there's delay in something.than we have to stay there.than i spend some time doin my work there..than very tired..kip on falling aslp halfway thru when i do my work..than head is so pain like kena hit by hammer..i everytime nt enough slp jiu will headace than eyes abit swollen.. than at ard 1 or 2 somthing jiu leave le.. than reach s'pore jiu go eat.,.jiu go home le..reach home many things to pia.than later goin to finish up all the work..haiz..art ar art..die le la..i relaly scare i cant finish on time lo..i haven even started much on it..haiz..left 1 week lo..1 week lei......urgh...nvm..endure..believe in myself..hmm..u take care lei..N lvl 8 days away only..take gd care of urself..especially ur health..no health than forget bout anything else..tc ya..endurance...perservance...BEst wishes..

oO I hide b'cos i wanna b found by u oO

Tracy..

230906..Saturday..

2006-09-23T10:34:00.000+08:00

Morning woke up liao still happily thought of today's programme..goin out..bla bla bla..but when i jus woke up..mum told mi tat something happen to my grandparents..they met wif accident..n we all nid to go back to malaysia today...she sae everyone to b present..haiz..i really don noe wat to do..everytime when mum sae go back malaysia i sure will wan go..but tis time round i felt really uneasy..letting him happy happy wait for today.than in the end a sudden prob n everything is gone in the thin air..but sry..i really nid ur understanding..i really wish to pei u around.but i also nv expect tis kind of things to happen..for more..they r my grandparents..if they r nt i wont gib it a damn..but they r..so i have no choice..understand ? haiz..sry..really sry..other than sry i don noe wat to sae le..cause i noe u now is damn angry wif mi..but i really gt no choice..i myself also very fan..haiz..aiya..don noe la..if u don understand.n get upset wif mi..its ok..wo liao jie..jus b it ba..i now also cant do anything much..too much to fan about le.
[PLs ..hang on..pls..wait for us..i miss u all real much..sry 4 nt visiting u all 4 so long.pls.hang on.]
[SobxSobx]
[vinz.i nid ur understanding too.but if u really nids time.than let it b..i noe u'll understand 1 day.]
sry..mum sae nt to spoil our mood of goin out..is jus tat tis is really unexpected..so sry to u..

Tracy..

220906..Friday..

2006-09-22T20:54:00.001+08:00

In sch..erm..haiz..tat 2 gal still silent..or rather no tok tat much.donnoe la..than lessons were all ok..time is runnin out..exams jus 1 week more..haiz..pia ba..jia you..than during mtl..haiz..cant go AVA..because of the "HOD" thingy..bla bla bla..nvm..stay in class lo..than teacher kip[ on stressing us to do our work..than we kip distracting her..tok to her.joke wif her.giv her lame guess..haha..than in the end we still have to pass up 2 ying yong wen..1 compo..haiz..but teacher forget abt passin up le,..than we also act as if we forget..haha..but by monday have to pass up to her..P.e time also very fun lo..many laughter..haha...

After sch..actually gt history de..but many ppl nt goin,..than in the end we found out tat ms ong cancel the class as too less ppl attend..lolz..haiz..but ms ong ar..u really stress us out u noe..u r putting too much pressure on us le ba..when we were goin to have our S.S N lvl..u also like tat stress us out..than now history u also like tat..haiz..really realy very scared of u u noe..wheneva i saw u i also feel like running away lo..haiz..wat can i do..jus endure..i'll try my best..but i cant promise tat i wil get the result u wan from us..i cant promse to hit the target u wan us to get.. but i'll put full effort in it..

Went to lot 1 wil vinz.wan hui n serene..than went walk..went foodcourt.than went back wif vinz to take his hp b4 goin out again..than went to yishun to meet mummy..we went eat sushi..haha..than mi n mummy very full lo..full till wan vomit ar..lolz..than vinz still can continue eating..lolz..than after tat went to walk..than go back home le..xin ku ni le.help us take basket.than help us take the plastic bag for so long..lol..hard on u..tks..than went home..do thingy..online..

Today can consider a smooth day ba..than also very happy.haha..so long as nth big happen can le..i don wanna care so much too..live for myself..haha..hope tomoro is a fine day too..nitex..muackz..luv all of u..impt fellows in my life..

Tracy

220906..Friday..

2006-09-22T20:54:00.000+08:00

210906..Thursday...

2006-09-21T22:31:00.000+08:00

Whole day ups n down..lessons still ok..than bio lesson whole period in toilet..cause ms wong nt feelin well than go home liao..than tok tok..than after sch..went to canteen to have lunch..quite funny wif the ppl whom is wif the same table wif mi..lolz..than when almost finish my lunch suddenly shirley came n ask mi to pei her go toilet..than saw her eyes watery like tat..than she ran to the toilet,..than i also ran..haha..than in the end she nv go to the toilet..she sat at the corridor behind the toilet there..than she cried til very jia lat..haiz..kena shock lo..than knew wat happen..than yp n jm came..than haiz..many conversation btw..than shirley n yp almost fight lo..than i also kena shout n scold by both of them..fine..nvm..i don understand anyone..its ok..no one eva understand anyone..than he still dare sae i didnt try to understand her..siao lo..how he noe i nv..if i really nv try understanding her.than i wont b there toking to them..i wont b there to care abt anything le..i wld slap rite in the face of theirs liao lo..pls la..don bother abt anything if u don understand anything,.u r jus simply a guy whom r so.......urgh...forget it..than i cried till very cham too..i press on the tap water at the sink there very long..than the water kip flowing like my tears lo..at tat moment i really feel really really sad..really..than sharon also kena scare tio..lolz.sry ya.cai hui.tks for being there..noe u all wan to noe wat happen..but at tat time i really don noe wat to sae.but tks for concerning mi.tks..than vinz came,..i really almost breakdown in front of him lo..when i see him i jus feel like my pillar of strength is there again..feel much more better..at least i noe there's someone there 4 mi again..=p..than after tat headace.haiz..everytime after cry jiu like tat..than after tat went to AVA for english mock exam..haiz..cant concentrate much ba..than after tat went to class than bla bla bla..than after everything settled..jus hope wheneva anyone encounter any problem jus b calm n everything will b settled..jus hope nth would b affected now..after tat went to lot1 ..meet biao jie.than actually wan eat sushi but aiya..tat shop hor..haiyo...than after tat went yakun eat.than went long john eat.than go buy bubble tea..than after tat went walkwalk..than saw bh..haha..promise to treat mi to k box de oh..don fan hui hor..than after tat went home..so tired..go home..do housework.watch tv.online.later goin to do my work le..chinese still gt 2 gong han n shi han to do..argh..siao liao la..lol.than hmm..overall today really gt happy n sad..jus hope everybody's fine.n is alright.let tomoro b a new begiining again ba.friends don have hatex.buddies no unhappinest.families no trouble.altogether..PEACE..no one is perfect in tis world.rememer tat,,.no one can fully understand anyone..b there when wheneva someone in family needs help..B THERE..luv u all the most..nv to b separated once n again..nv eva..we nid to b strong as a metal..ya..muackz..luv u guys..nth can eva separated us..We will grow up n understand a little bit more about one another after any unhappinest..nitec.

Tracy..

200906..Wednesday..

2006-09-20T22:24:00.000+08:00

Morning crazy crazy de..lolz..than nth much la..during MTL we actually shld go back to class de..than we went to AVA to join them watch the show instead of goin back to class..haha..than after tat our class cum to AVA..nask us out..than we all don wan to leave..haha..than teacher ask all of us to go n get a worksheet n do n pass up by friday..haiz..sian..still hab to do work..sob sob..lolz..no choice..have to aim for a A1 or A2..jia you ba..than during mtl many "conflicts:"..aiyo..so ma fan lo..tat guy also de lo..so damn childish..sot de..don sae anything don have any comments don have any eye contact jiu no prob liao ma..aiyo..each other step back jiu can liao ma..aiya..don noe la..guys nowadays..the whole day de class still ok la..haha...nt bad..in a gd mood the whole day..nt much disturbing things tat affect my mood..lolz..than after sch went to lot1 ..went had lunch..than tok.play.joke.chat.lolz.than go walk.than go library study..do work..lolz..vinz. bought new bag.new specs.he sae wan buy new pencil case.new everything..lolz..you qian ren jiu shi zhe yang de..haha..than in library many things occur..haha..so funny lo..lol..than 6 something jiu go home le..tired indeed..than go home..went to do housework than go cook dinner..than do my work..watch tv..like tat lo.than 10 pm online..haha..like tat lo..nth much..than now headace le..goin slp soon..hehex..wateva happinest shall from now on kip in my heart n minds..nt goin to write out as its nt goin to last long..i m really glad to see all those feelin words which cum from the bottom of ur hearts..true n sincere...lurb..muackz..nitex..take care..tomoro gt eng mock exam after sch..haiz..bo bian..jia you ba..muackz muackz..

Tracy

190906..Tuesday

2006-09-19T22:33:00.000+08:00

Last nite very late than slp..than suddenly at midnight..dreamt lots of things..than suddenly woke up..than b4 tat i was dreaming of biao jie toking on the phone,,than when i open my eyes..really she is toking on the phone..than she seems so unhappy..haiz..but tat time i also blur blur..than went back slp again..than morning go sch..still ok la..during mtl than we went to AVA again..woohoo..joined them watch the show..we today can go cause our chinese teacher nv cum today..tats y..haha..than some sort of unhappinest..than after tat went to history..haiyo..so sian lo...than kena sae by ms ong abt my attitude n many many things..than actually we sit behind the lo..than ms ong ask us to move in front n sit beside jy..argh..sian diao..cant do wat i wan..cannot lack..sian..jus rite in front of ms ong only lo..sian..than after sch..hmm..kena shock..noe today everyone also nt in gd mood.include mi..so i understand,jus can put a smile on face..than haiz..2nd time so fierce kena shout at..at tat moment very shock than my mind immediately blank..than my smile frozen..than don noe wat to do..jus can kip on walkin downstairs with a mind don noe tinking wat..lolz..than reach canteen sit there..than go toilet..than tears dop dop dop..drop down..haiz..really sad..i jus cannot take it when ppl raise their voice..very sensitive..tats nt wat i wan..but i cant control..sry..but everyone shld now i hate being shouted at..no one likes..but i understand la..he nt in gd mood..nvm la..if i tok back jus now..more cham lo..later explode..jus now is minor explode..if i sae somemore is MAJOR explode le lo..lolz..than after tat vinz.shirley.wan ting n dor go home..than i myself go study..sat outside cca room de table n chair there..than wif minds filled wif many thoughts..than start revising abit..start doin work..than go home..than felt very tired.go slp..than 7 something or 8 wake up than go cook dinner for daddy..than online..than watch tv..later goin to do my work liao..many things happen again..everytime i said de thing always the same de..so tink u also memorize liao..so hope u understand it..than i said liao.promise nt to force u anymore further..noe u r very xin ku..noe u feel very tight up..noe u r goin to break down liao..so..i wont force u anymore in anything..so tat it make u happier..wateva i claim jus treat tat as i m writing on a wishing list to the santa claus n which will nv b fulfill ba..haiz..jus go on..than jus hope tat everything goes well from on..jus concentrate on my studies now ba.peng you men..jia you ba..
still will b there even if u don wan..tats my promise..

Tracy

180906..Monday

2006-09-18T22:40:00.000+08:00

Today..sch,..still ok..haha..during bio class..jj gave mi a pen..a lao ya de pen..ball point pen..which cost $2.50 for 1 lo..i go popular can buy 1 box liao..lolz..than lesson were okok lo..but history..aiya,..many thingy la..than very stress lo..kip on gibing us work to do n complete..than in the end no time to mark n go thru..siao de lo..wat shit is tis man..sot..i noe she do all tis cos of our OWN GD..but i don tink is the way ba..we stll have others sub de lo..we nt in a history sch lo..we nt everything abt history lo..we still gt other sub de lo..haiz..don noe la..jus hav to endure..haiz..than after sch..immediately go history class again..it is an extra class lo..haiz..than after tat straight away go maths IP..argh...siao liao la...than band 4 n 5 combine..lol..cause band 5 also nt much ppl ma..than vinz same class wif mi..lolz.than after tat pei serene go yew tee take her contact lens..than after tat went back to cck...than went watch ..erm...okok la..the show..don really gt watch the show ba..lolz..hmm..than like tat lo..erm..serene really scare of hantu ar..=s...than i seems like goin to watch movie alone like tat..lolz..don sae too much hao le..hmm..after tat jiu go food court..than had dinner..wib biao jie n vinz..than wow..my stomach very pain lo..than eat liao jiu hao yi dian liao..than after tat went to walk walk..mum called..than sae gt cook..wow..i was damn full lo..sian...than bo bian have to go back eat..than go home..kena scold..hiaz..expected de..nx few weeks till end of exam no nid to go out anymore liao la..haiz..home.sch.home.sch,home.jus like tat lo...hiaz..nvm..anyway..exam is here.must study..haiz..somemore today get back report book..3 fail 3 pass..haiz..die die die..jia you neh..than many prob today lo..so damn fan lo...pls...i wan to warn everyone...don eva anyhow sae anything hor..kip ur mouth as clean as possible...no offence to anyone..jus wanna sae..i don like ppl who sae things tat r unpleasant n i wont like it..n yet they can sae till like nth like tat..than anyhow bomb..will get jail de hor..anyway..feeel so vex lo...i really don noe wat to sae liao la..feel very uncomfortable...argh..exploding le..yaya..combination of jealousy..anger..unhappinest..bla bla bla..haiz..wadeva..i don noe wat to do nor sae le..nitexc.go do work le

[ I saw ur smilex again today.]

Tracy

170906..Sunday..

2006-09-18T22:19:00.000+08:00

Hmm...update on ytd..hmm...morning till afternoon...erm..still ok la...slp till very late..slp till noon..than wake up..than ate breakfast cum lunch..than went to watch tv..than chat wif families..tok many many many things..than after tat went out..meet him..than go B.P..than go makan..ice cream !!! lolz..than after tat went back to cck..than go buy something jiu go back le..nth much..but inded quite happy ba..hehex..Smilex..

Tracy

160906..Saturday..[2nd update]

2006-09-17T15:29:00.000+08:00

Add to ytd post : [160906.Saturday]

Went out..meet him..don noe where to go..lol..than lai lai qu qu also tat few place..so we decided to go 1 of tat few place..lolz..nt possible to ask him to go window shopping wif mi ma..cause he guy lei..sure will aiyo..faster la..wah lao..very sian lei..bla bla bla..many comments.sure de..hahal..guys r the same..haha..so nx time when i find bf i must find those tat can pei mi go shopping..go walk walk..go many many places..without comments de..than will ship wif mi happily de..haha..tink left a few in the world le ba..haha..than haiz..in the middle part..he is tired le..than gt a hrs of "coldness"..haiz..cant do nething..jus can let him rest aside..than i sit beside him lo..than quiet quiet a few mins later than take a look at him..than like tat lo..than i m nt feelin well..my stomach very bu shu fu..so i also affected somehow..but at last still back to normal..haha...than went to walk walk abit..than went mac..than da bao for biao jie jiu go home le..haha..gave him a lollipop..though is jus a lollipop.but i find tat it contents lots of happinest..to him i don noe la..than i also don noe wat favour he likes so jus gave him a apple favour de..erm,sry ar..if u don like tat favour..n sry if u don lyk lollipops..i don noe u like or not..but tats de way i wan to share my happinest wif u..^_^..than go home..very tired..feel very unwell..than abt 12 something or so jiu slp le..indeed a happy day spent wif him..haha..though mayb he might feel borin sometimes..but sry ar..i'm lyk tat de..aiya..donnoe wat i toking la..jus feel happy jiu dui le..n less vulgar..haha..tats the part i lyk most..no vulgar n tats peace to mi..hehe..

160906...Saturday

2006-09-16T12:15:00.000+08:00

Hope today will b the same as ytd..ytd de happinest..nt sadness...nt boringness..jus the simple happy..jus the simple joy..jus the simple smilex..haha..morning wake up early than went to wash all my bed sheets..than ate breakfast..than go online..so bz looking searching uploading downloading bla bla bla the songs..lolz..than nose bleed..haiz..than my shirt is all blood..than i go toilet..than sneeze than the mirror also gt blood ..looks like the ghost movie ya..haha..than went to bath n change out of clothes..hmm..later goin out ya..haha..so happy./but don noe go where..so confuse..lolz..hmm..he today morning also very nice neh,..haha..seems so gentle..seems quite cheerful..likes the attitude..than he still can hao hao tok to mi..still can hao hao reply mi..than when i tell him abt the bloggy thing he still can hao hao tell mi..than nt wif any vulgar..nt wif any anger..feels really gd..jus feel gd wheneva novulgar is involve..haha..hope later will b the same oh..haha..k la..later in the night zai update hao le..hehex..hope everyone enjoy their saturday mornin.afternoon.night..haha..

150906..Friday

2006-09-16T12:03:00.000+08:00

Ytd post..hmm..ytd a short day..but after sch stil have history IP..than during classes were still ok..chinese went to AVA..haiz..b4 tat went back to class to noe our results for prelim..hiaz..really damn sad..paper 2 i only gt 35/70..it is jus a passin marks lo,,.haiz..really sad..i really cant afford to fail my chinese or rather jus pass it,..really cant..i don wan..i hate tis grade..the others in class gt at least 38 near 40..or most of them gt 40 something than shirley gt the highest..50 something..i really very sad lo..haiz..but wat everyone said to mi is all the same thing..jia you lo..pass wat..nvm de la..haiz..but tat is nt wat i wan,.u all noe ????!!!!!! haiz..even teacher n my friends all gt shock abt my results..i m the last few in my class lo..eevry time get first few..now last few..nt sae i wan to boast..but it is the truth lo..haiz..than after tat went to AVA lo..watch the show..erm..watch half half only..cause fell aslp..than wake up watch awhile than go back slp again..lol..than it was raining almost the whole day..after tat went to canteen for lunch break..than went to history IP..than actually teacher wan us to conplete SBQ which is abt 45 min//but evryone sae tired tired..don wan don wan..than very very noisy than in the end teacher ok la..haha..than end quite early..than after tat went to find him..than he called mi than tat "idiot"[jus jk] sheng qin take the phone n sae..lets go drink oil together...urgh..kick his back side ar,,lolz..than have happy n down moments in the whole day ba..but in the end i still find it happy..than went LJS..than help biao jie da bao jiu go home le..haha..than at nite..someone is totally different..haha..don noe y..i jus felt tat..i found a happier him..i sense a cheerful him..i feel the smile of his..than the words the ways he tok to mi is so pleasant..really feel good..but every time on off de..lolz...than like tat lo..very late than slp..than msg msg halfway while waiting for hs reply.though he reply very fast..but i also fell aslp very fast..lolz..too tired le..than like tat lo..a happy day indeed...

140906..Thursday

2006-09-14T20:44:00.000+08:00

Sch were quite fine..nv care so much tats y nth much to trouble abt..whole dae feel like drifting away from them..don feel like toking..mayb pain ? or mayb mood in the playground playing swing ? don noe la..jus feel like kiping quite..than watching ppl..ern..sometimes it feels quite gd ya..but sry if i were to gib no respond to anyone..jus don feel like it..someone told mi tat there is no more the previous d.s.k.y...ya..tats true..it is being buried long time ago..of course she wont feel it la..she had sooo many friends ard her..than another one everyday dar here dar there..no nid friends le..i understand la..have bf liao is always like tat de..definitely neglect friends..as u noe bf can ovretake every single friends..but once break..no more liao lo..cum back find friend liao lo..haiz...sometimes really don noe la..wats the problem wif anyone..isnt it fine if everyday to b happy..happy go lucky..i noe there wont b happinest every single day..every day also will see unhappy things goin on n on..unhappinest is more than happinest...isnt tat terrible..n pls..nt i don noe or nv feel anything..i do..i jus choose to kip quiet for the time being ba..there r more serious n impt things for mi to settle rite now..compared to those friends or wateva shit thingy la..n pls..noe ur limits..noe ur doings..don cross over the line lo..i have eyes to see..don gib mi tat sucky attitude when u urself r in wrong..enough is enough i tell u..nv eva treat mi as a spare tyre lo..when no ppl to b wif u liao than cum find mi..stop it la..u hurt alot of ppl u noe..i raelly don noe how to tell u lei..everytime tell u liao than u get angry..wats the point..when ppl tell u something than accept it n try to adapt to it..than try to tink whether is it really like tat nt..don everytime gib face..than once ppl tell u their tinking than u jus sae ya la ya la my fault my fault la.sry k..wats the pt of all those anger words..no one is blaming u n u r there blaming urself n makes ppl feeel guilty..siao..if one day i really had enough..i sure slam the door rite in ur face de lo..make sure u wake up..even sometimes ppl tell mi my mistake i also try to tink abt it..n feel the nids to change n change slowly..jus make tis clear..nv try to b funny lo..my limit to u is at the top of the world liao lo..than after sch..went to lot 1..than went put deposit for vinz spects..than go eat at kfc.damn piss off lo..wan sit there also cant.don even feel like sitting there lo..no topic..out of point..don even understand or noe wat they saes,.so boring..than after tat went walk walk..than go home le..headace..really very pain..thought go slp awhile wake up jiu hao liao..but no..does nt help..wake up liao more pain..pain till my sweat kip coming out..u can imagine how pain it is ba..haiz..than haiz don noe la..recently as if many things is happening again n again..on n on..jus hope faster exam..than go work..than spend every hr working without any worries..tomoro is nt a short day..by rite is..but ms ong wanted us to pia history..after sch still have IP from 1 to 3 pm..worst than normal day lessons..haiz..jus hope my headace will b gone soon..feel really terrible lo..head so pain than cant do anything..sian de lo..haiz..vinz also nt happy..noe he suppress his feelin for very long le..hiaz..i noe is difficult for him..i noe he is xin ku..stop it ba..stop suppressing than in the end it b'cums a time bomb n bomb out anytime..i noe it makes mi feel gd wheneva u r in gd mood..but since it makes u hurtz so much,.rather u stop it than one day u exploded n bomb everyone into pieces..mayb try to b more hack care..erm..or shld i sae..jus make urself comfortable in every matter..if nt comfortable than jus act the normal way..argh,,don noe wat i toking la..jsu take care la..haiz..headace liao u still cum ask mi stupid question..!!u r really a person i cant tolerate sometimes u noe..argh.. nvm.. no hatex no worries.

[ Accept mi for who i m..if cant do tat..than pls leave..don nid anyone to act as if they care but it is jus an ACT..so hypocritex..hate tis kind of ppl..u no sae i also ownself can see who r those..]

[ Nt happy..sae out la..don nid gib mi sucky attitude..hatex tat de most..]

[Do i look like a pail ?! mayb lo..round ma..but make tis clear ppl ! i m nt ur venting anger pail ! ]

[ Everyone has limit.,.so does mi ! don everytime vent anger at mi..than makes u happy jiu hao liao..i have my own limit also k..u tink whole world only u have limits ar..siao..than go back to the planet where every aliens cld tolerate u..]

[ MAKE TIS REALLY VERY VERY CLEAR..I HAVE MY OWN LIMIT TOO ! I RLAELY CANNOT TAKE IT LIAO LO..DON NOE WHO TO TURN TO LIAO.EVERYTIME FEEL HURT FEEL ANGRY..TELL PPL LIAO THAN THEY EITHER.."OH..COOL DOWN LA..RELAX"..OR "OK"..THAN CONTINUE THEIR CONVERSATION. OR JUS LISTEN LIAO THAN GIB A EXPRRESSION JIU GO AWAY LIAO..THAN WHEN I CHOOSE NT TO SAE THAN THEY SAE EVERYTIME KIP TO MYSELF THAN DON WAN SAE OUT.THAN SAE OUT LIAO WAT OUTCOME WILL I GET..MAKES MI MORE WORST THEN..]

[ if anyone planned to leave mi alone in a mall..than pls don eva ask mi out..]

[ i m no ones dog to follow ppl round.i have my own decision..i have my own sae..]

[ wan control mi..can of course..when u one day b my parent liao than i gib u control lo.]

[ don order mi round too..i m nt ur secretary..wait till u find ur job n b boss liao zai jiang ]

[ Nv eva scold mi the F words tat i hate most..if u wan to F than go geylang or changi..]

[ Don gib mi attitude when i m nt in the wrong..]

[Don expect mi to sae SRY when i didnt even did anything wrong..]

[ ACCEPT MI FOR WHO I AM.tats wat everyone wans..so does mi..]

I said all tis b'cos i really cannot take it liao..everytime also mi fault like tat..wateva thing also mi go sae sry..siao..if no go sae sry than wont have the peace i wan anymore..siao..don noe how to tink ar..No offence to anyone for my post..Blog is somewhere where i express my feelins..writes my "dairy"..nt a place to gib everyone to see liao than feel hurtx than try to find trouble from mi..no..i sae wat i wan..if anyone unhappy...too bad..cause tis is my feelin..u all have feelins..so do i..rememebr tis..in the whole wide world there r still other ppl surviving..the world don belongs to a self..If anyone feels offended after brownsing thru my blog..than leave..i don mind de lo..don wan get hurt..than don see my blog n wont noe my feelin n wont make u feel unhappy lo..as simple as abc...anyway..i jus sae wateva i wan to sae..if i m wrong than sry,..but remember i wont always b the one in wrong..k..sometimes u ppl also must tink thru..anyway..always blessed..take care..

[ Hahax..vinz so cute..lolz..sry huh..call u when u slp le..but ur voice so cute lo..haha..k la..sweet dreams to u..noe u have been tired of everything..everydy..every matter..so bless u everyday..really..if cant tolerate than don ren anymore..rather than u explode..kkz..take care..no worries for tomoro..cant confirm whether can pei u nt.but jus wan u to smilex ba..nitex]

130906...Wednesday

2006-09-13T18:15:00.000+08:00

Crazy in sch..erm..or rather almost whole day..than during mtl als nth much to do..than were very noisy..bio went to lab..but no practical la..lolz..than have to complete the fajar paper..than during english..listen to the teacher tok awhile than she go mark her paper le.than we nth to do..than stomach pain..also very tired..than slp lo.than after sch went to lot 1..eat..walk..walk.than go eye's optical shop..vinz n yan wan new spects..i went to gai kiang wear spects.recently feel like wearing spects so much lo..sot le..hhaa..than likes the frameless de..to mi might b nice,.but to others might nt..so....hmm..like tat lo..haiz..but he looks gd in almost al the spects he wore ba.only final decision is he choose..erm..or mayb contact wld b nice too..cause eye so big don wan go SHOW OFF will b a waste seh..haha.gt electricity de neh..will sot eveyone gal de..haha..haiz..than when abt to go toilet..than turn back see my skirt..kena lo..!!! wow..sian..cum tat one really damn ma fan lo..than somemore no bring extra de.haiz..than quickly went to toilet..haiz..overflow lo..haiz..than lucky my bag long enough..lolz..than try to cover.lucky also nt a big patch lo..lol.than pei li go buy penknife..for special purpose of course..lolz..u noe.i noe.she noe.she noe.she noe.she noe.he noe can liao lo..haha..than go home le.haiz.than the whole day kip on awhile pain awhile nt pain..sian lo..still cramp..than like ruan ruan de..as if no energy like tat..haiz.sry if i sae wrong thingy or gib face.cause when pain really wont even tok de..sry peeps..i ren le..its far too pain..i today can laugh out already broke records le..haha,.,.no la..jk..but today relaly feel great..kip on feel like laughing smiling.mayb see him gt smile i also feel like smiling..haha..he's so cute..than in food court jus now also tok many thingy.lol.than also saw sheng qin.hong peng.joffre.qi xing.than tok many LAME things lo.....lolz..fun la..anyway..really..today i felt happy..really..but stomach pain.no feelin ar..haha.no la..he's de main idea ba..hehex...hmm..anyway,..sry to make u angry ar..now u ren a few weeks or mths liao..erm,..but nan mian de ba..so sry ar..jus hate the "cum cum"..cum tat one so tao yan..so pain.sometimes la..sian lo..than somemore sure mood swing..swing till ppl house..than also makes the ppl mood swing to other country..swing into a pot of hot curry..sian lo,.haiz..but wan control also abuit diffivult ba..when too pain really cant sae anything de..than will also pek cek.hmm..haiz..somemore will have pimples..somemore will have to spend money...aiya..very ma fan jiu dui le la..haiz..than go home..goin rest..too pain le..than lata goin to do work..than don noe liao..lolz..hope everything's alright ba..take care..
No ngry la..plsssssssy la..i also don wan de lo..haiz..anyway..looks gd..wi ur smilex than is BEST !

Tracy

WEI,,U VERY MA FAN LEI..KIP ON ASKIN MI OPNION..U TINK WAT,I UR MUM AR..NT I WAN TO SAE LO..UR PROB UR TING DO URSELF.TINK URSELF LA.EVEN IF WAN ASK..ASK 1 TIME JIU HAO LIAO MA..ASK SO MANY TIMES.SO NAGGY LO..U VERY QI GUAI LO..CANNOT TAHAN SEH,.TRY MY BEST LIAO LO..I TELL U..HAIYO..DON NOE LA..TRY NT TO ENTER ANY HATEX THINGY INTO MY DICTIONARY..SO PLS..NOE UR LIMITS..I HAVE MINE TOO..K,.I CAN PLAY WIF U.JOKE WIF U.BUT NT ALWAYS OK ! MAKE TIS CLEAR.SICK N TIRED OF EVERYTHING MAN ! ARGH.....URGH...

2006-09-12T23:01:00.000+08:00

[-谁也离不开我们趁经许下过的沉诺-因为这是让我遽续走下去的力量- ]
*Believin in U..Following ur footstep..I pass my heart 2 u from now on..Blessed 4eva...*

120906..Tuesday

2006-09-12T22:27:00.000+08:00

Early morning kena hit by all the photos paste on my room wall..argh..than i hack care continue slp..cause a few mins goin to wake up le..lolz..than in sch..erm..ok la..than mtl all combines in the AVA..than ONG SHENG QIN..u very clever hor..sae y express also wif u all..CANNOT AR !!! lolz..than watch shows..erm,..still ok la..than haiz..knew half of my chinese prelim results..haiz..a digit starting wif a 2..haiz.others gt 3..really sad lo..i really cannot let my chinese fail de lo..i will nv allow it to happen de lo..haiz..really very bu fu qi..haiz..must buck up,jia you jia you jia you..lolz..than during history..nth to do.than write letter...lolz..than ms ong gt cum sch but no cum class..lol..also gd la..gt free period..than haha..many funny thingy from a gal from history class..haha,..than after sch..erm,...go lot 1..pei vinz n charmaine eat lunch..than rush home..bath le,..jiu go out..than went ajisen..than interview..than many many info..haha...ming jie n cai hui is to go bugis de aji tei..sort of the same as ajisen..but more high class..than i m goin to bishan junction 8..hope it will go well ba.but as for now shld concentrate on exam...kambateh neh,...haha..than after tat went to walk walk shoppiong wif cai hui..than she bought a shirt for mi..erm..i will return u something de..i nt use to it la..haha...anyway tks..than abt 7 liao jiu go yishun meet up wif biao jie..than walk walk..tok tok..eat eat..than waited for mummy to finish work...than dad fetch us home..almost fell aslp in dad's car..than reach home..online..than tis n tat..oh ya..qian wen..don b so sad le..i might nt noe wat is happening excatly to u rite now..i may nt understand ur feelin..i may nt relaly uinderstand u..but wat i wan to sae is..nv eva use hurting ur ownself as a excuse to avoid everything..nv eva..kkz..u hurt urself is jus like hurting ur family..friends..ur luv ones...whoeva who is concern..if u don tink of urself than pls tink of others too..nt only u 1 person gt heart..others also have..k..i sae all tis nt b'cos i meant to make u uncomfortable..jus wanna to let u noe tat hurting urself doesnt mea n tat every things is solve..k,.haiz..endure ba..there will always b a ending to every matter,...kkz..erm,..as for now..concentrate on ur coming exam..jia you..12 more days only..k la..end le..buaiz

Tracy

[u rox ]

110906..Monday..

2006-09-11T23:16:00.000+08:00

Morning meet jie downstairs..than actually sae wan to walk to interchange together de.cause can save bus fare..but too bad,..late liao.by the time walk there already late liao.than bo bian took bus lo..than reach sch..erm..ok ok la..morning went to Chi Prelim..than the teacher forget gt 4NA'O' LO..so sickening lo..sian diao...than when it is abt to start liao we were sill outside the hall lo..no one ask us go in..THEY FORGET US LE..URGH,.,...lolz..than when we went in we were damn angry lo..than aiya nvm la..than start the paper..erm..today de paper ok lo...hope can score well...than after exam 12 something only,.than we have t go back class for lesson..2 more periods to go b4 finish sch..than we were like don wan to go back lo..than we were standing at near the canteen toilet there toking..dragging the time..haha..than awhile later ming jie n aloysius came down.than they sae wan go back...haven even finish lesson lo..cause their teacher nt here today ma...than he very funny lo tat ming jie..than in the end most of them go home..than mi..shirley n dor go back to class..than physics lesson..than gt worksheet,..awhile later jiu finish lesson liao..than went to sit at foyer for long time..than pei charmaine go detention..than bla bla bla..than 7 soemthing go home..than cook dinner..than watch tv.than pack bag..argh !!! sian..msn cant go in..siao de..don noe wat happen...hope tomoro can b ready to use ba..than chat on phone wif vinz for damn long..than nv notice the time PASSED so fast lo...wow..so fast 12 am liao..i cant believe it lo..lolz..k la..nitex..

[So happy..biao jie is back home le..yipee..miss her soooo much,...she bought things for mi..minnie mouse..piglet bla bla de thingy sweet..so cute lo..tks ya..haha...]

Tracy..

Had great times today..
Heard some of e words/phrase i long waited for..haha
so happy
hope tat person really understands n continue progressing..haha,..jia you..
muackz

100906...Sunday..

2006-09-10T22:34:00.000+08:00

Morning wake up liao go meet vinz.than pei him go breakfast.than go swimming..many ppl today ya..than swim swim swim swim.....bla bla bla..than 12 soemthing than go bath..than go lot 1 meet wen..than go interview at LJS...than wait for the manager wait quite long..ate 2 meal liao than cum..lolz..than interview..wow..the salary very low lo..$3.20 only.i b'cos gt work b4 than giv higher.nomal is jus $3.00 lo..wah piang..lolz.than we'll stay in contact..than went to walk round lot1.find jobs.quite a lot ba..haiz.many many things la..bla bl abla./.mayb jus skip the chapter..than modd something wrong..skip again..noe myself can le..but ok le,..than sit at a place sit stare stone tok play..than go home le..lol..than reach home..tired seh.than online.prepare for tomoro..haiz..k la..gd luck for tomoro prelim jiu dui le..jia you ba..nitex

Tracy..

2006-09-08T23:54:00.000+08:00

Feel like goin to swim tomoro..haiz..tat de place for mi to rest.to relax myself..n cost 80 cent to go in..stil ok ba..jus wan to enjoy mysel..tink thru..reflection..haiz...swimming swimming..don noe y jus feel like swiiming now n then..haiz..

080906..Friday..

2006-09-08T22:52:00.000+08:00

Morning woke up wash up jiu go eat breakfast..than after tat went online..than go prepare jiu go out le..mit qw than take lrt to bangkit..bbq held at constance condo.their church de..than reach there..erm..the event..ok lo..xi guan le ba..cause is jus like when we GB go to church..than after tat 3 soemthing they jiu start eat some of the ready-to-eat food..than after tat zai start bbq..foods were alright..anyway..tks for all the preparation ba..than 7 something jiu leave le..don wanna stay le..i very tired le..than somemore i still wan go find jobs..than asked them if they wanna go back nt..than they go wif mi lo..than meet vinz on lrt..than took back to cck..than went to food court..than vinz n charmaine had their dinner..than after tat went to walk.than went to 4th floor..erm..than bla bla bla..than after tat mi n qw went to find jobs..than they 2 went to find their entertainment...haiz..really hope jobs will b coming my way..i really cannot take it le..i relaly had stupid thoughts..being so stupid to tink of all tat..haiz..but i reallyvery tired of it le..i really cant tink of anything else..i noe it isnt a right way to tink of it..sry.i'll get it out of mi..haiz..even now ask mi go b maid i also will..haiz..than after tat went home..b4 tat dad called n ask mi to buy an eye-drop home.cause he nids it..but i don even had any money..really very bu shuang n feel so sad lo..last time wateva they wan they jus call n it will b delivered home..but now..haiz..than called kor.he still at plaza singapura n wont b back so fast.than call hy she no pick up phone.tink she working ba,.haiz.the eye-drop is jus $3.30..i cant even afford it now..jus wat had happen to yu shian..aiyo..last time i still can buy a dozen of it..but now..even a drop also cant afford lo..haiz...than also don noe who to borrow money from..i really feel so paiseh to borrow money from someone..but at times really don noe wat to do..haiz..everyday i jus survive in the world without money..it hurtx n shuckx...haiz..jus hope it ends fast..than bo bian go home.sry dad..than go bath..online..rest n thought bout tis n tat..haiz..

Might nt b a pleasant day for u recently..sry if i were really so useless..sry if i were nt always there for u when u nid mi..but mayb i'm only tat u cant feel ot or wat..or mayb in ur memory..i'm nt..but tis ok,..i noe i've nv success in making u feel gifted..i'm always nt there..u might feel furious.disappointed.angry.etc etc emotion..but i'm affected too..haiz..i might nt really understand u..no one understands anyone..but i noe u do when u r needed to b understandable..u nv fail to do tat ba.,.now i'm having some crisis..i really don noe how to pop it to u.but tink u also roughly noe bout it le..haiz..mayb u now might jus let mi b..let mni leave my own..let mi settle everything by myself n nt to find u anymore..nt to bother u anymore..n jus simply leave u alone,,tats wat u hopes..but so fast as i noe..n u might noe too,.its impossible ba,somemore now i'm wif some prob.i really don noe how to handle le,,.u might leave..but i might nt,.noe wateva i gonna sae will nv make u b pleasant wif mi..haiz..but i jus wan to let u noe.as as so far as i noe..i gonna let u noe bout my prob sooner or later..its jsu a matter of time n ans u goin to gib mi back...but wateva ur decision is..i'll respect...haiz..

[confused][sad][many many emotion][gone case][thoughts of stupidness][etc..][etc..]

How i wish i were to get drown one day jus when i went swimming..but i noe i cant jus leave like tat..cause there is still lots of things waiting for mi to complete it..waiting for mi to endure thru..waiting mi to take up the challenge..haiz..n many friends waiting for mi to go concern of..waiting for mi to cheer them up..b by them..waiting for mi to pei them here n there..i'll endure thru..though is really xin ku..nv eva felt so xin ku..haiz..but i noe..no one will eva go smoothly in the lifetime..everyone will definitely have up n down..tats wat i goin thru now..tats y everyone is equal.no one is perfect..tats y i feel fair enough for mi to endure thru as it will also happen to every single one.one of the day..

*Mizz the day when we were together having fun.enduring every single unhappinest /happinest together..toking to each other.complaining tis n tat..gossiping..its fun..its a enjoyment..is something tat might jus even cheer mi up the whole day or even a few hrs..really..haiz..i jus wan to find it back as time pass..is it possible ? depends ba,..but no matter wat..i wil tink it is possible even if one day it is definitely gone case..no one eva changes my mind set..really miss u so much..haiz..*

Tracy...

070906...Wednesday

2006-09-07T22:33:00.000+08:00

Morning 9am wake up.tha hd breakfast than went out..dad drove mum to work liao than i go help deposit cheque.than in the end gt some prob.sae i deposit wrong place.lolz..than dad went do something than cum back cck fetch mi again.than drove to jurong east..than went to the samsung company to repair my flip bao bei phone.haiz..but jus changin the LCD jiu cost $3oo dollar something le..than the person also sae nt worth it lo.must well go buy a new phone..haiz.than bo bian..than went to imm walk walk.than go fix mummy watch..than went to west mall..dad went to settle some of his hp thingy..than after tat went back to cck..than go to the normal shop to ask how much if to repair the hp..than cost $100 soemthing./.tat person also sae nt worth it..haiz..than sell also no one wans..sian..don noe how le la..than after tat pei dad go eat lunch.than meet up wif shirley..er..tks for the $5 for topping up my ez-link card..i'll pay u back as soon as possible..haiz..than took 190. than along the way wan ting n valerie board the bus..reach orchard..went taka..than walk here walk there..saw things i like..but jus remember bout my pockets,.haiz..dropped the idea..see see jiu hao..saw things which i feel like buying for my friends..but also jus remember..my pockets again...haiz..than after tat they went to eat..than valerie noe my prob..than she sae she treat mi eat first as to bless mi..than i was rather touch..i promise to treat her back when my problem is all solve..cause i noe she's there n understand mi when i'm in crisis..

but friends..if i told u all my situation..nt i wan to get pity from u all..nt i wan u all to treat mi tis treat mi tat..i'm jus feelin vex..n feel the need to let u all noe my situation..so tat u all can understand n giv way to mi when i cant go along wif u all..haiz..

than after tat went to take bus back to cck..was qutie tired le ba.than went lot 1..than on 4th storey..stand there chat wif them..than went into k box find vinz n charmaine..than awhile later kena "chase" out..than go out lo..than went to walk walk than went to sit at fountain there..than start drizzling..than go inside shopping mall again..than waited for them to cum down..than tok abit..than pei wen walk home..halfway only la..lolz..than walked back..vinz pei mi walk back home..gd rite..lolz..can save money no need take bus somemore stil gt guy pei mi walk home..first time neh..lolz..than walked home..than walked to sunshine place.than walk bck agian.than he took cab go home..

than reach home..went to bath..than jus online..jiu very bz liao..lolz..at a go many ppl tok to..hiaz..no one will eva knew tat tracy ang will b wat she's like today..no one eva knew n expected..friends..tks for ur concern.but i tell u all nt wan u all to ke lian mi..i jus wan u all to noe my situation.for those who noes..i hope u all can support mi thru out..i relaly cannot take it at times..really..i might nt show..but i really is very very vex..i kip on pressing on to my emotion..haiz..i knew u all will understand mi..though u all might nt b able to help mi but i jus wan u all to support mi till the end..if can help mi round to ask for jobs..i nid it..at least let mi settle away the debt first..than as for those if at tis period of time..i really gt no choice n have to lend $ from u all..i'm sry..but i'll fast get a job n return the money..i wont drag too long..i'm sry..n friends..pls don b'cos of the problem i'm facing now than u all start avoiding mi..don worry..i also wan face.i wont ask for help unless is really bo bian liao..wat i can sae now is..i really don even have a single cent le..my piggy bank money is almost goin to use up le..n tats the only cent i have,,haiz..relaly don noe how to survive thru at least tis mth..haiz..sure die de..haiz..friends...remember tis the time i nid u all most..don leave if possible..remember the promise u all made...true friends don leave..tats true..i hope i can get wat i wishes for now..at least i noe friendship doesnt nid to cost mi any single cents..n yet stil can last as long..pls..b there.tis might b the most fragile period..hope u all understand..haiz..i relaly cant b'lieve my eyes too..how cum i have landed in tis state..i can announce tracy ang as bankrupt now..haiz..how i wish i can like last time..pei him go watch movie as we like..pei him go k box as he wans..pei him go here go there as n when...but i cant now..all is jus a dreamland for mi now..i told someone..i really don feel like shopping when no money in my pockets..the feelin jus shuckx..when u see something u like u cant even buy..last time de mi is so relax..saw something i like jus pick up the thing n headed to the counter n pay for it...as simple as tat..but now is..pick up the thing n admire it than put it back n headed to the exit n leave...haiz..the feelin jus shuckx..the feeln is something i'll nv experience..haiz..let time n fate decide ba..i jus hatex it now..bless mi pls...haiz..i really don noe how to express my feelin to u all sometimes..jus hope u all get to understand ba..tks anyway..haiz..

friends..sry if i were to let u all get disappoint in mi when i rejected u all to somewhere..i jus cant..
understand mi..tolerate mi..walk wif mi.....tats all i wan..nv to leave..

Tracy..

060906..Wednesday..

2006-09-06T22:43:00.000+08:00

Morning wake up at 6 something..than go toilet wash up..than go back slp again..than 7 something my favourite loud alarm song woke mi up again..lolz..than get prepared jiu go out meet up wif vinz n dor..mood might b quite unpleasant..at tat moment jus feel like crawling n hiding inside a hole...nt lettin anyone see mi n tok to mi as i might blow out..haiz..bo bian..than reach swimming complex..went to change out..than went swim..wan hui n her mum came..than swim swim..tok tok..erm..still ok la..anyway i go there n swim for my own sake ma..no matter how furious things gonna happen is also none of my business as i'm goin on my own sake..no one points a gun on my head..so still ok la..than enjoy myself quite alot..haiz..but my swimming timing really drops very far..last time can b calculated in seconds..but now..1 min..haiz..gonna buck up..gonna swim again one of the in tis week...erm..after swim went to lot 1..than buy bubble bubble tea..lolz.than went walk walk..very tired liao..than somemore no money no tok..than suggested to go home..sry ya vinz..nt i don wan to pei u go here n there..jus we might b tired today..than somemore i don like goin out when i don have money..tats mi..sry..hope u;ll understand..than unhappinest brought over vinz..his family..himself..jus hope he will b alright n walk on..even if no more energy..i'll cum n piggy back u n bring u thru...tats a promise..n i've been wanting to tell u..kors r nt everything..there r still others who care more than they do...b more aware of tat someone ba...haiz..u might get furious of some of the things i said..but jus wanna noe how i felt everytime..as u said b4..no matter wat..jus sae it out to u..tats wat i;m doin now..so hope u can slowly undeerstand ba..than go home liao very tired than go slp..than wake up..cook dinner..than watch tv..online..chat..bla bla bla..than do housework..haiz..vinz so unhappy today..or rather everyday..but jus hope things might change ba..he also have to depend much on himself ba..haiz..nvm..than later gonna slp le.gonna go out tomoro ba..wanna go find job..mayb..or..haiz..don noe la..
recently i really met lots of prob..today jus said to someone..cause is really cannot tahan liao..i bear wif it for many days le..tats y its bothering mi everyday n my mood is like tat...all is b;cos of money MoNeY MONEY !!!!!! urgh.... haiz..no one will eva tinks tat tracy ang yu shian will eva end in tis kind of situation ba..of anyone is goona die..than i shall b the one in front of them ba..my situation is realy die lo..only u all don noe..even those who noes liao also don noe how to help mi even though they sae they wan to help mi..its really something which is unbearable..than something really don noe how to go settle..haiz...how i wish a rich guy cld appear in my life now..lolz..i've nv eva been troubled over money thingy lo..nv eva..haiz..i realy don noe how to face family..face my friends..i cant do tis cant do tat wif them..haiz..recently i need money badly n i stil tink of bad solution lo..wat also tink..physical also tink..emotional also tink...haiz..wat a stupid mind indeed..relaly don noe how le la..yu shian ar yu shian..wat happen to u seh..y suddenyl so cham..y ur friend all cant b up to ur help...y theres no ppl who can help u out in ur friend circle ..in ur life ??? argh..haiz...i really don noe wat to do..how i wish i were drown or uncouncious..than nt to wake up..but i noe i cant...no matter how serious de matter it is ..i must endure thru..i musnt b so fragile..i must zhen zuo..friends..endure n go thru wif mi hao ma ?! now u all r always there..tats the pillar of strength of mine..vinz..u too...jiayou

Tracy

050906..Tuesday..

2006-09-05T22:29:00.000+08:00

Morning woke up by the alarm from my hp..put the alarm signal song as "hui dao guo qu"..than the music will get louder n louder as time drags..than after tat wake up than eat breakfast..prepare liao jiu go sch..than went limbang..than nv thought he leave limbang le..than go walk 1 round than go back sch again..went to library..study awhile..than after tat jiu go for ms ong s.s IP..than teacher go thru some impt thingy..than the lesson end at 12 pm..so tat we cld take a break in btw..than went mini mart..limbang..than go back sch again..didnt hab proper meal..all tibits..than rest awhile..exam jiu start le..wished everyone good luck..than enter the examination hall...Today is S.S 'n' lvl exam..haiz..every teacher told their student tat merger n seperation wont cum out..but it really cum out in SEQ..omg..shucks..so damn funny lo..everyone didnt even care to bother to read up on tat..but it came out..lolz..than overall still ok la..have confident in failing..lolz..nv pass b4 ma..aiya..nvm la..jus hope other sub can do well..jia you ba..after tat went to lot 1..than go foodcourt..than go walk walk..jiu go home le..very tired..than go online..eat dinner..haiz..tomoro planx for swimming don noe how le la..so pek cek lo..wateva lame reason i gt from every single person..really piss mi off man ! jus hate to decide on a thing..jus hate to plan something as it nvs goes well..sianx..lucky today gt vinz there to help mi thruout..cause everytime he is also de one who wil sae don noe..or anything..than make mi worst..but tis time different..he helps mi settle everything...with a gd attitude..character..words..no temper..no vulgur..isnt it good..haiz..jus hope its nt jus for today ba..=x..sian lo..really..tonight i feel really terrible..really..jus don even feel like toking to anymore..cause gt a feelin once i tok than i wil explode n everyones get affected..haiz..wateva i said will said the wrong thing..haiz..don noe how la..so confuse minded...anyway..tks vinz..don care le la..who wan go jus go..anyway i go there for my own sake..anyway..no ones will noes or guess wat i m tinking nor wat i wanted to express out..haiz..jus live on...

Tracy...

[U r great..how i wish time cld 4eva stop here...repeating n repeating n repeating every single act u done..such a great impression...]

[Sry..i'm jus nt alright...]

040906...Monday

2006-09-04T18:21:00.000+08:00

Morning woke up at ard 8 something...than feel like no energy like tat..than ate breakfast..eat medicine..than go back slp again..feel reall dizzy..than 9 seomthing shirley call mi ask mi goin back to sch nt..sry.cant pei u go back..cause i really tired..than went back slp..slp till 12 or 1 something..than received sms..than go bath..feel really weak..head very dizzy..than also quite hungry..than very bu shu fu jiu dui le..than went out..went to yakun to find vinz..wen n charmaine..than sort of happy n unhappy..haiz..than after tat went to kfc..than see they eat..haiz..i really feel so unwell lo..haiz..than kip on like blur image..mayb o the medicine ba..than after tat they go home liao..wait for mum..than pei her go eat..than after tat went home le.very tired..later gonna go study le..study for tomoro 'N' lvl social studies..jia you n good luck for everyone ba..kamabateh neh..take care lei..best wishes..

Tracy..

030906..Sunday

2006-09-03T23:42:00.000+08:00

Morning wake up liao than went to have breakfast..than go see doc..waited very very very very long..even when taking medicine also very slow lo..their process like the tortise lo..haiz..than went home,,quickly charged my hp..no batt le..than prepare..than go out le..nt feelin so well from morning..haiz..headace..dizzy..haiz..

Took lrt to jelapang..than meet up wif vinz..than go the greenridge shopping centre if i'm nt wrong..decided very long outside the hair salon b4 goin in..i'm deciding whether to cut or not..than vinz is there delaying time for him n his hair..lolz..jk la..but i noe he don bear to cut..i also..but as wat i noe..ur hair grows fast..so..don worry..now short hair still as nice ma..than after consideration..since he ask mi pei him cut..than jiu cut lo..since he sae cut V shape..jiu cut V lo..lolz..than after tat waited for a while than my turn..the aunty still asked mi whether i reborned my hair nt..LOL..my hair really straight till like i reborn hair meh..lolz..than when she cut she sae so long..than she nt tall enough n hand nt long enough to help mi cut..lol..than bla bla bla..1 aunty tok bery much..lolz..than here it goes..my new hair cut is out..quite ok lo..than when aunty use mirror to let mi see my back view of hair..really like jus reborn de..lolz..than after tat vinz send mi to the Lrt station than i took lrt to south view..than cross the road to take 300 go home.......

Reach home..felt hungry..than cooked something to eat..times running out..than sort of very rush than ate my food quite fast..than vinz gave mi listen to a song...very nice lo..than after tat rushed out..than suppose to alight at tiong baru..but as i nt feelin well..than feel aslp..n take a stop more..when i opened my eyes..than i jus see the sign outside stating TIong Baru..than heard the sound "Door closing..di di di.."..lol..i kena shock lo..than bo bian..immediately alert seh..than jus at the time vinz msg mi..lolz..very zhun hor !..than alight at the nx stop[Outram park]..than take back..waited for hui yi very long there..she also took the wrong train..lolz..than after tat headed to the shi gu condo..than had many activity...than gt play 1 game..i kena forfeit..than another guy also..than they gave us de punishment is to each run from one end into the middle of the grass patch..than the others were sitting round us.omg..than they still wan us to run as if like we were on the beach shooting mtv..than touch each other hands...nt 1 hand..is BOTH hands man..than must criss cross..than still must sae some words..than stil must turn round..lolz..but nt bad la tat guy..still very daring..he very dare lo..even i also sort of gib face..lolz..but since see his face okok..as it is different from wat i thought wat he;s reaction wld b..than i pei he him play lo..eveyrone was laughing..lolz.than after the games..went to have dinner..nice..though is vegetarian de..than after tat have video looking..than many many things la..than thruout..don noe y..missed everyone so much..especially my families..than msg..sry if scared u..than heard some shocking news..haiz..god bless wor..than ended at 10 pm..so tired..

Haiz..received vinz msg..knew he met wif some prob again..i really don noe how to convince him...i really don noe...but wat i always can sae is jus tat i'll always b there for him..i'll nv leave..even one day he cant regonize himself..i'll make sure i'll b by him to regain back himself..even if i noe it will nv b possible to success...i'll try till the end..as wat he told mi b4..mayb he forgotten..but he told mi..nv give up till the end,..as u'll nv noe wat the final result will b..even if the result is negative which no one wans..we'll still continue striving for the best...wif this pharse..i shall nv giv up..i forced myself to endure thru..its rather xin ku..but i noe i got to do it in order to reach the top of the mountain..I know u might b tired of wat i always repeatedly told u..but everytime though is the same thing..but it reallly cums from my heart..sry if i've been rather sort of over protect or sensitive towards u..i;m like tat..u said b4,..
[ V1nV1n corner~.. " nobody and nothin ever leaves us.. cuz dey all live in de heart " ]
PLs..nv to leave us..haiz..noe u r xin ku..noe u feel like giving up time n time..again n again..but pls endure thru..jus like wat i always do..even though no one notice it..but one day we will see the result we wan..
I may always b the pillar of strength of urs..but i m fall one day too..I'll nid u to b by mi too..so..pls continue b my pillar..though u might nt b able to hold on to it as its to heavy..=x..but jus wanna ask u to b the sun of mine..

Oh ya..yesh..Gonna start jian fei from today onwards..Eat less..Exercise more..Control..endure..perserve..yipeee..everytime i said liao always fail in the end de..hope tis time can succeed n see the final happy n long wanted result...Wif his encouragment..n his pei ban..hope can......

Now very tired after a whole day activity here n there..gonna go slp soon..For the ppl taking 'N; lvl Mtl tomoro..jia you oh..kambateh neh...all the best..endure thru ya..Vinz..jia you...u can do it de..ur studies r always well..believe in u..tks for ur testimonial too...it cheer mi up too..nv thought u wld write tat...lolz..tks..muackz..*blush*..k la..best wishes n good luck...nitex..

Tracy..

[ Ur smilex rox my heart ] [Luv ya smilex]

020906...Saturday..

2006-09-02T22:08:00.000+08:00

Woke up ard 7 something..than mum n dad go out liao...than wash up than go eat breakfast...than online..tok tok..haiz..some unhappinest ba..than ard 10 something than go out wif kor...went to pasir ris..went to tzu chi for blood donation.,.than reach there..so anxious lo..so nervous too..than saw the needle..tellin myself to b brave..feel like fainting seh..lolz..than very fast lo..a few mins than a packet of blood is produced..lolz..than after tat shi gu gib mi n kor hot milo n some biscuit to eat..than the nurse gib mi pill to eat to don noe add my iron ar..lolz..than the nx donation will b at november 25..goin to donate again..than december gt a blood test for donating bone marrow..will b there to test my blood too..lolx..Saving ppl lifes is wat everyone shld do..cause we might jus need someone help one day..anyway..it wont do us any harm ma..haha..encourage n hope the friends ard mi can help out n do donate blood too..than after tat took mrt back to cck...started to feel unwell somehow..head dizzy..headace..than tat ah kor of mine..alighted at kenbangan to meet his gf..haiz..than mi alone took the mrt back to cck..than meet vinz..than went walk..than went k box..than sing without using mike..we didnt touch the mike today lo..lolz..than was so cold..after tat went to yakun eat..than took cab go home..Vinz sae he feels happy today..hope he is really happy..tats all i wished for...he happy..than i also happy..haha..

[Lots of laughter as well as unhappinest today]

[MIND UR WORDS ! MY DEAR !! ][Somehow u make mi feel so unhappy when u said something i don like..]
[Did u notice it not !! urgh...]

=Likes the smilex of urs=-It cheers mi up-=Pls don hurtx mi=

Tracy

010906...Friday

2006-09-01T22:16:00.000+08:00

A new mth had cum..now ish already September..A new start..A new chapter of life..A stress period...Endure...

Morning wake up ard ..hmm..don noe wat time liao..than stayed inside my room for a long time..nv go out to the living hall..than stay till afternoon i tink..than go out..eat breakfast..or rather lunch ? hm..both la..than watch tv..than do some homework..than after tat go online...sry vinz as i cant pei u out..than the whole day lisntening to songs..trying to calm myself down..than till evening cum nitex..online,..many ppl cum tok to mi..n makes mi laugh..than change profile..added photos..than help vinz too..don noe y..his smile really makes mi happy..really..don noe y...other ppl smile ar...hmm..better don let mi see when i m unhappy..or else i gib a box rite in their face ar..lolz..than felt quite relax at nite..than had some bad n gd conversation..knew how he felt..than erm..like tat lo..tomoro..haiz..don noe where to go...now damn nt in the mood to tink all tat..haiz..how..how m i goin to ans to him..i cant always gib him a ans i don noe..but i really cant tink of anywhere le..haiz..how how how...how i wish he can plan for tomoro..haiz...knew tomoro my mood wont b tat gd rather..shld i continue to go out ? haiz..don noe la..k la..end here le..nitex

Tracy..